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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect a cleaner to come at a set time that is convenient for me?

43 replies

PenelopeChipShop · 25/02/2013 11:39

Ok I realise this is a first-world problem before I get slated for even having a cleaner in these tough economic times.

I'm on maternity leave with a non-sleeping 8mo baby. I really do mean non-sleeping. He wakes every 2 hours through the night even now and I feel on the edge of losing my sanity. I am trying to get him to nap at regular times in the day as supposedly that helps night time sleep.

When I was working my cleaner came at various times on a set day, I didn't care as I was never in and just wanted a clean house when I came home. When I was first at home with a newborn I didn't really mind either as life was complete chaos and I was just grateful someone was cleaning while I was endlessly feeding.

Since weaning my son I asked the cleaner to always text me what time she would be here so I could plan my day around it - if she needs to clean the kitchen I obviously won't feed him at that time for example. But now his day has much more of a pattern, with three meals and two sleeps I would rather she comes when it works for us. I asked her what day she could do morning at about 11 as thats best for us. she said Monday. Lst week was the first week she came then. It was fine. This week she turned up an hour early. I had spent the previous 45 mins trying to soothe him to sleep and he had just gone down when she walked in , yelled hello and woke him.

She has now said that despite having agreed only 2 weeks so that Monday at 11 was ok she nw wants to do 10 instead. I said rather shortly that no I wanted to keep the arrangement as agreed even though it means I think that she has a wasted hour in the day.

Surely I have been quite flexible up to now and most people tell their cleaners when they want them to come not the other way around??

OP posts:

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHopeful · 25/02/2013 11:52

I can see where you are coming from but I do feel a bit sorry for your cleaner. It's not the best job in the world a a flexible schedule is one of the few benefits.

My dd was a crap sleeper (still not great) and at 8 months slept for 2 hours before waking and needing settling again, then waking and needing settling. So I know how knackered you must be.

I think all the stress could have been avoided if instead of shouting hello she had just walked in quietly. She could come in at 10am and if he's wake no problem just continue as normal. If he's asleep she could do quiet jobs (dusting, cleaning bathroom, kitchen etc). Till he wakes up.

If you are feeding him them she just cleans somewhere else till you are done.

It does get better with the sleep.

Snootymum · 25/02/2013 11:52

I think YANBU

DeafLeopard · 25/02/2013 11:55

I get what a PP has said about it not being the best job and flexibility is one of the few benefits.....but you are paying her wage, if she doesn't want to commit to a time, then you are free to find another cleaner. YANBU

SarkyPants · 25/02/2013 11:56

YABabitU

She signed up for the job on the basis that you are flexible. It is up to her whether she is happy to change the arrangements now that your situation has changed.
IME cleaners juggle the flexible jobs around the nonflexible ones and there is a limit to what you can resonably expect.

I think you need to sit down with her and emaphasize that you can't be flexible any more and agree a mutually convenient time. If she can't offer that then you need a new cleaner.

DontmindifIdo · 25/02/2013 11:59

YANBU - you need to say you need a set time each week, if she can't set a particular time for you (and she must have some sort of rota for the days/times she goes) then you are going to have to rethink the arrangement.

I would suggest most agencies will be able to accomodate a set routine if your cleaner can't.

Goldenhedgehog · 25/02/2013 11:59

YANBU. Explain what you need. If she's not comfortable with that you may need to find another cleaner.

TheDoctrineOfSciAndNatureClub · 25/02/2013 13:14

My understanding is that part of your cleaner being self-employed rather than an employee is that she sets her own hours. I don't think most people do tell their cleaners exactly when to come for this reason. Ours comes Thursday mornings but it can be any time.

If by coming at 11 to you she would have to not accept another job, she may not be happy - however, a quick chat might resolve the situation eg she does quiet jobs, or another day of the week might be OK for 11am.

Goldenhedgehog · 25/02/2013 13:22

Being self employed means providing a service. Either the cleaner is able to provide the service the OP requires or she is not. Using a self employed cleaner doesn't mean you have to be available for them to turn up whenever is convenient for them.

Fresh01 · 25/02/2013 13:27

Dont be too rigid in what uou agree. The 2 sleep routine is working for now but in a few months they will be changing to one day sleep going down around 11-12 for 2+ hours generally - some babies don't do this. My 4 have all gone to one day sleep between 13-14 months.

FireOverBabylon · 25/02/2013 13:45

From what you've said OP, the cleaner woke DS up by shouting hello. What if she came at 10am and put her keys on the mantelpiece, or similar, so you know she's in the house, and just got on with working without saying hello. She could clean the bath or put a load of washing on without disturbing your son.

Could you take him out for his morning nap, in his pushchair, so she can hoover whilst you're out?

I can see why you're struggling with this, but you did agree to her turning up at any time; I'd have thought it'd be possible to work it out between you, with you taking DS out for noisy jobs, as it's only once a week, and her being quiet when she's in your home.

Original poster

PenelopeChipShop · 25/02/2013 15:08

She's only here for an hour so taking him out just for noisy stuff doesn't really work. I pay her for two hours nut she brings a friend and does it in half the time. Maybe I should just agree to this then but I think it's a bit cheeky given that I did let her choose the day only two weeks ago, and she's changing it again based on someone else's changed arrangements. If shvhascsetbtimes for other clients I don't see why I can't have one.

OP posts:

Original poster

PenelopeChipShop · 25/02/2013 15:11

That was meant to say ' if she has set times for other clients ' !

OP posts:

scaredbutexcited · 25/02/2013 15:12

YANBU. It is reasonable to agree something that suits you both and then reasonable to expect the other party to stick to it.

I would explain politely what you need and why and if this isn't going to work, get another cleaner.

BonaDea · 25/02/2013 15:18

YANBU - get a new cleaner.

maddening · 25/02/2013 15:24

Yanbu - you need certain hours - if she can't do it then she can't do it and find a cleaner who will do it.

She has a business - if she is not prepared to accommodate an easy request then she is likely to lose business.

dizzy77 · 25/02/2013 15:33

Whilst I was on ML I engaged in cleaner dodging. So I knew vaguely she'd be around for an hour by some point on a Thursday morning, so beyond the first few weeks I'd arrange my activities to be out of the house and possibly for lunch. DS would nap in the pushchair or car and I'd come back to a clean house.

alittletime2 · 25/02/2013 15:48

I think whether or not you are being unreasonable depends on how much you are paying her. She was doing the job on a flexible basis, so could fit in other work around yours. Now you want an exact time, which is a different set up, as she needs other work to fit around you so should be more expensive for you.

If you really need her at a set time and can't ask her to do it anytime on a morning when you are out, for example, then tell her it HAS to be that time. If she can't do it, get another cleaner.

But, as someone has said above, you are likely to want to change her time in the future. Yanbu to ask for a cleaner at a set time, but y would bu if you repeatedly change her times to when it is convenient for you to have her come in the future.

It's a hard way to make a living.

ByTheWay1 · 25/02/2013 15:52

You need to decide if it is worth losing a reliable cleaner that you know - and go through the hassle of finding another one, or just go with the flow one day a week. You can try to dictate the timing, but as that is not how the client-cleaner relationship was beforehand she may just walk...

adeucalione · 25/02/2013 15:53

I don't care what time my cleaner comes as long as she tells me - I hate her appearing unexpectedly so she texts me in the morning and then I go out for a couple of hours when she's due to arrive.

So I think she is being reasonable to offer you a guaranteed time of 10am (as opposed to turning up at any time) and I don't really understand why you can't work around that, but if you can't then you need to look elsewhere - ime you might struggle to find a decent cleaner with a free 11am slot, you have to take what you can get around here.

complexnumber · 25/02/2013 16:11

I don't really see the problem.

If you cannot arrive at a mutually agreeable time, then you both need to find different customers/cleaners.

(Unless there is a shortage of either one , in which case one part has to decide just how much they need the other.)

Original poster

PenelopeChipShop · 25/02/2013 16:41

Dizzy, for a long time I did exactly that, but now that I need to give ds three solid meals a day, which isn't exactly a quick task... It's that really that has changed things.

Am feeling a bit guilty now. I'm not really very good at AIBU threads! I think she just caught me at exactly the wrong time this morning. Turning up early announced and waking ds after such a struggle to get him off and 3 hours' sleep myself last night was just the last straw after months of her coming at, to be honest, inconvenient times. I just snapped and said I would really rather stick to what we agreed. Bt ds was screaming in myarms and I couldn't really concentrate on her reasons so maybe I should text later and say 10 is fine and find a regular thing to do on a Monday. Am just soooooooo tired.

OP posts:

TheDoctrineOfSciAndNatureClub · 25/02/2013 21:36

Poor you

Mumblepot26 · 25/02/2013 21:42

YANBU

MidniteScribbler · 25/02/2013 21:58

I think YABU. I think that risking losing a good cleaner that you can trust over a 1 hour difference is a bit like cutting off your nose to spite your face. It would be different if you wanted her at 2pm on Friday and she wanted to come at 11am on Tuesday. It's only one hour difference, and she is doing it with another person in a one hour slot, so hardly like it's ruining your entire day. And I can guarantee you that your childs routine will change constantly!!! Are you going to expect her to change times every fortnight to accommodate his changing routine?

Really, it's only one hour a fortnight that you may need to adjust your routine. Why not just put him in his chair and go for a walk on the mornings she comes? You both get out for some fresh air and she gets to get on and get the job done quickly and get out, leaving your house clean, quiet and empty for your return. Win win!

Speedos · 25/02/2013 22:06

My cleaner varies her time from week to week but always on a Friday afternoon. She is worth her weight in gold so I accommodate her even though sometimes it is inconvenient e.g arriving during school run time (we don't give cleaner keys so I have to be home to let her in).

If she is good I would try to be flexible as they are hard to find!

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