To think it is socially unacceptable to

[Nooneelseisallowedafergus]

Allow your young children to play in MY bedroom whilst playing at my house.

It happens every time I have other children around. One little girl even got out most of my shoes from my cupboard, brought them into the lounge, where i was chatting to her mum, and her mother didn't tell her off.

I had 3 toddlers playing in my bed yesterday!

If my ds1 was playing in another parent's room I would ask him to play elsewhere and if he kept gong back I would put him on the naughty step.

I can distinctly remember knowing it was v naughty to even go in another parent's bedroom whilst playing at friends houses as a child. Has this unwritten rule now disappeared, or do I have rude friends?

No, I agree, although if the door is open and the child of the house goes in first then i think it's OK - though if it weremy children doing it at someone else's house I'd try to stop them.
DS had a friend for tea recently and I left our door open as I knew they'd want to play in there and I didn't mind as for once I'd hoovered under the bed

If they're toddlers why arent you keeping a better eye on them.

I hae toddlers/pre-schoolers/school age over on playdates here [ I am a nanny] and all know that they are ONLY allowed in the DC's room upstairs and although they are left to play with minimum supervision I am aware where they are/what theyre up to and will go up and reprimand if needs be.

it is your house. if you dont want someone in a room you tell them and if they go in, you go get them out. did you tell the children not to go in your room? what did you do when the girl came in with your shoes?

Jusr shut the door, and if they attempt to go in say 'come on...out of the bedroom thanks!'

It's no biggy surely?

I don't mind children bouncing on the bed or making dens in my bedroom

I'd object to them getting my stuff out

It's up to the homeowner to set the boundaries with their own children, and with visitors. Did it not occur to you to be Very Firm with the toddler appearing in your shoes?

DH has a handwritten Keep Out sign on his room of doom glory hole rubbish dumpstudy.

Just tell them not to.

keep the door shut, tell them to stay out of your room.

That's my advice.

I think it's down to you to tell them really,you don't have to tell them off or anything just ask them to not go onto your room but they're welcome to go in x's room

No point sitting there stewing about it

just tell them not to go in there.

If you didn't say anything maybe the other mum thought it was OK?

You need to tell them they can't go in. I'm guessing your DC were in there as well? Even if they weren't just say to the other kids that they can't go in.

They are toddlers, they don't understand which rooms in your house are which.
My toddlers are not banned from my bedroom, they would find it odd that they were banned from certain rooms in our house, and therefore in any house.
My older children have better grasp on privacy issues.

Children explore when in new surroundings. I wouldn't be too annoyed but I would set the boundaries if it was bothering me. The children don't know it's wrong until they are told. Maybe next time they won't do it.

I actually really dislike when kids go into bedrooms of my house - or upstairs, especially toddlers. Ds (6) and his pals wreck the place. So I tell them to keep it to the playroom and their bedrooms. I lock our bedroom door- have learnt from past experience our wardrobe is a great hiding place for hide and go seek but it s no fun putting on a clean work shirt and finding fingerprints all over it. I lock spare room as we have a shelving unit and the velux is at kid height and they would open it (it s 3 stories up). So for their own safety too. But often I simply say to the other mum that I ve just made the beds, or that upstairs is a state and I d prefer if the kids don't play up there. When I visit I m aware if this too ad would always check with the hosts if it s ok if I see the kids heading for the stairs.

I agree with you but it is your house. Why on earth didn't you take control of the situation? I always tell kids going upstairs not to go in my room and then I police what happens and tell kids off if necessary. It is my house so I wouldn't expect my guests to set the rules about what is or isn't off limits.

You're the adult in charge,set the boundaries and tell them to stay out of your room imagine if they found a vibrator

They shouldn't be playing in your room and you aren't unreasonable to ask them to come out. We had this early on when a friends dc went in and had chucked jewellery in the shower, pendants off their chains, and earrings in the toilet! Since then I always make a point of shutting all doors except dc's room and stating 'you can play in dc's but STAY OUT of my room'.

Yanbu

Get one of those hook and eye type locks. Place.high.up door frame.

Are other parents bringing their toddlers to your bedroom? I'm confused.

i don't like peoples kids going in my bedroom so as soon as i catch whiff of anyone heading upstairs i shout something like" guys guys, everyone stay out of my bedroom and no bouncing on beds please" and shut my bedroom door.
you don't have to be dictatorial, just firm but kind like a teacher would be.

no I would hate it. don't even like my own dc in my bedroom (teenagers and they usually borrow/nick things.)

It would annoy me too, but I think the onus is on you to tell them where they can and can't play in your house. I have always made it clear to visiting children that some rooms are off limits, and have never had a problem.

If you didn't tell them not to, then presumably the other parents thought it was fine and didn't want to step on your toes in your own house?

I agree with you but also agree that it's your job to explain the limits of the house. If the toddlers are deliberately flouting those limits, and the parent also knows the limits but isn't doing anything about the flouting, then you should tell the child to cease and desist forthwith yourself.
If this occasions flouncing by the parent of said toddler, so be it.

I live in a town house so my bedroom is next to my lounge on the first floor and my kitchen and study are downstairs. So I tend to sit in the lounge with the other parent (s). My sons room is upstairs on the 2nd floor.

As they are all toddlers, I bring toys from my sons bedroom into the lounge before anyone arrives, so the children have lots of things to play with in the lounge, whilst parents are talking. I also always close my bedroom door (next to the lounge) and shut the stairgates to prevent the children from going upstairs or downstairs unaccompanied.

HOWEVER, on nearly every single 'playdate' without fail, my bedroom door gets opened by one of them, and in they all go, then the stairgates get opened and up they all run to my sons bedroom and me and the other parents are invariably left alone in the lounge!!!!

I usually get them all out of my room or back downstairs a couple of times, then as no one else backs me up, give up and retreat to my lounge with my cup of tea resigned to my entire house getting trashed by 3 year olds.

However, my son never goes upstairs when visiting other peoples houses the children all seem happy to stay on the lounge with the parents in every other bleeding house we go to!