To think it is socially unacceptable to

[Nooneelseisallowedafergus]

Allow your young children to play in MY bedroom whilst playing at my house.

It happens every time I have other children around. One little girl even got out most of my shoes from my cupboard, brought them into the lounge, where i was chatting to her mum, and her mother didn't tell her off.

I had 3 toddlers playing in my bed yesterday!

If my ds1 was playing in another parent's room I would ask him to play elsewhere and if he kept gong back I would put him on the naughty step.

I can distinctly remember knowing it was v naughty to even go in another parent's bedroom whilst playing at friends houses as a child. Has this unwritten rule now disappeared, or do I have rude friends?

I try not to be in the same room as the children if I have friends over. Maybe you could just send them up to your son's bedroom to play?

My own3 ds know not to play in my room, so why on earth haven't you told yours and their friends not to go into your room.
Weird

You need to take more of a stand, by the sound of it, Nooneelse. Or find some friends with more awareness!

Seriously though, just say to them "I'd rather not have any of the children in my bedroom please - could you ask your DC to stay out?" Be open! Be obvious!

put a hook on the top of the door frame, and an eye on the top of the door, then you can keep it closed when other children are around.

Anyone other than the people who live in this house is banned from upstairs.

Whenever we have visitors the second thing I say after hello is "Upstairs is out of bounds unless y0ou ask, MY room is forbidden"

So it's never really been an issue :)

just tell them to stay out of your room. Keep the kids downstairs if they can't stick to kids rooms.

It's your house, you make the rules.

And enforce them.

If you tell your own children that it is not allowed then it shouldn't be a problem. Mine had a much older brother-he wouldn't have been at all happy if small children went in his room! If your DCs can't stick to it then keep them where you can see them.

You cannot admit that you 'give up and retreat' then complain that you don't like the behaviour of a bunch of 3 year olds.

Either you are the adult and take control or else you can't be arsed to watch them and have to accept they will run amok if you don't control the situation.

If it is someone elses child only who has gone upstairs or in your room then you could always ask parent to retrieve them but in my house I always do it and likewise my friends do in their houses.

My kids have house rules and they tell their friends what they are when needs be.

'Lets go and play in your mums room' - 'Nope, we're not allowed'. Simple.

If your children are too young to do that then you need a physical barrier - a little slide lock thing up high near the top of the door?

Just say "No playing in the bedroom, thank you" in a kind but loud way, so that the parent knows and can help you enforce it.

Not everyone has the same rules and you can't expect other people to read your mind.

(I would agree with you about this rule, btw.)

I can't believe you're blaming the other Mums!

You need to take charge in your own house.

does the idea of supervising the children at play have no appeal at all? this isn't a play-date, its a 'run-riot' session. you set it up! you sit downstairs with adults and let children run around your house? you get what you deserve!

Every house has its own rules. How are they supposed to know it's not OK for you, if you are allowing your own child to go in and play? Why isn't your son sticking to your rules?

So clearly tell your own son (in front of them) - 'No, don't go in my bedroom. You know you aren't allowed in my bedroom.' Visiting mum will pick up the hint and follow suit.

1. Your house, your rules. You tell them not to.

1. Toddlers given the free rein of your house will do something you don't want them to. This might be bouncing on your bed, or it might be drawing on your walls .

1. It does seem to be the norm these days for kids to think they can do what they like in other people's houses, including go in parents' bedrooms. Not sure why. I don't remember having the run of my parents' bedroom, but my kids were allowed to come in ours fairly freely - maybe people don't have adult vs. child space so much now.

At a house party we had for DD when she was 6, while we were greeting guests at the front door 3 boys started trampolining on our bed. We locked our bedroom during parties after that!

There are limits in the house therefore, its fine to tell them not to go in there!

I always tell kids they can play anywhere in the house but my bedroom is out of bounds. Then if the door is firmly shut if they then do go in there they're in trouble.
My kids know this is the rule though so it usually works ok. Trash the whole house but leave my room alone!!!

By the way, that's only when we have visitors. My own kids come in and out of my room whenever. But they don't mess things up so that's fine

You need to say firmly which rooms are out of bounds. Also, make sure your children know which rooms guests don't go into (and that they should fetch you if they cannot rein in the visitors).

But it could be worse - they could have started a fashion parade in your best and raciest undies.

in my house no one goes upstairs where they cant be seen including my kids and visitors.

Their mum's didn't allow them, you did, by not saying anything.

I would be in there and shouting!

It's your house - your responsibility to state and/or enforce the rules of that house, especially if they are rules which vary between houses (like bedroom entry, climbing on a couch, etc.) Different if their kid got a giant crayon and was blundering towards a wall or something.

Shouldn't you be supervising toddlers??

I think it is up to you to tell the kids. I would.