To announce he's going out to watch rugby tomorrow isn't very nice

[1991all]

maybe he should ask

I've lost perspective here, but I don't think it's very caring or thoughtful

Yes, I came here to ask for opinions as to whether it was normal as I felt so confused by his attitude
The fact is I don't care if he's going out, I wasn't going to get involved in an argument about it, that would have been immature.

I do care that he seems to be taking the piss, expecting me to be here 24/7
I have been with ds 24/7 for 2 weeks now, he was sick, I was sick. Not much fun
I actually felt like he was trying to start a fight

I really think the issue is not about cheese or rugby watching, OP. Both of which seem minor but are clearly part of a far bigger issue.

Toby, have you really never been so baffled by a situation that you can no longer distinguish what's ok and what isn't? I have, and i think the op's there right now!

1991all, i suggest you report your post and ask mnhq to move the whole thread to relationships for advice rather than opinions :)

I'm a bit funny about cheese, I like to have loads of different types available just in case I want them. I don't care if it goes off tbh, I just cut the bad bits off. Cheese is already decayed before you start with it!

I could show your DH my fridge situation and suddenly yours would look a lot more organised.

I realise this thread has gone quiet but, just for the record, I fail to see why the OP is being 'immature' here.

I don't understand why the OP is being given a hard time over this.

I also don't see that in being irritated over this, and confused by the general situation, that she's being immature.

I'm also in awe of the number of posters who apparently never say anything other than what is a totally mature and adult response. What's your secret?

OP, that would have hacked me off, but DH would never have done it. He would be desperate to spend time with DS after 2 weeks away (although that's never happened - weekend away is longest). Sounds to me like you may not be in a great place in your relationship at the mo. Perhaps post on the relationship threads if you want some broader advice.

He did ask though he said, and I quote you, do we have any plans? I presume if you had said yes then he wouldn't have gone.

I also think OP is getting an unreasonably hard time.

I think saying 'do we have plans?' And then when answer is no just saying you're off out is subtly different to confirming that the OP doesn't mind being on her own on a Sunday with the DCs.

Creamtea your mate's husband has got her right where he wants her hasn't he?

To my mind, the person doing all the childcare/housework during the week should be the person who is more entitled to go out at the weekend, not the other way around. Rather than continuing their weekday work into the weekend.

Being the partner who goes to work and gets childcare sorted and housework done doesn't entitle someone to do whatever they like at weekends. That's not a partnership.

Oh, and OP, sounds like there's more to it, but you are right, either partner just announcing they are going out is inconsiderate.

OP your manner on here comes across as immature.

and to the poster who is in awe of others behaving in an adult and mature manner? well, that's sort of what adults do. or at least it's what they should do. behaving like a child puts you in a childish relationship. why would anyone want that?

and yes, this isn't about cheese or rugby. you two have a communication problem.

Oh fgs

Dorset, he didn't ask, he told me, how can you quote me?
He didn't say "do we have any plans" and I didn't say that

Booyhoo- please explain exactly where I have been immature, either with dh or here

i dont think you'd see it if i did TBH.

Well i think you should try Booyhoo because i am struggling to see how the OP is being immature here too. I think her reactions are perfectly understandable.

the whole posting style is immature. the sarky comments to posters, the coming to rant on MN instead of actually speaking to DH and telling him you'd rather he checked whether you had plans before making any himself and then being so pissed off that he continues to do the same thing again and again. the complete failure to accept or even acknowledge that DH alone is not responsible for the state of your relationship even when pointed out to you by lots of other posters.

i understand you came here for a rant, that's what AIBU generally is. but what it also is, is a public forum with real people and real opinions. those people are going to give you their honest opinion to what you post. i've done this. i think you come across as immature and dont seem to actually want to fix this problem in your relationship just whinge about it. fine, it's up to you what you do in your relationship but when people take the time to give you advice it grates a bit when they see you had no intention of solving the problem in the first place.

I don't think you're being immature but I do think your oh is being an arse. He announces he's having a day out, he complains about the cheese and then about your dad not booking his christmas present to your oh's schedule. It does sound like he was looking for a fight.
It also sounds like the tip of the iceberg. A thread on relationships might help you more than an AIBU.

OP he is clearly an arsehole, just leave him.

He sounds hard work to be honest. It's not about asking 'permission' it's about considering your partner if you've got kids. Also, the cheese thing is ridiculous.

If you'd enjoy life more without him, you know what to do!

OP from now on you watch that mozzarella like a HAWK. On the day it goes out of date, BIN IT at literally 12.01 am, make sure he has as small a window as humanly possible to eat it. Then point out to him how caring you are and look all pleased.

< is suddenly very very glad she is single...>

Relationships topic would def be better for this, OP.

From what you have said, he sounds like an entitled arse spoiling for a fight, and you sound confused, fed up and belittled. Not immature, just seeking some validation that your feelings in response to his behaviour are normal, and they are, YANBU!!

Booyhoo I think you are probably a lucky women who has never experienced the grinding awfulness of being with someone who is EA, it's very easy to lose sight of what is normal and to find your emotional intelligence defeated. I think the OP is in this situation and is trying to find some support.