To announce he's going out to watch rugby tomorrow isn't very nice

[1991all]

maybe he should ask

I've lost perspective here, but I don't think it's very caring or thoughtful

I think op needs to put us out of our misery before we all typonourselves to death

When you say ask do you mean ask permission to go or ask out of politeness whether or not you have plans or whether it's convenient for you etc?

Blooby sausage fingers

Depends how it's done, really.

"Sweetheart, some of the lads are meeting at the pub to watch the match later. Thought i might join them, unless you've got a better idea?"

Would have me responding

"Have fun, darling"

"Right I'm off to the pub, don't wait up"

Would elicit

"Oi, what the fuck?!"

agree jamie and pidjin

Exactly Purple, if we were altogether on the weekend and DP suddenly got up, put his shoes on and said 'Right Im going out to the rugby.' Id be and pissed off.

If he'd mentioned it before hand, the night before or something then no problem, I can arrange to do something just me and the kids, or he could take one or both of the kids.

Its curtious to disuss these things. Its a bit harsh to upsticks and leave with no prior warning.

I would expect my dh to run it by me if he was planning on going out-as I do with him. I make sure I get him to put my nights out in his diary though as I know he never bloody listens to a word I say

It would be weird for my DH just to get up and say 'I'm going out to watch the rugby'.... I mean, he's at the rugby now but he told me about last week, I think it's fine to say he's going out tomorrow... Unless you have already made plans or something!

OP? hello? anyone there?

He is dh
Yes we have a ds

He just came in and told me

Not "do we have any plans?"
Not "would you mind?"

No discussion, done deal

Tbh, im glad he's going out, but I'm just annoyed with the way he did it, he just seems to do what he wants

If I wanted to go out for lunch, or even do something by myself for half an hour, then it would take a lot of organisation--for him to look after his son

DH probably would say "I'm off to do this tomorrow" but would then follow that with "as long as that's OK with you"....so I guess that's different.

It would be more likely to be me going to watch the rugby though....I'm watching it now and he's not interested

so OP you start 'announcing' things too. if it's ok for him to do it;s ok for you to do. just plan to do stuff and dont tell him til the day before, let him organise ds.

You just need to do it OP.

Tell him you're going out. Not tomorrow, he's already bagsied it.

But why on earth should it be a lot of organisation for him to look after his own son? He needs to get used to it and you need to facilitate that.

Then hibu and, depending on how old ds is, i would do the same to him tomorrow. Shoes on and walk round the block for 10 minutes, or shopping/coffee with a newspaper/gym for longer.

Ds is 3mo and ebf (feels like hourly ) and dp can entertain him for half an hour while i soak in the bath if we time it right. It's good for their relationship!

OP YANBU.

Ah, fuck him
Just had big row about the cheese that's gone off in the fridge
I've been at my mums all week, apparently I should have known.
Think he wanted me to eat everything before I went
Its mozzarella, he eats it, not me
How I an supposed to be responsible for eating his cheese when I'm not fucking here, I don't know

And he's too hot
FFS

And he's annoyed that my dad hasn't booked in the whisky tour that he bought him for Xmas
Yes, buy someone a nice Xmas present and then bug them to book it

He rowed with you over cheese - did it attack him when he opened the fridge door or something??? Did he find it in his suit pocket???

Can you think of 5 really good things about him, just off the top of your head?

Nope
Cant think of one thing actually

There's more to this than rugby and cheese isn't there.

Am failing to understand why gone off cheese can't be binned...

I'm with the 'running by yes, asking no' crowd

Not sure I understand people bristling at the idea of asking. I mean, is it not just common courtesy? The inference is, of course, that someone is expected to stay behind and mind the children. Or, perhaps there are other plans which have been forgotten, so you phrase potential plans in the form of a question.

DH and I regularly say "oh there's XYZ happening on Tuesday, is that alright?" or whatever. Neither of us is controlling, but also, neither of us is prepared to leave the 4 yr old in charge of the house, either. :)

Anyway, OP, yes it does sound as if something else is wrong. :( I'm sorry.

Seriously
I can't believe the nonsense row
But he couldn't see it
The mozzarella was 2 days over, not like it was green

I've been away since Sunday, apparently, as I knew I would be away I either shouldn't have bought the cheese, or told him when to eat it

you both sound immature.

would it have been very difficult for him to remove the cheese from the fridge and bin it?

why are you with him? (not allowed to say the baby)