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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that if a train seat has a ticket saying "reserved" on it...

140 replies

CalamityKate · 23/02/2013 15:28

.... that's a huge clue that someone's reserved it?

Two trips to London in the past 2 days and for 3 of the four journeys we booked seats.

On all 3 occasions, someone was sitting in the seats.

And you know, I wouldn't mind so much but on all 3 occasions the people in the seats rolled their eyes, tutted, huffed and puffed and made a great show of having to move seats in a way that made it clear that WE were being incredibly unreasonable to expect to sit in the seats WE had paid for!

One woman in particular was very put out and spent the remainder of the journey casting dirty looks our way. Her and her companion had clearly been in the seats for a while, since the table was covered with litter. There were plenty of unreserved seats nearby.

Honestly, I started to wonder if there's some sort of etiquette I don't know about. Like "If you don't manage to sit in your seat before someone else then tough shit" or something?

OP posts:
Tee2072 · 23/02/2013 15:30

They sound rude. And entitled. And stupid, actually!

Stand your ground! Take your seat.

Grin
Mynewmoniker · 23/02/2013 15:31

I felt the same a few years ago when travelling south to north for hours. Booked seats as I had two little ones I couldn't be parted from and the BSTDS had thrown the reserved tickets on the floor and sat down. I got the inspector and they moved them.

phantomnamechanger · 23/02/2013 15:32

Maybe they didnt bother reading the start and end point of the reservation, and assumed it was a "used" card?? but thats no excuse for them being rude - you could always ask train staff to deal with it if they get shirty

HoHoHoNoYouDont · 23/02/2013 15:32

I know exactly what you mean, this has happened to me on so many occasions. I don't hold back claiming my seat either and take great pleasure in turfing them out. Let them huff and puff, they should have reserved their own seats!

Hassled · 23/02/2013 15:33

This bothers me as well - fair enough to take a reserved seat if the train has left the station it was reserved from and there's no sign of the passenger, but don't get on board in London, see a seat reserved for someone else from London and then sit in it. Madness. I've had to evict people many, many times and it never goes down well. There's always sighing and tutting.

PheasantPlucker · 23/02/2013 15:33

I had this on the train from Birmingham to London on Tues - the woman got quite shirty. Then asked why, as there were other unoccupied seats, we couldn't sit in those? I stuck to my guns, and she did move. (I'd reserved 2 seats, one for my daughter, one for me, by the window, with a table so dd could get her stuff out and draw/read a book etc)

We got huffs and puffs and more dirty looks from her when she got off. The other guy at the table gave me a grin, and explained 'the train booking system' to her, which was nice of him. Daughter just looked bemused.

freddiemisagreatshag · 23/02/2013 15:35

What Tee said

MrsCampbellBlack · 23/02/2013 15:35

Its tiresome - people do it all the time in the cinema as well with the VIP seats.

And as you say if they just smiled and moved then its fine but its the eye rolling as though I'm being precious which irritates.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 23/02/2013 15:37

Watch the eye rolling etc. as it is sometimes a ruse to get you to let them stay there while you take another seat- which turns out to be a crap one. This has happened to me twice. Once, on a plane, we found out too late a couple had deliberately sat in our seats at there was a better view of the film screen.

I always claim my own seat now, even if there are others available.

starsandunicorns · 23/02/2013 15:38

My dd2 (15) travels by train to vist me and we buy her tickets and always revserve them many a time she says people are rude when asked to move.

One time a middle aged man refused to move she stood next to seat till the ticket person came round and showed her ticket. The person sitting in her seat quickley moved and was made to say sorry to her by the ticket man.

Original poster
CalamityKate · 23/02/2013 15:39

God it's more common than I thought!

What goes through their heads? How do they justify it?

I'm imagining them moaning to a friend when they get home, or posting on here..... "God you won't believe what happened to me today.... I was sitting on the train and someone came along saying they'd reserved the seat. Well it turns out they HAD reserved the seat but even though I was sitting in it, they expected me to move! Can you believe it?"

OP posts:
JamieandtheMagicTorch · 23/02/2013 15:40

Stars

Good on your dd and the train staff.

yellowsheep · 23/02/2013 15:40

We had this problem all the time when my brother was due back to his home after the holdays he lived in a special care home for adults with servere ld the home would block book seats usually about. 12 with tables..... The train would pull in there would be q mad rush to get on it then we would spend 5 minutes arguing with whoever had sat in the reserved seats to get them all settled and US off the train before it pulled out..... One guy refused to move from the seat so my brother abs his Pals just sat at the table anyway I am sure the guy loved the 5 hour journey with my brother repeating the same questions over and over again and telling him about what he had been up to over the holidays...... The guards are either fantastic or don't give a toss

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 23/02/2013 15:42

Calamity

They probably know in their sad little hearts that they are being unreasonable. As I said, many know they are but will try it on anyway, thinking that if they intimidate they will win. Do not let them!

They are in the minority though.

DeepPurple · 23/02/2013 15:42

I got on a train to find someone in my reserved seat. It was a very early morning train and we were the only people in the carriage but I thought it might get busy so I asked him to move and proudly sat in my reserved seat. We were the only two in the carriage the whole 2 hour journey Blush

frogspoon · 23/02/2013 15:43

I used to travel a lot by train, and often half the reserved seats were empty. In particular the non table seats were left as the person found an unreserved table seat they preferred (or they boarded the wrong end of the train and didn't want to walk all the way to their seat).

I will sit in a reserved seat if there are no nearby unreserved seats, but will be very apologetic and move immediately if the person does actually appear. Refusing to move, or moving but making a fuss/ rolling eyes is just plain rude.

starsandunicorns · 23/02/2013 15:45

Jamie she always nice to them that time it was xmas eve morning and train was every full. Shes getting good at traveling by her self now.( so far only got lost once) She even practices her do you mean to be so rude answer.

OptimisticPessimist · 23/02/2013 15:46

This has happened to me a few times. I always buy 4 tickets seated at a table, even though some of the children are under 5, so to add to the huffing and puffing and rolling of eyes I usually get a "what, all four of them?!" thrown in for good measure. A couple of times as well they've had what look like reservations for the same seats but it's turned out that they're on the wrong train Hmm

BanjoPlayingTiger · 23/02/2013 15:47

I will sit in reserved seats if there are no others available but in the knowledge that I may be asked to move. I will move without fuss and as quickly as possible if asked. I don't get the tutting that people do - if you're in someone else's seat you move.

SarahBumBarer · 23/02/2013 15:48

I think that is pretty unusual for the train staff. Usually they will not get involved in disputes over reserved seats.

I also find it more common that people do not take up their seats. Bloody annoying when the train is busy and then people sit in other seats and polite people (like me :-) ) are concerned about sitting in the reserved ones.

Also sometimes it can be a little confusing if the seats are booked multiple times on different legs of the journey. Especially on the longer route someone could easily not realise that their portion of a journey overlaps with a booking.

FWIW I would NEVER ask someone to move out of a seat that I had reserved if there were other seats nearby.

So on balance - YANBPU (P= particularly)

Pagwatch · 23/02/2013 15:49

Ds1 had this when we booked him a seat in first class to head back to uni. The carriage was full and the woman said 'can't you just stand?' presumably because he is a fit 19 year old - its a 3 1/2 hour journey Hmm
He persisted. She refused. He grabbed the guard. She didn't even have a first class ticket. Cheeky cow.

The irony is he is lovely - if she had been nice he never would have pushed it because he would have felt bad, he would have just found another seat anywhere.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 23/02/2013 15:49

Stars

Thats brilliant.mi think teaching your DC sto be assertiveness is soooooooo important. I didn't learn until well into adulthood

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 23/02/2013 15:49

Terrible ipad writing......l

TeaOneSugar · 23/02/2013 15:51

I turf them out, don't care how big they are, how much they grumble, it's my seat and they can shift.

Polite but firm.

Cassarick · 23/02/2013 15:52

So banjo and frogspoon - YOU are the people who make my heart thump and think "oh now, here we go again - I hope there's not going to be trouble". Selfish.