To think that Esther Rantzen justifying her affair with a married father of three

[Fleecyslippers]

Is pathetic and self serving and nauseating. I hadn't realised her marriage started as an affair.

I dislike her even more now.

[DreamsTurnToGoldDust]

Fut that's absolute rubbish, MOST second marriages, where are you getting that from!

[Viviennemary]

I don't care that much about people having affairs. If they want to be cheats then that's their business. But I do object to people like Esther Rantzen behaving badly but getting on a soap box and telling other people what is wrong in their lives. And I hardly think her behaviour in the Jimmy Saville affair was what should have been expected from the pioneer of Childline. Total and absolute fake hypocrite.

[Fleecyslippers]

Fortheloveofbob- you seriously have an issue with people having MORALS? (hmm)

[MamaMumra]

Who's being horrible bob ?

[FutTheShuckUp]

Where did I say most Dreams?

[DreamsTurnToGoldDust]

Apologies, you said many.

[FutTheShuckUp]

no worries

[ifancyashandy]

My ex long term DP (together 12 years before I'm accused of not really understanding due to lack of a wedding ring) had an affair with someone we knew. 10 years on and I'm able to see that these things happen. Yes, it hurt like hell at the time and for a very long time after. But it doesn't make with of the people amoral, bad or evil.

Just flawed. Like the rest of us.

[onedev]

I completely agree with Viviennemart.

[onedev]

Viviennemary obviously - sorry!

[swallowedAfly]

ifancy - but you didn't have children together i take it? lots of people have had to go through the hell of infidelity and their parents putting shagging over and above their happiness and stability and the kind of hurt and mayhem it causes as children. lots of others have seen the hurt and mayhem caused to friends or relatives with children whose partners have had affairs. in families it's a lot more complex than your partner cheating on you - the ripples are bigger.

[janey68]

Never liked the woman. Always seemed to be poking her beak in and shit stirring, yet failing to respond to real abuse when it was staring her in the face

[ifancyashandy]

But no less devastating...

[WhatsTheBuzz]

I reckon most people who think along the lines 'sometimes these things happen' or are actually trying to justify having an affair themselves would not be so forgiving if their husbands/partners were playing away. There is never a good reason to do that to your other half, let alone any children involved. It may not be evil but it's obviously very, very wrong.

[WhatsTheBuzz]

*in a non-violent relationship.

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

"Few people are like Esther Rantzen and set themselves up as champions of all that is right and good and paint a persona of being beyond reproach."

YABU She's never made herself out to be a saint. She's spearheaded a lot of good work in her life but that's not the same thing at all. People have affairs. Human beings are fallible. Grow up.

[LittleEdie]

People on here are often very sanctimonious about affairs.

So if you've done something that's not right you should hide away in shame?

You should only do charity work if you've lived an unblemished life?

[ImperialBlether]

I don't think it's that, LittleEdie. It was the way she said on tv that for 8-9 years she was having an affair with Desmond Wilcox and at the same time visiting their family home and spending time with his wife and children, who clearly were clueless. She said, "Oh I felt so bad" but personally I thought it was disgraceful that a) she did it and b) talked about it on tv.

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

Being an OW is the last taboo and exposes very misogynistic double-standards. A man confessing to have had a long term affair wouldn't get anything like this kind of hate-fest, especially if he was single. Would be written up as a 'ladies man' and probably patted on the back.

[swallowedAfly]

nah cogito - pretending to be friends with a woman, being invited into her home and shagging her husband and then continuing to be 'friends' with her and visiting her home and children whilst continuing to shag her husband for 8 years shows some very misogynistic double standards.

[swallowedAfly]

it doesn't get more misogynistic than to fuck someone's husband behind their back whilst smiling to their face for years. you have to truly think men are everything and women not worthy of any respect, concern or loyalty to behave that way.

[babyfirefly1980]

I agree swallowedafly...that is truly cold behaviour. They both could have told his ex wife the truth way before they did, to carry on for years behind her back shows a callousness not alot of us have.

Actually cogito I would feel as disgusted by a man doing the same as ER. I would certainly not pat him on the back.

[Megatron]

The affair thing is less of an issue for me. NOT saying that it's right by any means but we all do stupid things sometimes.

My issue is the deceit and lies and offering friendship to someone whilst shagging their husband. My ex had an affair with my cousin. I was heartbroken about the affair but totally devastated by their dishonesty and the fact that I'd been made a total fool out of. She would stay with us and sit drinking wine with me chatting for hours. Then they would fuck like rabbits while I was on the shower etc. I don't think I'll ever really get over that side of it, even though it was years ago.

[flippinada]

I would agree that having an affair is not nice behaviour and a pretty awful thing to do.

But he's the one who was married with children, not her.

[flippinada]

Megatron that's awful. I think in some ways that the betrayal of friendship and the deceit is the worst aspect of it.