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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my 'friend' should not call me a cow? Or am I being silly?

52 replies

lovetomoan · 22/02/2013 13:54

Meet friend and we both have babies. She FF and I EBF, she said I am a cow because I EBF. I just smiled and said: well, I have always been a cow (tried to make it like a joke and not a big deal).

Then we went for lunch and my baby was hungry, so I proceeded to BF in the restaurant.
She said I should cover myself. I said no, my baby needs to eat.

She said other people might not like to see me BF. I said BF is natural (she was getting on my nerves by that point).

She said even if it's natural, some people do not like to see it (I think she did not want to see me BF). I said, well, then those people can sod off Blush

Should I still see said friend? I don't really care about what people feed their babies and keep my opinions to myself but I am thinking, maybe this is the time to drop a friend.

She also gave her baby a slice of lime (to see the face baby makes when tasting it) and chilly sauce. I kept my mouth shout even when I think you do not do that to a 9 month old baby.

OP posts:
SPBInDisguise · 22/02/2013 13:55

In what way did she call you a cow? You need. New friends!

Sirzy · 22/02/2013 13:56

She was being daft.

But at 9 months DS loved sucking on lime and lemon!

Original poster
lovetomoan · 22/02/2013 13:56

She said I am a cow because I breastfed, she mentioned the size of my breasts.

OP posts:
Whocansay · 22/02/2013 13:57

Drop her like a stone. She may or may not have 'issues', but she has no business transferring them to you.

Pilfette · 22/02/2013 13:57

I'm not clear. As cow as in sort of "you daft cow" (I'd probably say daft mare) or a cow because you are EBF therefore lactating therefore producing milk all the time. Because it seems like the latter and that's rude IMO. Also feeding a baby lime slices and chilli sauce to see the face they make - WTAF?

Pilfette · 22/02/2013 13:58

Erk - x post

EllenParsons · 22/02/2013 13:58

She is bloody rude! I would have been upset by the comments. Yanbu

Whocansay · 22/02/2013 13:58

I actually think you handled it really well.

Catsdontcare · 22/02/2013 14:00

Next time say "for someone who doesn't like breast feeding you sure enjoy getting on my tits"

GlitterySkulls · 22/02/2013 14:01

next time she starts, smile sweetly and say "i'd rather be a cow than an ignorant bitch". then drop her.

IncognitoIsMyFavouriteWord · 22/02/2013 14:02

Hell fire she commented on the size of your breasts too.

She isn't a friend at all

GlitterySkulls · 22/02/2013 14:02

Catsdontcare - excellent! Grin

catgirl1976 · 22/02/2013 14:05

She sounds charming Hmm

I'd distance myself if I were you

Dawndonna · 22/02/2013 14:07

I was in Costa with my 28 year old ds the other day, a woman behind us was breastfeeding her son. We just thought it looked cute. Some people are very odd.

Herrena · 22/02/2013 14:09

I'm glad you insisting on BFing and ignoring her rudeness.

Is there any chance that she is sensitive about the fact she doesn't BF and that she is trying to make you feel crap in order to make herself feel better? Not that I am in any way excusing her conduct but it might explain things.

In any case, distance yourself and find nicer friends!

Herrena · 22/02/2013 14:10

I'm glad you insisted, that is!

MarilynValentine · 22/02/2013 14:12

She obviously has issues about breast feeding. Maybe she has some misgivings about the feeding choice she made?

Either way, who cares. She was rude and abrasive, and dumb about the 'cover yourself up' stuff. Drop her. She sounds a nightmare.

SoleSource · 22/02/2013 14:12

Cut her out of your ife. The cheeky cow!!

Honesty this won't get better. Life too short and do not feel guilty. Just get rid.

Bibs123 · 22/02/2013 14:15

Sometimes I wonder if theses posts are planted to provoke discussion...

hellsbellsmelons · 22/02/2013 14:18

Well, to be honest, if I'm in a nice restaurant eating, I don't really want see someone breast feeding. But I know it's necessary and I certainly wouldn't comment, especially to a friend.
I'd probably only comment on the size of boobs because I'd be jealous as hell!!
If you get on well otherwise then there's no reason to drop her.
We all have different opinions and like and dislike different things. Good grief the world be a dull place if everyone was the same and life would be dull if we surrounded ourselves only with people who agreed with everything we said and did.
The name calling is very unnecessary though!

FrequentFlyerRandomDent · 22/02/2013 14:20

Yanbu.

All mammals breast feed. I used to imagine I was a tiger mum with her tiger cub. Actually I still do!

My guess is that she may have stopped for exactly the reasons she cited for you not to feed. You are invalidating her by your different choices.

I would speak openly and simply to her if you do like her. Babies are not babies for long, so differences in milk, etc will soon disappear.

If you do not like her company or do not share her parenting values (and it is a dal breaker for you), cut some distance.

FryOneFatManic · 22/02/2013 14:27

hellsbellsmelons If you were in a restaurant and I was breast feeding the chances are high you would not have known I was doing so. I got to be very good (and I'm not the only one, far, far from it) able to feed discreetly.

OP, you friend sounds cruel to her baby, feeding it with lime and chili sauce. Perhaps next time you can remind her breast feeding in public is legal.

GloriaPritchett · 22/02/2013 14:30

Just the cow comment and maybe I would have said it was a joke. But in combination with everything else? She's not a friend.

NopeStillNothing · 22/02/2013 14:30

Bibs123 that was my inkling Hmm

ruledbyheart · 22/02/2013 15:39

Catsdontcare great response Grin

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