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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my 'friend' should not call me a cow? Or am I being silly?

52 replies

lovetomoan · 22/02/2013 13:54

Meet friend and we both have babies. She FF and I EBF, she said I am a cow because I EBF. I just smiled and said: well, I have always been a cow (tried to make it like a joke and not a big deal).

Then we went for lunch and my baby was hungry, so I proceeded to BF in the restaurant.
She said I should cover myself. I said no, my baby needs to eat.

She said other people might not like to see me BF. I said BF is natural (she was getting on my nerves by that point).

She said even if it's natural, some people do not like to see it (I think she did not want to see me BF). I said, well, then those people can sod off Blush

Should I still see said friend? I don't really care about what people feed their babies and keep my opinions to myself but I am thinking, maybe this is the time to drop a friend.

She also gave her baby a slice of lime (to see the face baby makes when tasting it) and chilly sauce. I kept my mouth shout even when I think you do not do that to a 9 month old baby.

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 22/02/2013 15:48

Well I am assuming you are all very good at doing it discreetly as I honestly couldn't tell you the last time I saw someone breast feeding anywhere!!!
I don't think any 'normal' person would be horrified by it anyway.

Crinkle77 · 22/02/2013 15:49

She sounds like the cow. It's one thing giving a baby a slice of lime but chilli sauce is something else? That is cruel cos it is painful

WorraLiberty · 22/02/2013 15:52

I'm not sure why you have to ask really.

She's your friend so drop her or keep her, it's up to you.

Wewereherefirst · 22/02/2013 15:53

She sounds like an idiot tbh, I would distance myself but first I would put my DS in this: Lactivist Tee

thebody · 22/02/2013 15:54

Unless someone is really staring I can't see how anyone ever sees any boob during discreet bf. it's crap.

Drop your friend like a stone op she sounds a cruel bitch.

GregBishopsBottomBitch · 22/02/2013 16:02

YANBU, If you wanna breastfeed then do so, no one has the right to judge, and it narrow minded twunts, who put some women off.

I heard someone say that mums should go to the toilets and breastfeed, my argument "You wouldnt eat in the toilets, so why should a baby".

Sallyingforth · 22/02/2013 16:04

Sack her as a friend and mooove on!

Mintberry · 22/02/2013 17:12

Jokingly being called a cow I wouldn't have minded (some people do that all the time), but I would about her being all judgmental about your BF in public.

Is it that she doesn't want to BF, or can't? Maybe she's not herself because it's a touchy issue for her, if the latter. I'd cut her some slack in that case, but not if she's just judging you because you haven't made the same choice as her.

somewhereaclockisticking · 22/02/2013 19:01

Not sure I believe this post is actually real - she gave her baby a lime and chilli sauce to see her baby's face????? If this post is real then she's immature to treat her baby in such a way but as for the BF in public, she's probably just embarrassed and worried it might be one of those establishments that get all uppity about women who bf.

fluckered · 22/02/2013 19:05

yabu. she sounds like a wonderful friend and you would be a complete wagon to not stay friends with her.

Hmm what is the point of these threads when there is an obvious lack of AIBUness!

JeeanieYuss · 22/02/2013 19:30

Bibs123 and NopeStillNothing I concur!

flangledoodle · 22/02/2013 19:40

Does associating with this person enhance your life. Is her friendship a positive or negative influence on it. Does seeing her make you feel better or worse about yourself?? If she is not a force for good dump her.

bbface · 22/02/2013 19:45

I forgot the entire gist of your thread when I read the last sentence.

For that alone, I would never ever want to see that woman again.

Ha ha ha look at my baby in discomfort. Horrendous.

bbface · 22/02/2013 19:47

Oh yes, and fluckered I completely agree. There has been a flurry of AIBU threads, which are so shockingly NOT BU that it does lead me to think that the posters are hugely exaggerating or just being daft. This one being a case in point actually,.

ChairmanWow · 22/02/2013 19:51

You don't sound that arsed about her. You don't need anyone on here to tell you.

Internationaltraveller · 22/02/2013 20:09

I don't think it's that big of a deal. maybe just a bad joke. What is wrong with a shawl? not saying you need to be embarrassed but I think the size of my nipples while BFing was not something my BF wanted to look at and she did used to turn away - but she didn't have a baby herself so was perhaps a bit more squeamish?

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 22/02/2013 22:01

I think her comments are very unkind and I wouldn't want to be her friend. Giving 9 month old baby small amounts of unusual flavours is fine though.

Original poster
lovetomoan · 22/02/2013 22:02

The fact that some of you thought this is not real, makes me realise I need new friends Sad

I usually give people the benefit of the doubt, that's why I kept my mouth shut when she gave her baby a slice of lime and chilly sauce. And yes, she said it was because she wanted to see 'the look on her face'.

I hate to admit it, but sometimes 'friends' have been rude to me and I usually just brush it off.

The responses I got here just made me think how stupid I have been all this time.

OP posts:
ThreeWheelsGood · 22/02/2013 22:14

Don't feel stupid op - it's tough, especially when you have a baby, to keep sociable and sometimes you just want adult company. She definitely sounds toxic though - I think she has issues with her feeding choices and is taking it out in you by bring a bully.

BridgetBidet · 22/02/2013 22:28

Chilli is dangerous for babies. There was a case recently in the US where a girl gave her boyfriends child chilli as a punishment and she died because it makes their airways close up.

If it was me I would be tempted to stay friends just to keep an eye on her kid..

gimmecakeandcandy · 22/02/2013 23:21

Well she is a cunt with a big massive chip on her shoulder who gives ff mums a bad name with her pathetic attitude.

Dump her. She's a twat.

mylittlepuds · 23/02/2013 00:52

People criticise out of insecurity usually

LadyBeagleEyes · 23/02/2013 01:00

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

MyHeadWasInTheSandNowNot · 23/02/2013 01:06

Unbelievable. Truely.

BartletForTeamGB · 23/02/2013 09:49

"Chilli is dangerous for babies. There was a case recently in the US where a girl gave her boyfriends child chilli as a punishment and she died because it makes their airways close up."

Chilli isn't dangerous for babies in normal doses. DS has had chilli in curry from 6 months. Giving a toddler a spoonful of chilli powder is clearly very different.