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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my sister has got a flipping nerve (warning trivial).

61 replies

Lambzig · 22/02/2013 10:59

It is my DF's birthday today. He is nightmare to buy for so I sent him some lovely posh wine and cheese from an artisan shop to be delivered this morning. I had not discussed this with my sister at all.

I just called him to say happy birthday and he thanked me for the card. I said "didn't you get my present" and he said no. I explained that I had sent it from x shop and what I had sent and he said "oh no, I have that, it came without a label, but I spoke to your sister an hour ago and she said it was from her."

I said it was definitely from us and he said he was confused as my sister had also sent him a book, but when he spoke to her she said the wine and cheese was from her as an extra present.

I didnt want to upset him so left it, just stating that it was from me.

I called her immediately and she said as DF said it hadn't got a label on it, she thought she would claim it. She thinks its funny that he now thinks it is a joint present. I am really not amused.

OP posts:
lisad123everybodydancenow · 22/02/2013 11:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Teeb · 22/02/2013 11:03

That's a really shitty attitude your sister has there. Has she always been like this?

Ruprekt · 22/02/2013 11:05

Omg! I would be fuming! What a cow!

But why was there no label and why did he spk to your sister before speaking to you?

SuzySheepSmellsNice · 22/02/2013 11:05

What a cow!

SarkyPants · 22/02/2013 11:06

You can't make people behave in the way that you'd like.

But it helps to know that they are selfish fuckers so that you can treat them accordingly in the future. :(

SauvignonBlanche · 22/02/2013 11:07

What a cheek!

EllenParsons · 22/02/2013 11:07

Whoa your sis sounds lovely! Hmm

GregBishopsBottomBitch · 22/02/2013 11:07

what a cheeky bitch!!!!!!!!!!

ShyWombat · 22/02/2013 11:09

If she's taking a share of the credit, surely she owes you a share of the cost? (Bet she suddenly back tracks if you mention that!)

Antipag · 22/02/2013 11:09

What a bitch.

thebody · 22/02/2013 11:09

Call the shop and tell them you arnt happy and they need to re send the written card as proof it's from just you.

Call your sister and tell her to explain to your dad the gift was from you.

Not funny at all just a stupid thing for her to do and nasty.

mmmuffins · 22/02/2013 11:10

Shock Unreal.

Lollybrolly · 22/02/2013 11:11

OMg - your sister really has some nerve!

Cheeky bint! I would be livid.

Quite a horrid thing to do - that gift could have been from anyone aside yourself, so I wouldnt take it personally, but yes be disgusted with her selfish grabby attitude.

Snazzynewyear · 22/02/2013 11:11

That's not very funny and now she knows it was from you, she ought to tell him the truth - although since it would make her look bad, I am guessing she won't want to. Not nice. What are you going to do?

HecateWhoopass · 22/02/2013 11:12

Why does he still think it was a joint present? Did you not make it clear that you paid for the whole thing and it was NOT a joint gift, but a gift from you and you alone?

If not - and it is bothering you - just call him back and make it clear.

Then call your sister and tell her that's what you've done and if she now feels embarrassed or ridiculous - that's what she deserves for being so stupid.

Lollybrolly · 22/02/2013 11:12

Infact as she finds it so amusing that your DF thinks it is a joint gift I would call her back and ask her for 50% of the cost.

Original poster
Lambzig · 22/02/2013 11:13

I asked her to phone DG and she refused, she said I was being petty about a trivial issue and she was too busy to call.

She is not normally like this and is much more wealthy than me (works in the city) so normally gives him very expensive gifts (last year was an ipad), so I dont know why she is being like this.

He spoke to her first because she called him to say happy birthday before I did and he asked her as he had an unlabelled gift.

I had asked for gift message and wrote one on my order so not sure if Dad missed it or they forgot to put it in. have used them before and they are very reliable.

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 22/02/2013 11:15

But why was there no label and why did he spk to your sister before speaking to you? Because he has 2 daughters and didnt know that there was an MN hierarchy? Hmm

Crinkle77 · 22/02/2013 11:15

Make sure you get half the money off her then

UsedToBeAPixie · 22/02/2013 11:16

Wow! I'm with wombat on this - bill her for half (or all if she wants to take all the credit!).

I've stopped buying joint presents with my sister as she never pays me back and I always feel guilty asking for the cash back when she's got so little spare cash - and then I get cross with myself Hmm
Siblings eh?!

Original poster
Lambzig · 22/02/2013 11:16

sorry DF not DG.

I didn't push it on the phone as he was getting embarassed that he had caused trouble between me and DSis and I dont want to upset him on his birthday. He was obviously prefering to think there was some confusion and although i said "it was from us (DH and DCs as well), I didnt even mention it to DSis", he sort of fudged over it.

OP posts:
HecateWhoopass · 22/02/2013 11:16

So call him yourself.

You're obviously pissed off about this and there's actually nothing wrong with calling him and saying, look, I put thought and effort into your gift and I am actually annoyed that my sister is trying to claim it. It's not true. It was from me and not her and not joint and I'm sorry that she lied to you.

There's no reason why you should in any way protect her from feeling stupid or embarrassed. She chose to lie. She chose to dismiss how you feel about that and call it trivial. She created this situation and if you want to make it clear to your dad - there's actually nothing she can do about that.

SW1XMother · 22/02/2013 11:16

How cheeky. Tell her you want 50% of the cost or show your father proof of payment e.g that you paid for it not she.

GregBishopsBottomBitch · 22/02/2013 11:17

Lamb Call her back and demand a share for the gift, or she calls and explains, or you will and make her sound really bad, dont let her get away with such cheeky behaviour, or it'll give her writ to do it again.

HecateWhoopass · 22/02/2013 11:17

Xpost. Well, he knows then. Maybe just make it clear to your sister that you put him straight.

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