Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To think my sister has got a flipping nerve (warning trivial).

61 replies

Lambzig · 22/02/2013 10:59

It is my DF's birthday today. He is nightmare to buy for so I sent him some lovely posh wine and cheese from an artisan shop to be delivered this morning. I had not discussed this with my sister at all.

I just called him to say happy birthday and he thanked me for the card. I said "didn't you get my present" and he said no. I explained that I had sent it from x shop and what I had sent and he said "oh no, I have that, it came without a label, but I spoke to your sister an hour ago and she said it was from her."

I said it was definitely from us and he said he was confused as my sister had also sent him a book, but when he spoke to her she said the wine and cheese was from her as an extra present.

I didnt want to upset him so left it, just stating that it was from me.

I called her immediately and she said as DF said it hadn't got a label on it, she thought she would claim it. She thinks its funny that he now thinks it is a joint present. I am really not amused.

OP posts:

Bogeyface · 22/02/2013 11:18

I dont think that showing him proof of payment will help, he is clearly already feeling uncomfortable about this. DSis has shown herself up as a liar (and I want to say thief even though technically she isnt!), so I wouldnt push it any further.

EskSmith · 22/02/2013 11:19

I definitely agree, ask her for 50% if she isn't willing to make clear that she was a lying cowbag joking when she claimed it was from her.

Branleuse · 22/02/2013 11:21

wow, not even trivial, what a nerve

McNewPants2013 · 22/02/2013 11:23

Going against the grain, but I would leave it. Your father probably doesn't want his daughters arguing on his birthday.

It was a shitty thing your sister did.

ShyWombat · 22/02/2013 11:24

Just to add, did it not occur to her in her bid to grab the glory that the person it was from might be hurt by a lack of thanks from your DF and it could make him look bad for not thanking them? She had no idea it was from you when she rudely claimed credit, so could have put DF in an tricky spot socially. Daft and mean behavior from her.

KrisPBacon · 22/02/2013 11:25

Right now your sister is burning with embarrassment. Thats her punishment. Any attempt from her to laugh it off or brazen it out will confirm that she's dying of shame inside. You never know someone may just initiate a "So, did you get anything nice?" conversation in front of you both.

Fallenangle · 22/02/2013 11:29

I agree with McNewb don't end up with a row on your father's birthday especially if he might know about it. Remember, revenge is a dish best served cold.

OHforDUCKScake · 22/02/2013 11:32

She sounds very strange.

But its quite easy to fix "Hello DF, the cheese was from me. My sister dod not contribute to it whatsoever. I hope you enjoy it, see you tonight"

Sorted. He knows its from you.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 22/02/2013 11:32

The main thing is your dad now knows you sent him the cheese and wine, don't let this mushroom into something bigger.

(Stokes fire further by idly wondering if DSis has a habit of doing this and it's the first time you've twigged).

Inertia · 22/02/2013 11:34

Don't take it any further with your Dad, he was probably embarrassed that this situation has arisen .

Your sister is being an arse. You have made your point, she thinks it's a joke - leave her to think about what she's done. If she is usually ok then she's probably blustering because she knows she is in the wrong and has been found out.

I would consider ringing the shop to ask them to apologise to your father for the lack of a gift message.

diddl · 22/02/2013 11:34

But you told him that it isn´t from her?

Why was there no label?

Is that a fault on the part of the shop?

If so, can you write one & get them to send it on?

Theicingontop · 22/02/2013 11:35

I would call the company and complain about the lack of card, assuming you'd asked or paid for there to be one. They might even send your dad a voucher or a little freebie.

Your sister's a cow.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 22/02/2013 11:36

^^ Yes do this, or get the shop to telephone and ask if Lambzig's gifts got there intact, they are so sorry the label was misplaced.

OHforDUCKScake · 22/02/2013 11:38

I find it equally odd infact, that you didnt explain it to him for fear of "upsetting him".

Original poster

Lambzig · 22/02/2013 11:41

I rang the shop (as I had paid for gift wrapping) and just said that they had forgotten the label, not sure if they had gift wrapped and it had caused a bit of confusion. They apologised and offered to send my DF a little gift with a note apologising and explaining their error. I accepted, so now at least he will get something else and additional confirmation that it came from me.

As for my sister, it seems that every seven years or so she does something really mean. Rest of the time she is lovely. Revenge served cold sounds good though.

OP posts:

Original poster

Lambzig · 22/02/2013 11:46

Ohforducks, I did state to him that it had come from me very clearly, but he was getting upset (obviously thinking he had caused trouble between me and DSis). He is in his 70s and its his birthday.

My two sisters dont speak to each other which is a source of constant worry and upset to him and he didnt like the idea that there was going to be friction. He is very sharp and I am sure he knows what has happened.

OP posts:

diddl · 22/02/2013 11:47

Well at least he knows as you told him.

But of course assuming that he loves your sister as well he probably wouldn´t want to say bad things about her to you anyway.

My sister wouldn´t do exactly this, but she does like to give better gifts.

I think that´s a bit sad tbh.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 22/02/2013 11:48

Oh that sounds good then.

Personally I wouldn't give DSis the satisfaction I was irked or upset, (every 7 years, something unkind, really? how odd!).

olgaga · 22/02/2013 11:52

Sounds like the kind of thing a child would do, without realising the consequences...

For an adult to do it, very strange.

You can have a field day next time you all meet, send her up mercilessly.

SauvignonBlanche · 22/02/2013 11:56

Sounds like a good result from the shop OP.
I think taking the piss out your sister is a good plan.

Crocodilehunter · 22/02/2013 11:57

That would hack me right off if I was feeling dramatic I'd go as far as to say she stole your present! Little witch what's her problem?

diddl · 22/02/2013 12:05

Yes, I wouldn´t call her on it today, or soon.

Lull her into a false sense of security...

Then take the piss big time.

diddl · 22/02/2013 12:07

Oh and YABU-it's not trivial!

I guess she´ll turn it around will she-lighten up, it was a joke?

She was going to tell your Dad...

OHforDUCKScake · 22/02/2013 12:07

Oooooh this makes SO much more sense! Its your father, not your fiance!

I appologise OP I misunderstood the situation. x

countrykitten · 22/02/2013 12:17

I wouldn't make a big issue of it with your father - he is embarrassed as it is and it is his birthday after all. Your sister sounds absolutely vile though and I would give it to her both barrels. She should be the one that explains it to him.

Flip

1 2 3