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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want to find out who this woman is and offer HER some advice?

37 replies

DoJo · 21/02/2013 13:40

www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/jun/12/what-really-thinking-mum-school-gates

I just read this and it really made me feel sorry for this woman, who believes that eyebrow plucking equates to self-respect and that men cannot be attracted to women unless they have had a pedicure. The fact that she has even considered offering unsolicited advice to the other mums makes me wonder whether there is really anyone that lacking in self awareness that they don't understand that it is perfectly possible to have a loving relationship that isn't predicated on one of them 'doing their hair' every day or wearing tinted moisturiser. I would love to believe that people like this don't really exist, but given that this is an anonymous column written for no other reason than to share ones thoughts, it seems that she must indeed be real.

OP posts:
Original poster
DoJo · 21/02/2013 13:42

Doh! Knew there was something I'd forgotten:
www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/jun/12/what-really-thinking-mum-school-gates

OP posts:
CashmereHoodlum · 21/02/2013 13:44

I think I might know her! I have been offered advice on my appearance by a school-run-mum.

HoHoHoNoYouDont · 21/02/2013 13:44

I'd like to offer her some advice ...Get a life!

HollyBerryBush · 21/02/2013 13:46

That really made me laugh

"Phwoarr, unwashed hair, tracksuit bottoms and eyebrows that meet in the middle? I've got to have her now!"

FutTheShuckUp · 21/02/2013 13:47

Just read it? Its nearly three years old

SorryMyLollipop · 21/02/2013 13:49

I remember reading that when it was first published in the Guardian and I felt sorry for her. Manily because she is so bothered by what other women choose to look like. Why does it even affect her? She obviously believes that her way is the only way and she seems very insecure too.

lashingsofbingeinghere · 21/02/2013 14:00

Trite and dull (the column). It's hardly a controversial idea that many men prefer their partner to be well-groomed - just like many women aren't turned on by overhanging yellow toenails, nasal hair and shapeless fleeces.

steppemum · 21/02/2013 14:01

one of the sad things is that while she is busy looking at eyebrows, she doesn't actually know what is going on in these peoples lives. As I look around at the school gate, I see a mum coping with a flare up of her bi-polar, a mum who is recently out of hospital after an operation linked to her crohns, a gran who has just had breast surgery, a mum whose husband has been away for 4 months and kids are struggling without him, a disabled dad whose wife left him with kids 3 months ago, mums who couldn't get into their local school so they have a 30 minute walk to ours with reception age kid and toddler in buggy, mums who have just given birth, a young mum with chronic rheumatism, etc etc

I think it is bloody amazing that they are there on time with kids all ready for school actually, and I feel so strongly that these are amazing women (and men) and all she can see is the tracksuit bottoms...

fromparistoberlin · 21/02/2013 14:07

contraversial......but she might have a point

one of the nice things about working is you HAVE to make an effort somewhat

I hated the fact that I spent Mat Leave dressed like waynetta

I dont care and try hard not to judge, but I do wonder about peoples self esteem sometimes??

NadiaWadia · 21/02/2013 14:53

The Guardian always have a 'What I'm really thinking' item in the Saturday magazine. For instance, last week's was from 'the Child-free friend'.

They are often very exaggerated points of view, and I always assumed they were fictional.

Scholes34 · 21/02/2013 15:02

The author of the piece has obviously taken the lyrics of "Wives and Lovers" by Burt Bacharach to heart. Always hated the sentiment of this song:

Hey, little girl, comb your hair, fix your make-up, soon he will open the door,
Don't think because there's a ring on your finger, you needn't try any more.
For wives should always be lovers too,
Run to his arms the moment that he comes home to you.
I'm warning you,
Day after day, there are girls at the office and the men will always be men,
Don't stand him up, with your hair still in curlers, you may not see him again.
Wives should always be lovers too,
Run to his arms the moment he comes home to you.
He's almost here, hey, little girl, better wear something pretty,
Something you wear to go to the city,
Dim all the lights, pour the wine, start the music, time to get ready for love.
Time to get ready for love, yes it's time to get ready for love,
It's time to get ready, kick your shoes off, baby....,

thezebrawearspurple · 21/02/2013 15:05

steppemum, excellent post.

Original poster
DoJo · 21/02/2013 15:12

FutTheShuckUp - In my quest to read everything on the internet, I am a little behind!

NadiaWadia- They have an em-mail address for submissions, so I assumed they were actually using those - perhaps I will submit on about the 'AIBU addict' and see if it ever makes it online...Grin

OP posts:
Scholes34 · 21/02/2013 15:14

Do DoJo Do

maddening · 21/02/2013 15:22

What a vacuous twat she is!

Scootee · 21/02/2013 15:25

I'm worried about her self esteem, not mine! She hasn't left the house for 20 yrs without makeup. I got married without wearing a scrap of makeup. Wonder how she could ever understand that!

Spoonful · 21/02/2013 15:27

I saw my MIL without makeup for the first time recently, she is so old. I hadn't registered. :(

razamatazz · 21/02/2013 18:59

love that steppemum x

Cuddlyrunner · 21/02/2013 19:45

I think Steppemum might go to our school!

Hippee · 21/02/2013 19:47

I'm afraid to say that I don't even know how to do make-up (it was probably a mum at my school specifically talking about me).

I nearly put my foot in it with a friend. I was about to commiserate with her about being ill when I realised that she just wasn't wearing any make-up.

JollyRedGiant · 21/02/2013 20:02

I cannot imagine the reaction I'd have to someone giving me fashion/make up advice at the school gates. But I'm fairly certain the language would not be appropriate for primary school children's ears.

chandellina · 21/02/2013 20:58

I'm always impressed by how fabulous the parents look at school, and I'm not in a particularly glamorous area. It's just rude sniping by one self centered saddo.

XBenedict · 21/02/2013 21:03

Agree with every word steppemum said.

drownangels · 21/02/2013 21:09

I like to look nice for DH. So shoot me!

I also like to look nice for myself and ever since I left the hospital with Ds1. Nearly 17 years ago I continued to dress nice, keep my hair highlighted and styled etc just as I did before he arrived.
I enjoy doing it and have never turned up on the school run unkempt.

That said, I couldn't give a toss what other people look like. They have their own lives to run. My best mate has taken the piss out of me for nearly 30 year for having matching undies and always wearing lip stick or gloss even when rock climbing or mountain biking. I take the piss that she looks likeCrystal Tips! Who cares. Each to their own.

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte · 21/02/2013 22:36

If this is all she has to occupy her thoughts, I feel sorry for her..