AIBU to want to find out who this woman is and offer HER some advice?

[DoJo]

www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/jun/12/what-really-thinking-mum-school-gates

I just read this and it really made me feel sorry for this woman, who believes that eyebrow plucking equates to self-respect and that men cannot be attracted to women unless they have had a pedicure. The fact that she has even considered offering unsolicited advice to the other mums makes me wonder whether there is really anyone that lacking in self awareness that they don't understand that it is perfectly possible to have a loving relationship that isn't predicated on one of them 'doing their hair' every day or wearing tinted moisturiser. I would love to believe that people like this don't really exist, but given that this is an anonymous column written for no other reason than to share ones thoughts, it seems that she must indeed be real.

I dropped kids to school last Friday. Was presentable, as we're kids, another mum said completely by accident as walked in (she btw, snogged DP when they were kids hah) "well done!" it just popped out, but we both know what she meant. Showing up on time and together deserves a fucking medal!

I'm at uni at the moment and have noticed that the trend now seems to be tapered jeans and big baggy t shirts or sweaters (as mentioned in the article) I always feel really over dressed!
Maybe the women at the school gates are in fact trend setters rather than lazy and downtrodden!
I love stepmums comment, it just sums it up for me, not just the attitude of the writer, but of every other judgemental comment i come across aimed at another womans appearance, mothering or lifestyle choices.

I have great self esteem and take pride that at the age of 36 I make sure my hair is clean and brushed,face clean, teeth clean and I am good to go out. Usually jeans and top.I don't try to dress up and hide behind make up as i respect myself exactly as I am. My husband, kids and friends love me for who i am not what i look like. if I am not worth your while because of how I appear then you are not worth my while because of your value system.

cuddlyrunner - are you in swindon????

Here is a rough list of the things I think it is more important to spend my time on than my appearance (in approximate priority order):

My DD.
My DH.
My job.
Doing anything that is fun. (eg. sport, surfing the web)
Doing any necessary things that arent fun. (eg. washing up)
Doing things that aren't necessary or particularly fun but which make life rub along a bit easier (eg. sorting laundry into draws)

hmmm sleeping should be in there but I am not sure where...

Yeah so anyway, my answer to anyone attempting to give me grooming advice will be,

'Sorry I have to much respect for myself to waste my time on something so trivial and superficial'

I couldn't care less what other mums look like so don't tend to notice, and I don't understand why women who don't wear make-up are accused of not caring what they look like. I will only put make up on if I look in the mirror and am having a pretty bright eyed and bright skinned day because if I'm not no amount of slap is going to make me look better because my skin is grey under it and I actually look worse.
The school gates are not a fashion parade, that said I would never leave the house in tracksuit bottoms.

Well I mince around in make up with fine hair and I'm on mat leave. Someone will take issue with that too. Can't win

One of our mums is always late and several times she's turned in up her pyjamas.

I have never worn makeup in the day time in my 50 years of adult life [now 68].I think it feels sticky/tacky and looks fake.
I am who I am I look how I look.I am loved by my family and liked by my friends.I was respected by my colleagues.
I never smoked,I drink only moderately and I am comfortable in my skin.
Apologies if I sound smug but anyone who thinks facepaint,pedicures and hair dye makes her a better person needs a reality check.

I haven't put makeup on in about a year, and wasn't much more inclined to bother with it before kids, either. Will probably next do it in the spring when my little brother gets married. After that, who knows? Whereas my best friend spends an hour putting on full slap, including false eyelashes, every single morning of her life. We both present ourselves to the world in a way that feels right to us, and we both look fine. Uncannily enough, we've both ended up with partners who find our everyday appearance hugely attractive (and yes, my husband would be all over me given half a chance, even unshowered with tracksuit bottoms and unplucked eyebrows - he has to be presentable for the office every day and I tend to slob out, but I'm the one fending him off tyvm).

People can think what they want of me at the school gates, but the most polite response they'll get to any 'helpful' advice is a blank stare. If I was giving advice, I'd tell them to forget the makeup and enjoy an extra ten minutes in bed or with a book! But I'm not, because I know my way doesn't work for everyone. You wouldn't think that was so hard to bear in mind, surely.

I think she might have a point, though busy mums are not the first that come to mind.
I'm always amazed at the number of older people at the supermarket who don't comb their hair before going out, or wash it much in some cases.

And shoes, I mean shoes are just manky half the time. People used to find time for shoe cleaning - it's just not done now.

We are bombarded by fashion info and surrounded by cheap places to buy clothes (charity shops, end of line stuff) and half the population look like tramps.
Likewise we are bombarded by cookery information and half the population are overweight.

Watching that prog about Britain in the 50/60s everyone was dressed 'nicely' and slim! No one cares now.

Though I will admit lives are busier now.

Thing is, the What I'm Really Thinking columns are designed to annoy. They're trolling in print form. I really dislike them though I continue to buy the Guardian which I like for lots of other reasons, but I now flick past the column because I can see it's meant to cause exactly this kind of reaction. Disappointing of them really.