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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So dh has a sore back and is blaming me

33 replies

lottie63 · 21/02/2013 08:37

I had to leave at 7am for work. Dh didn't need to be in until 12. It's half term and I, as seems to be the default, organised childcare in advance for dd1, aged 8 to be taken care of by a friend who has a similar aged daughter. Friend asks if dd1 could bring her bike so they could both have a ride together. I thought this was a good idea and agreed. Dh is now blaming me for his sore back as he said he twisted it wheeling a bike whilst carrying his heavy bag. He got really quite nasty this morning, ie. his tone of voice. I said hd could hv asked dd2 (aged 11) to wheel it on the 20 min walk around to friend's house. Alternatively, if he'd thought it was going to be a problem, he could have asked me to take his bag to work in the car (both work at same business premises). Do you think I'm being unreasonable or is he out of order here, blaming me?

OP posts:
Technoviking · 21/02/2013 08:38

He's a cock. Hope that helps. Smile

TheRealMrsSmith · 21/02/2013 08:40

YANBU he is being a tit!

landofsoapandglory · 21/02/2013 08:40

He's being bang out of order.

Either of your DD's could have wheeled the bike. He didn't have to do it. Tell him to take some painkillers and man up!

Sparklingbrook · 21/02/2013 08:40

Could DD not have ridden the bike?

Bejeena · 21/02/2013 08:42

He moans about transporting a bike for his 8 year old daughter?

What sort of father is he?

But also I don't get why DD couldn't ride it herself with Dad following and her stopping every so often?

HecateWhoopass · 21/02/2013 08:42

He's being ridiculous to blame you. Utterly utterly ridiculous.

MrsLouisTheroux · 21/02/2013 08:45

Bad back = No hanky panky for a good month. Obviously. Count your blessings OP. He's a twunt.

diddl · 21/02/2013 08:45

I don´t get why he was wheeling the bike tbh.

So he has already taken the girls to be looked after somewhere even though he doesn´t need to be at work yet?

Didn´t he want some time with them?

Original poster
lottie63 · 21/02/2013 08:46

I did say she could have rode it. He ignored that response although I suspect he would have said the pavement would have been too busy (that s not the case. It's half term and less busy as people are away. It was also only about 9:15 in the morning). I suspect he's pissed off as he now can't run and has recently become obsessive about running every day and is therefore blaming me.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 21/02/2013 08:47

Ignore him. He is being ridiculous.

Original poster
lottie63 · 21/02/2013 08:49

He needed to drop dd1 off at that time cause it takes an hour and a half on public transport to get to work. He was bringing dd2 into our workplace (which is fine) so she was with him at the time

OP posts:
imnotmymum · 21/02/2013 08:53

I am beyond words. He is being ridiculous and you know it tell him to sod off.

happyAvocado · 21/02/2013 08:54

bad back would be just a result of him overdoing running
I guess he was also missing his warm ups or stretching afterwards

he should revise his knowledge about exercising :)

diddl · 21/02/2013 08:55

Well if she´s 8-couldn´t she have wheeled her own bike??

My husband is tall & would have struggled to wheel a kid´s bike any distance.

'tis common sense.

CocoNutter · 21/02/2013 08:59

I'm speechless. How on earth could he possibly think it was your fault?! My guess is he's hacked off about something else, or just generally in a bad mood, and is just taking it out on you.

Original poster
lottie63 · 21/02/2013 09:00

She could have wheeled it herself. I'd struggle and I'm only 5 ft 3. She may have been slower but that could have been factored in. ... If he'd had a mind to.

OP posts:
Longdistance · 21/02/2013 09:05

What a dick! Hth.

auntpetunia · 21/02/2013 09:16

I agree bad back equals no how's your father for at least 3 weeks, and he'll have to cut down on the running and just do stretching Pilates like exercise!

ChaoticisasChaoticdoes · 21/02/2013 09:28

So there are loads of things he could have done to avoid the situation but chose not to and now he's blaming you Hmm

YANBU He's an idiot.

CloudsAndTrees · 21/02/2013 09:31

Harsh responses!

People get grumpy when they are in pain. It's doesn't make him a twat. He was having a strop and you got the worst of it because you are the closest person to him. I think that is to be expected in a marriage ocassionaly.

pictish · 21/02/2013 09:35

I disagree cloudsandtrees I'm certainly not here to bear the brunt of my dh's crap, even if I am the closest person to him. Marriage is not a licence to behave like a cunt and make your wife shoulder the blame for your own mistakes. He put his own back out, and there's no reason whatsoever for him to blame the OP. How ridiculous!

pictish · 21/02/2013 09:35

And yeah...it does make him a twat.

Hesterton · 21/02/2013 10:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StuntGirl · 21/02/2013 10:32

Yeah, it sounds like he's behaving like a twat. There were a thousand and one other options he could've used instead of wheeling it in himself. His mistake, his fault, his problem!

Original poster
lottie63 · 21/02/2013 11:11

Yes. He seems to have a bit of an issue about bikes... actually about anything he needs to put a little effort in... So bikes have had punctures before now. He couldn't be arsed learning how to fix them. They sat in the yard for months until me and dd2 opened up youtube to learn - and myself and 11 year old fixed them between us. Similarly, didn't like learning how to put bike rack on car so never takes kids to cycle path. It's not that he doesn't like cycling. He does. Just abdicates responsibility for fixing bikes - for fixing anything, if the truth be told.

OP posts: