Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not need to hear about other people's parenrs evenings

67 replies

Molehillmountain · 20/02/2013 13:27

I know, I know, Facebook is the work of the devil etc, but I really don't get why people need to share a blow by blow account of exactly how marvellous their child is. We tell grandparents and a one line account to anyone who actually asks. I now know exactly how many reading levels this persons dc has jumped, how marvellous they are at maths etc etc. It doesn't fit at all with how they are usually and I don't get why it doesn't sound like bragging to them as they type. And breathe. And trying not to be ungracious but probably not succeeding after a rubbish few days.

OP posts:
Hassled · 20/02/2013 15:58

I'm with you, Molehill, even though I know it's bad and wrong of me. There's no reason on earth why you shouldn't feel free to say "Little Jimmy is doing amazingly at Maths and I'm incredibly proud of him" on FB, but yet something about it sticks in my throat. Probably some retained trauma from the time DS1's parents evening was so bad I cried in the school hall.

Sparklingbrook · 20/02/2013 16:02

Sounds like FB is good for boasting. Because you could argue that people don't have to read it do they? If they do then it's their own fault if they don't like it.

Bejeena · 20/02/2013 16:03

I never said for a minute that anyones kids weren't a big part of their lives. That goes without saying, my baby will be and already is the biggest thing in my life for sure.

But facebook isn't a big part of my life, shall we just put it that way? I don't feel the need to share stuff about my family on there, most of what I post is probably just idle chit chat about news or the weather! I don't like the idea of someone being able to find info on my children there and no matter how you have your security settings what you post isn't actually your own. I only post there things that I don't mind the whole world reading.

pictish · 20/02/2013 16:09

Is being proud of your child boasting though?
I don't think it is.
If a person posts once a year that their child has got a good report at parent's evening and is doing well at school, then surely that's just being pleased? What's wrong with that?

If a person posts regularly bigging up their kid to the point where if they fart it smells of lavendar, then that's boasting...and I do have one such person on my fb....her son is the cleverest, most handsome, most adorable child that ever graced the earth don't you know? She's a boast and totally deluded.

But being annually pleased that your child is doing well at school? Nah. It's only 'boasting' to those who didn't get a good report...and that's hardly anyone else's problem is it?

pictish · 20/02/2013 16:10

bejeena - that's fair dos.

Sparklingbrook · 20/02/2013 16:10

When DSs get school reports DH and I read it, then my Mum and Dad have a read. I can't think of anyone else who would be interested TBH.

gordyslovesheep · 20/02/2013 16:22

I'm with you Pictish I'd hate my kids to think i was ashamed to be proud of them

Sparklingbrook · 20/02/2013 16:26

My DSs know how proud we are of them, but we don't put it on FB.

MrsDoomsPatterson · 20/02/2013 16:26

Not strictly true Pictish. My kids receive sparkling reports, year in, year out but I still think it' ever so slightly boastful to post about it on fb. (realiseI may be boasting now but you don't know me so, meh, just illustrating my point)

We is all different, hey?!

MrsDoomsPatterson · 20/02/2013 16:27

I still say it's insecurity, that need for validation.

RedwingOnFire · 20/02/2013 16:31

I think it's nice to share in how proud family & friends are of their children's achievements!! Why have people on there/visible if you don't care??

Schooldidi · 20/02/2013 16:31

I know that all the friends I have who post about their wonderful kids and their fabulous reports/parents evenings would be green with envy if I told them what levels dd1 is on for everything (except PE and Art, they'd laugh like drains at those levels). So I don't post them because I don't want other people to feel bad about their own kids not doing quite so well as mine ;)

pictish · 20/02/2013 16:39

But MrsDooms then you could say the same for any perceived pleasure in any achievement couldn't you?

For fuck's sake don't express pleasure in anything. Only self depracating misery is permissable.

usualsuspect · 20/02/2013 16:42

Whats wrong with being proud of your kids?

If Fb annoys you so much, don't use it.

Sparklingbrook · 20/02/2013 16:44

I am proud of my kids and i don't use FB. Grin

pictish · 20/02/2013 16:45

You're not allowed to be proud of your kids usual...or at least, you're not allowed to express publicly that you are proud of your kids. You are to keep it to yourself, lest anyone who didn't get a good report have their nose put out of joint. It's not that they are jealous of course...it's because you are boasting.

Fuck knows.

Sparklingbrook · 20/02/2013 16:46

So how was being publicly proud done before FB?

usualsuspect · 20/02/2013 16:46

Thats ok then, Sparkling Grin

It's the other miserable buggers that use FB, then whinge all day long about how other people use it that piss me off.

Heres a tip, only have people you like on FB and not any old random.

pictish · 20/02/2013 16:49

It wasn't I suppose. What has that got to do with anything though?
Fb is a platform for the stuff in your life you want to share.
Some people want to share their pride in their kids...which is fine by me!

Sparklingbrook · 20/02/2013 16:51

I just had visions of frantic photocopying of reports and sticking stamps on envelopes.

People could now say I am doing my DC a disservice by not having a FB account and posting their achievements on it?

KellyElly · 20/02/2013 16:53

So how was being publicly proud done before FB? It was much more expensive and a hassle as you had to actually phone all your family and friends to tell them your news and go to boots and get loads of pics printed costing you a fortune (never mind the postage) Grin

pictish · 20/02/2013 16:53

I don't think anyone could or would say that.

My beef here, is that saying you got a good school report on fb, is seen as boasting.
I say it's only seen as boasting by those who didn't...because to me, it's a fundamentally pleasurable as things come.

RedwingOnFire · 20/02/2013 17:02

Looking at the question at the end of the OP, why doesn't it feel like bragging? I suppose because it just feels like sharing news of the positive sort, it's not actually in comparison to anyone else's child.

RedwingOnFire · 20/02/2013 17:05

And sorry you've had a rubbish few days, OP. People are mostly positive (or cryptically dramatic) on Facebook and so it can intensify feelings of rubbishness if you're that way out at the time.

pictish · 20/02/2013 17:06

Exactly redwing. Very well put.

Swipe left for the next trending thread