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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be thoroughly pissed off about extra additions to ski holiday and to get my clip board out?

138 replies

Beachcomber · 20/02/2013 09:01

Will try to keep this short. We are lucky enough to be going skiing for 6 days next week. We live in France and will drive to resort, we have our own gear so no ski hire. We are very very lucky in that an acquaintance gives us mates rates on an apartment (half the normal price). All this means that we can afford to go skiing. We still save up for this though in order to pay for our lift passes and lessons for the children - it is a special treat.

DH has invited a friend and his girlfriend to join us for 3 out of the 6 days (he checked with me first and I was perfectly happy with the idea as it is fun to do this sort of thing with other people). They were pleased to come along. However it now turns out that they will be bringing two children with them (the girlfriend's from a previous relationship), when we invited them, the understanding was that the children were with their father that week.

I am really not keen on this happening at all. It means the apartment will be full to bursting (someone will be sleeping on pull out sofa in living room, the only small bedroom will need to have 4 people in it and two people will have to sleep in bunks in the hall). French ski apartments are tiny and there is never enough space to store/dry ski things, and there will be only one combined shower-room with the toilet in it for 8 people. We are self-catering so going to have to organise meals for 4 adults and 4 children around a table that only sits 6 at a squeeze.

Also the two children who now appear to be coming are of the noisy, jump on sofas, talk back to their mum (and others) type. Last time we spent time with them she got pretty frazzled. I feel sorry for them all, she is exhausted, she works full time and a single mum with young children who are obviously finding the upheaval of their parents divorce really hard. That doesn't mean I want to spend 3 days squeezed into a small apartment/going skiing with them though. Even worse, the mum is a beginner skier so I'm not too sure who is going to be in charge of her kids on the slopes as they ski better than she does and I can't see them being content to keep their mum happy on green runs.

AIBU to want to set some ground rules with everybody before we go? Such as each family is responsible for their kids and only their own and can we please not have the blokes off doing the black runs whilst the mums take kids to the toilet/sort lunch for them/sort out another change of dry gloves/drop them off and pick them up from lessons, etc? I also want us to have some idea of what we are going to eat in the evening and to have discussed who is sleeping where before we arrive. Really, I would prefer this not to be happening like this but we are just going to have to get on with it now.

OP posts:
Gingerodgers · 21/02/2013 06:29

You sound a bit like me, getting your knickers in a twist, and predicting things that will annoy you in advance. Good luck, I am sure it will be great. Maybe sit all the kids down for a ground rules chat when you arrive, with their mum,then you will feel able to tell them off if they are jumping on the furniture. The other couple do sound nice, lets just hope their new relationship doesn't involve lots of noisy sex!!!

Beachcomber · 21/02/2013 09:18

No, I wasn't thinking of looking after other children while mine are having lessons - that is my child free time to concentrate on myself. Our kids have been booked into lessons for weeks, I have no idea if there are any places left should our friends want to put their kids in, I doubt it, it is peak season and school holidays. There will be loads of local children in ski school whilst their parents are at work.

All the children can come down blues - just the younger two need help on the lifts as they are small. My 6yo will ski down fine but she is a bit too light for some of the jerkier lifts so we always take her up on our legs. We try to use chairlifts when possible as she likes these.

So you are right here If the 5 yo can't manage a drag/chair lift and his mother can't help him then her dp needs to be with him or they pay for lessons-simples.

Can this be done on a snowboard? The drag with child on leg I mean?

Will try to untwist knickers Gingerodgers Grin. I think I'm being like this because I suspect a nonparent has no idea what it is like skiing with kids and I suspect a beginner has no idea what it is like skiing with kids (children learnt with their dad). Usually I'm quite relaxed, honestly!

OP posts:
Wishihadabs · 21/02/2013 17:54

Haha at no noisy sex rule. Surely not with the sleeping arrangements you describe !

I'm afraid I don't know if you can do the leg trick with a snow board. We tend to prefer chairs as well.

exoticfruits · 22/02/2013 09:53

As a skier who has stayed in small apartments and skied with children it sounds a nightmare. Since it is a bit late to stop it I would just establish from the start that you are not involved in any of their skiing arrangements. Say what you are doing and say you hope they have a nice day! You could arrange to meet for lunch but apart from that just socialise in the evening- maybe ski a bit together later in the week.

exoticfruits · 22/02/2013 09:54

Oh- and hope for good weather!

Beachcomber · 23/02/2013 20:13

Thanks again for all the messages. We are off tomorrow. Have just met with friends to talk about who is sleeping where, etc. Am trying to look on the bright side but not managing terribly well. It is going to be chaos.

OP posts:
talkingnonsense · 23/02/2013 21:04

Good luck!

theoriginalandbestrookie · 23/02/2013 21:42

Try to enjoy yourself Beachcomber. I do hope you are grabbing the bedroom for your family at least.

Do not sacrifice your family holiday and remember you do get the last 3 days to yourself !

GreenEggsAndNichts · 23/02/2013 21:56

Might just be marking my place, I'd love to hear how this turns out. :)

Have fun, OP!

zoobaby · 23/02/2013 22:14

Hope all goes well and you come back saying the good ol "I really don't know why I got so worked up" line. Have fun! :)

exoticfruits · 24/02/2013 07:18

Hope it goes well - report back please!

Beachcomber · 24/02/2013 07:38

will report back! they are already asking to stay an extra night and if we can take some of their gear in our (packed car).

aaaahh. breathes and channels peace love and goodwill to all men...

OP posts:
SPBInDisguise · 24/02/2013 07:39

oh dear...

Beachcomber · 24/02/2013 07:40

i may need this aibu to be a support thread. MN will get me through this!

OP posts:
Alibabaandthe40nappies · 24/02/2013 08:15

The answers are no and no, surely??

They sound like pisstakers, you are going to need to be very firm!

Beachcomber · 24/02/2013 08:32

we said no about extra night and didnt have space in the car anyway. dh and i had a good chat last night. he is very much on board with me and ready to keep everyone in line. the extra night request has pissed him off no end.

OP posts:
Alibabaandthe40nappies · 24/02/2013 08:35

Oh good, well at least you are in agreement with DH - and it sounds like the cheeky extra night request will have hardened your hearts in relation to other favours they may beg!

I really hope you manage to have a good time! Grin

Dubjackeen · 24/02/2013 08:37

Well done,OP. it sounds a bit of a nightmare,hope things work out. At least you still have the three days to yourselves. Have fun,and keep us posted.

PetiteRaleuse · 24/02/2013 08:39

Very interesting thread cultural difference wise. Just marking my place.

Cuddlyrunner · 24/02/2013 08:41

will be looking forward to updates x

saffronwblue · 24/02/2013 08:44

Good luck!

theoriginalandbestrookie · 24/02/2013 08:48

Do keep us updated, they sound very entitled now.

I remember a bunch of us once did a ski holiday with maximum capacity. It was hysterical ( in retrospect). 3 of us were in one room which had a bunk bed and pull out trundle bed, but the room was so small that when the trundle was out you couldn't close the door. The person on the top bunk got drunk every night and threw her clothes down on top of me when she got undressed, oh and talked in her sleept. Someone else sleep walked.

We had one toilet between 7 of us.

Make sure your DH keeps his steely resolve. I have a horrible feeling that once he sees his mate, and has the promise of a pal to go down the blacks with, he will be out of that appartment as soon as the lifts open. But even if that is the case you are under no obligation to sort out the others. Just get yourself and your DCs ready as quickly as you can and dash off, before she starts roping you in.

MyHeadWasInTheSandNowNot · 24/02/2013 09:04

Well, it's probably a good thing that asking for the extra night has pissed him off a bit (and that he said NO!) because he's more likely to see your POV about other things now too! :)

I'm not sure why you needed a discussion about who was sleeping where? YOU are renting this, they are coming along for 3 days - they sleep where you tell them they're sleeping! Stop being so british Grin

I hope you have sorted the food out too. Try not to let yourself get out of pocket over it - it sounds like they can afford it, if you just let them know what they owe you and actually if they offer to contribute towards the rental, I'd say 'Fabulous, thank you' then you can treat your girls to a few things (another dinner or lunch out, a hat they like - whatever) which might make up for having the others along.

Frankly - I think you're barking inviting them in the first place, one family in one of those appartments is more than enough. I lived in several over the years and can't imagine having 8 in there with all the gear! Urgh.

Make sure the wine gets packed first and do NOT say 'Yes' to being responsible for her kids all the time!

FlowerTruck · 24/02/2013 09:26

I thought to myself as I started reading this, I bet they stay for longer than three nights ! Please come back and update us.

LIZS · 24/02/2013 11:36

Agree , bet they decide to ski a full day when they should be leaving and then could they just have early dinner, stop over...Fingers crossed weather is less than kind that day to put them off! Will look out for aibu thread but just hope you are all still speaking by mid week.