MIL and Baby's sex?

[ruledbyheart]

Maybe IABU I am tired, hormonal and don't have the best rerelationship with MIL anyway (huge background of her hating me and being toxic).

I am 14 weeks pregnant with DC4 but it's DPs first, MIL was not best pleased with the news but we have decided to make the effort with her and see if this changes overtime which it is slowly doing.

Anyway tonight we go over and SIL asks about baby so we tell her that we had the scan and everything is fine etc etc and SIL then asks if we are gonna find out the sex, yes me and DP plan on doing this if we can as it will help planning things with other DCs, MIL then pipes up after taking no interest in the conversation previously to she wants it to be a surprise so if we do find out she doesn't want to know and not to tell her.

I did quip back I thought the pregnancy was a good enough surprise itself but otherwise kept my mouth shut.

Speaking to DP I can't understand why we should go out of our way to not tell her what we are having so not to ruin her surprise?
It would mean not telling most other people in DPs family as they won't keep quiet and not beong able to put anything on Facebook or say anything we have bought etc.

Is it abit weird for her to demand this and should I pander to her?

Why should we stop our excitement just because she doesn't want to know when she hasn't been interested at all previously?

I'm annoyed and frustrated but AIBU?

I have a perfectly good relationship with my PIL but I'm a little frustrated that they've asked not to be told what DC2 is. It wasn't such a big deal with DS1 because we found out & decided to keep it as our secret. This time we decided to be more open about it so all my family & our friends know but we've had to ask them to keep it off facebook to avoid DH's cousins finding out. In their family it does seem to be that you can't make a passing comment about anything without someone jumping on the phone & informing the rest of the family! One of DH's cousins has specifically asked & I could tell her & ask her not to say anything but a) it doesn't seem fair to ask her to keep secrets for us & b) she's very close to her mother & I can easily see her saying 'Don't tell anyone but...' & her mum getting over excited about it & telling MIL!

It's especially annoying given that we wanted to guage opinions on names & let certain people join in with the fun of picking names & the best way to communicate with all my family members is via facebook. Eventually I posted shortlists of both genders & asked for opinions on both 'so we could be prepared if the scan was wrong'. The scan won't be proved wrong. Absolutely no doubt about DS2's boy-ness!

It's annoying but I guess we're all family & have to muddle along together so we'll do what we can & hope for the best!

Don't tell her but don't go out of your way to keep it a secret - she could stay off fb till the baby is here and she is responsible for ensuring no one tells her.

We chose not to know for DC1, but decided to find out for DC2, our DS. Once I knew he was a boy, it was always very difficult to not slip up and refer to "him".

My mum didn't want to know, she always said she wanted a surprise, but I did say that I'd do my best but if I slipped up, then that was that.

I wanted to know because I'd been offered some clothes and I didn't want to take them if they were for the wrong sex. (They could have gone to someone else then).