In thinking DH is a bastard of the highest order...

[slatternlymother]

He has eaten a whole share bag of Malteasers.

I have had 4.

The utter bastard has fucking eaten the rest in handfuls.

LTB

Bastard! Leave him immediately

He always hogs the Malteasers

I hope you shoved the empty bag somewhere.

No you were rash allowing said bag of malteasers to be in his possession.

Unreasonable behaviour, therefore grounds for divorce surely

Buy yourself a pack of those minibags, put them in various places that only you know about and open one everytime you're near him. And don't share. Punish him severely.

binky I'm just so upset.

I have not spoken to him for 8 minutes now.

Dealbreaker, leave the bastard!

But he is a true saint. He is sacrificing his blood sugar levels in order to keep yours stable.

What do you mean you have had four?

In future, you should count them out into two little bowls. Let him scoff his and look longingly at yours as you eat them as slowly as possible while you stroke the fork you have by your side which you WILL poke him in the eye with if he tries to snaffle even one off you!

It was one of those HUUUUGE big bags.

230g to be precise. He has eaten 229g of Malteasers.

He doesn't even appreciate them, just shovels them down in handfuls.

What will become of our child, with a father like him?

I can sympathise with him unfortunately. I too share a dangerous addiction to Maltesers and if they are put in front of me I cannot be held responsible for my actions! In fact, just off to the shop...

'twas only 4 little Malteasers

I thought you wouldn't find me...

I haven't been able to break. The bastard is too quick off the mark...

DH just asked me if you were me op

He can 'do' a packet in 4 minutes

Definition of SHARE for Mr Slatternly

share 1 (shâr)
n.

1. A part or portion belonging to, distributed to, contributed by, or owed by a person or group.
2. An equitable portion: do one's share of the work.
3. Any of the equal parts into which the capital stock of a corporation or company is divided.

v. shared, shar·ing, shares v.tr.

1. To divide and parcel out in shares; apportion.
2. To participate in, use, enjoy, or experience jointly or in turns.
3. To relate (a secret or experience, for example) to another or others.
4. To accord a share in (something) to another or others: shared her chocolate bar with a friend.

v.intr.

1. To have a share or part: shared in the profits.
2. To allow someone to use or enjoy something that one possesses: Being in daycare taught the child to share.
3. To use or enjoy something jointly or in turns: There is only one computer, so we will have to share.

Idiom: go shares To be concerned or partake equally or jointly, as in a business venture.

Sorry - completely sympathise with your DH - Maltesers are made to be shovelled in by the handful. Hide the packet next time.

foggles thank you, I shall copy it out and leave it on the empty fucking packet for him to peruse at his leisure

My first ever LTB. Maltesers are not for DHs.

Maltesers are not for DHs

^^love that

We should have that printed on t shirts

Oh, I will find you, slatternlymother ...

Could be worse, DP ate his 11 year old sister's CHRISTMAS PRESENT Maltesers this year. And the chocolates he bought me for Christmas. And the chocolate heart be bought me for Christmas. And the chocolates he bought me for Valentines.

He did replace all of the above, (his little sister's one immediately) but there was a large volume of huffing until I got another Hotel Chocolat heart I'd had the audacity to leave it until Jan 3rd to look for it to eat it

Don't leave him until he has got you more Maltesers to replace the ones he hogged!!

Yabvvvvvu...You should move faster