to think my neighbours are being ridiculous.

[ThatVikRinA22]

a few months ago my adjoining neighbour put up half a fence between our two gardens.
its half a fence. its his boundary so i have left him to it, although i did tell him that we were going to be completely revamping out garden and wall and i would have done the fence - but it is his boundary so thats fine. i thought.

now we are having our drive block paved and my front garden landscaped and a new fence up.

neighbours have suddenly decided that they have put their fence up in the wrong place and that the boundary is in our favour by about 6 inches.

they have gone and complained to my builders that they block paved up to their fence when their fence is in the wrong place.....

the point is they fucking well put the fence there!!! not me! i couldnt give a toss if they want another 6 inches of garden - they are welcome to it but now it means that my paving stops short of the fence and looks bloody stupid.....

how should i broach this?

they are inconsiderate bastards at best - when i begin any work i always let the neighbours know out of courtesy - they have just spent the last 5 weeks banging and drilling having a new kitchen fitted (yes - 5 weeks!!! to fit a kitchen!!!) and i work shifts - including nights. they dont give a shit.

im actually really angry about all this but i have to live adjoining them and dont want to start a ridiculous neighbour dispute....

my garden is costing alot of money - and their stupidity is ruining the finish. they say they are moving the fence - but when??? after tomorrow my garden will be finished - they have had plenty of time to move it if they wanted to.

im actually seething inwardly.

[ThatVikRinA22]

no lottie you arent understanding the issue at all.

neighbour 1 erected a fence then chose the day i had block paving done to tell me he erected it in the wrong place and would now like to move it. fine. ive taken up the paving and he can move it. (he wont though. its been there for months and months)

neighbour 2 - i have a proper drainage system in the drive - all done properly with a 10yr guarantee - but tehy wanted the soakaway - they wouldnt allow me to take my fence posts out - so we didnt and put a small gulley between our drives.
now they dont want the gulley between the drives and have decided they made a mistake because our drive was holding their drive up so now they want me to concrete right up to their drive and get rid of the soakaway.

bastards. make your fucking mind up. no? oh ok then i will just keep paying for your fucking adjustments to my drive on my land shall i?

thats the issue lottie- not what you are saying.

[Grockle]

I don't understand people who make things so bloody difficult. Life is hard enough without deliberately being a total pita.

[ThatVikRinA22]

the fact is that i have done exactly what both sets of neighbors wanted - to the letter.

but now they have decided they dont want that anymore so i am supposed to pay for the adjustments that have now decided they want. to my drive. my land. my boundary. my fence. all after the work is finished because now they have "had chance to think about it"

and like a fucking idiot im going to do it, because its just not worth the hassle.
and i will not speak to them again. bollocks to them.
i could just put up a fence. its my land. my boundary. but they dont want that either. they want their cake and frigging eat it while i pay for it all.

im so so so so

[Grockle]

You have every right to be angry. I'd say to not ask them any more & not to change anything at your expense but I know it's easier to just do it & avoid the aggro. So sorry it's all turned into a bit of a nightmare when all you were doing was trying to be considerate.

[ThatVikRinA22]

thanks grockle

i might yet put up some 6ft fence panels at least half way down the drive (as others have done on the street) and sod them - i wont tell them, and then put some posts and chain the rest of the way so we can both get in and out of our cars. its my boundary. no more mr nice guy. ive seen where that gets me.

[Grockle]

I think that's perfectly fair. I keep looking at barbed wire & prickly bushes for our boundary but have resisted temptation.

I was debating taking up some of my block paving but I daren't now!

Do whatever makes you feel happy & sod them... they're clearly unreasonable & a bit bonkers, so put yourself first. No more Mr Nice Guy indeed.

[donnasummer]

just check the height of your fence carefully if you do go for a big one, anythin over a certain height requires planning permission (and I know this because MY neighbours went out with a tape measure the day after I replaced our chicken wire boundary with a lovely solid fence. The land is flat is flat and then slopes down and the fence follows the slope, to accomodate the slope meant that at one point it was 1.5 inches longer than the required height from top to bottom, even though the top of the fence was following the downhill slope iyswim. They reported me and I had to get retrospective planning permission at the cost of £150).

[CleopatrasAsp]

donnasummer, some people are just bloody pathetic.

vicar I think you've been too nice actually, the problem with people like this is that they start pushing boundaries - pardon the terrible pun - and before you know it you are running every arseing thing possible past them for their approval. Sometimes, when you say 'no' people are less inclined to hassle you in the future, they tend to bank on 'nice' people backing down in order not to cause a fuss. I think that for neighbour one I would have asked them to prove the boundary or shut the fuck up (though I would have said this in a more pleasant way obviously). Neighbour two I wouldn't have consulted at all and would just have done what I was legally allowed to do in the first place and removed the post - but hindsight is a wonderful thing I suppose!

[AgathaF]

vicar you need to stop accommodating them. They won't thank you for it, they won't be happy with it, so what's the point?

They'll get over it in their own time.

Still think big prickly bushes though

[undercoverhousewife]

Poor you, Vicar. It will pass though. In the grand scheme of things, please try not to let these issues bother you (easier said than done). Do your best to keep everyone happy - as you have done - then enjoy your lovely new garden and drive.

You did the right thing with neighbour 1 - plans on deeds of boundaries are only guides rather than definitive, and a half way point between the two houses sounds like it is indeed the correct boundary position. Chuck some pretty flowers in the 6 inch gap if soil, otherwise a nice strip of gravel.

As for neighbour 2, I would ignore them. It's a shame you asked them about the fence posts rather than inform them you would be lifting them but that's spilt milk now. They are being unreasonable. Be polite to them but non committal and leave it however you want it. There is no such thing as a legal right to support for your drive.

[ShipwreckedAndComatose]

Oh op! Just read this and feel your pain

You need new neighbours!

Some people can never be happy and so I think you need to stop trying to make them happy. If they don't like it, they can fix it!!

[PessaryPam]

vicar just say you can't afford it now you have done what they first requested. Ask them to pay for further alterations. They will then decide it's not that important. If that fails go for some good old fashioned police harassment!

[BlatantLies]

If you do put up a fence don't forget to paint 'their' side bright orange, or zebra, or purple with green spots or whatever takes your fancy......

At the very least let them have the unattractive 'back' side of the fence.

[Catchingmockingbirds]

Stick your fence up and ignore them, they'll moan no matter what you do so you may aswell just do what you want.

[ophelia275]

I think you are making it worse for yourself by worrying so much about being nice to your neighbours. I personally would refuse to pay for any corrections to things on my own land as it is not your fault they changed their mind. I don't think you will have an easier life or be friends with your neighbours if you make endless changes for them at your cost. They will just think you are a pushover and expect you to do more and more and treat you like rubbish. I think you should be really really wary of that as in the long run, doing what they want will just cause you more stress than being firm and saying "no" now. It is not like you are being unreasonable. Just make sure you are legally in the right and then say if they want x or y on their land then they can pay for it themselves.

[maddening]

I would just do whatever you want - what's the point in pandering to fuckwits?

[PeppermintPasty]

If you came to me for legal advice wrt shittyneighbour2 I would advise you to do nothing to accommodate them as they are in the wrong. Your plans for your drive are well thought out and well executed, from what you've said on here. I've never heard such a load of bollocks about one drive supporting another. If they think that, they will have to spend some money on a surveyor to back up their spurious argument.

[saintlyjimjams]

Tell him that's fine but he'll have to pay builders of your choice.

What a total twat.

[saintlyjimjams]

Oh I've missed pages. Can you move and let some other poor sod live next door to the fuckers.

[comingintomyown]

Neighbour 1 : Erect your own fence , to your own (legal) specification as it sounds like his will be an eyesore either way

Neighbour 2 : Completely ignore

What a pair of fuckers you have the misfortune to live next door to but really, stop worrying and dont spend a penny more that isnt for your benefit

[undercoverhousewife]

Peppermint makes a good point. Say to Neighbour 2 that you have listened to their concerns and don't quite understand (you don't!) and can they please provide you with a surveyor's opinion so you can consider the matter properly. They will never get one and you have shown willing.

Don't antagonise either side btw It's not worth it. But also, I agree about not pandering to them as both sets of neighbours seem to be unreasonable and will demand more and more. Be civil, polite and do your own sweet thing :-) You sound lovely.

[ThatVikRinA22]

actually peppermint thats a good idea - Neighbour 2 reckons he is a solicitor but is also an actor (!!???) and also does surveys for houses etc etc and is a complete and utter know it all. Reckons he got his grandson out of police custody with a nod and a wink because he 'knows people' - i think he is a complete fantasist.

i might just ask them for a surveyors report to substantiate their claim that my drive is going to cause damage to theirs - and when they are next out im going to take photos of their drive - its broken and sunken and cracked - as ours was before the makeover as they were built at the same time in 1964. Their drive is knackered already and was long before i moved here and long before we did this work.

My builder is really loathe to do anything more since we have accommodated their wishes in the first place.

[ShipwreckedAndComatose]

That sounds like an excellent plan!