to think my neighbours are being ridiculous.

[ThatVikRinA22]

a few months ago my adjoining neighbour put up half a fence between our two gardens.
its half a fence. its his boundary so i have left him to it, although i did tell him that we were going to be completely revamping out garden and wall and i would have done the fence - but it is his boundary so thats fine. i thought.

now we are having our drive block paved and my front garden landscaped and a new fence up.

neighbours have suddenly decided that they have put their fence up in the wrong place and that the boundary is in our favour by about 6 inches.

they have gone and complained to my builders that they block paved up to their fence when their fence is in the wrong place.....

the point is they fucking well put the fence there!!! not me! i couldnt give a toss if they want another 6 inches of garden - they are welcome to it but now it means that my paving stops short of the fence and looks bloody stupid.....

how should i broach this?

they are inconsiderate bastards at best - when i begin any work i always let the neighbours know out of courtesy - they have just spent the last 5 weeks banging and drilling having a new kitchen fitted (yes - 5 weeks!!! to fit a kitchen!!!) and i work shifts - including nights. they dont give a shit.

im actually really angry about all this but i have to live adjoining them and dont want to start a ridiculous neighbour dispute....

my garden is costing alot of money - and their stupidity is ruining the finish. they say they are moving the fence - but when??? after tomorrow my garden will be finished - they have had plenty of time to move it if they wanted to.

im actually seething inwardly.

[ThatVikRinA22]

thanks mamma - im not completely ruling out staying if my return goes ok, and if i can go part time without resentment from everyone else, but im anxious about going back. the shifts kill me, and while i always seem calm and unflappable, im an anxiety ridden mess on the inside. im not sure i can overcome that. the job is dangerous. more so now with less of us as often there is no back up at jobs that could easily go tits up....

and im totally off the point now!

[WafflyVersatile]

Maybe they built half the fence then thought they'd made a mistake over the boundary and felt foolish but also too dispirited/lazy to have to start again. then you come along with your fancy gardeners and your 'oooh get you' blocked paving and they have seen this as you trying to take advantage of their mistake!!! And making fools of them for it.

Put your own fence up at the edge of your paving and send them a bill for taking up the excess block paving? Tell them first and explain this will save them time and money as much easier for them than having to remove and reinstall half a fence and buy and install the remaining half a fence. And it will look nicer because it will have been done by competent professionals and it will be finished.

[ThatVikRinA22]

if only waffly - he is the type who starts a job then cant finish it. its not even remotely straight and the posts stick up further than the fence - all looks very amateurish and daft. the reason he left it half done was he got fed up and wandered off.....

he did the same at the back. we ve had to finish the job he started. he is friendly but dim and she has a face like a smacked arse. so i avoid where ever possible.

[ThatVikRinA22]

oh my fucking GOD!!!!! ive just made an idiot of myself and burst into tears in the garden - the neighbours at the other side are at it now!

i wanted to take some ancient fence posts down - its my fence on my boundary - but asked the neighbours at that side out of courtesy - and they said no.

so i left them but it meant my drive had to come in a full bricks width and the builders had to fill that bit with gravel - the drive has drainage in it - and now those neighbours are saying that because we havent gone right up to their paving slabs (which we would have had they let us take the fence posts out) that our drive was supporting their drive and now their drive might get water under it from our gulley with pebbles in - ive just got the builder back to try and explain to them that its not for drainage its just because they wouldnt let us take the fence posts out (no fence!! just posts there!!!!) they couldnt butt our drive up to theirs.....

ive just lost my rag completely and burst into tears. The poor builder....
he says i live next door to dick heads on boths sides.

he has a point.

[adeucalione]

You sound like a lovely, considerate neighbour vicar and you are indeed living next door to two sets of absolute idiots.

Regarding the first neighbour - as others have said, finish your drive where he thinks the boundary is and erect your own fence, leaving his looking slightly ridiculous and redundant.

Regarding the second neighbour - explain again that the drive is finished in the only way it could be finished given that they wouldn't let you remove the fence posts, and suggest that if they are not happy with it they pay the builder to remove the posts and rectify the problem (bet they don't).

But don't cry - you are in a stressful situation due to the bonkers behaviour of utter fools, but they are actually fools, which is worse.

[ThatVikRinA22]

thank you, i feel so so fed up now. the garden was a complete eyesore before we did this. we have spent 10k on making it lovely front and back.

and we have proper drainage in the drive - the gulley isnt for drainage - its because they wouldnt let us move the fucking eyesore fence posts! i just cannot win. no matter what i do i just cant win.

they are saying it needs concreting or their drive might move - well - their drive probably will but not because of mine - theirs is like cracked teeth - ancient paving slabs from 1964 - it probably will let water in but not from mine!
the stupid thing is that if they had let us take the posts up our drive would have butted up to theirs - and they didnt want that either! i cant win. im so deflated and fed up - i feel like putting the sodding house on the market and moving into the middle of nowhere. with no sodding idiots around me



i just lost it. i aksed what i could have done -given that they didnt want the fence posts taking up.

i suggested a fence with gravel boards to butt up to their drive - i would pay - but no - dont want that either.

so they dont want a fence
they dont want my drive to touch theirs because of the fence posts
but they want my drive to butt up to theirs to hold theirs in place.

fucking hell. what do people want! im surrounded by fools. i swear im going to spontaneously combust at this rate.

[ophelia275]

Why don't you just put a fence or wall up on your side (and leave them the 6 inches) and just let them get on with whatever they want to do with their side? I don't see why their garden is your problem in any way and by being overly accommodating they are just going to keep being difficult. I would just put up my own fence on my side, let them keep their 6 inches and just tell them they can deal with their own fence issues. It isn't your problem. You are responsible only for your own garden and you shouldn't be paying for theirs too!

[BlatantLies]

I am not surprised you feel so despondent. They sound awful.

I am glad your builder is supportive.

.

[StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes]

At the back, yes put your own nice fence up, put in a seat or pergola? or erect a trellis and grow a leafy plant up it to block out the neighbours cover the gap. at the front, you have offered two solutions neither suited so ignore them now. Its your boundary you can do what you like. its up to them to prove anything you have done is the cause of any future issues for their drive. Could the builders talk to them and explain the drainage stuff? sympathy our dickhead neighbours sound similar. fence blew down DH said he would do new one if they shared cost as they couldnt agree whose it was he spent all day doing a neat job while she of the smacked ares faced variety put her washing out and watched, he returned home when DH on the last panel and started looking down the line saying its not straight and its 1.5cm too much on our side. I lost it and sarcastically said 'oh thanks Dh for putting fence up while I did nowt etc etc' he told me to shut it! I refuse to speak to the wanker now.

[claudedebussy]

neighbours are the pits.

my neighbour said he'd sooner rescue the taliban before he rescued my children out of my burning house.

[alemci]

to me it seems they should have got the fence in the right place in the first place otherwise why bother. very odd behaviour. You could check the deeds but I wouldn't uproot your paving.

[reallytrulydisgusting]

"my neighbour said he'd sooner rescue the taliban before he rescued my children out of my burning house."

what a charmer. You could report him to the police for suspected Taliban connections?

OP - nothing to suggest but lots of sympathy.

[CheerfulYank]

I like your builder!

Sorry this is happening Vicar. :(

[AgathaF]

With neighbour No1 - can you put up your own fence, slightly higher than his, leaving the 6" gap. He can then do what the fuck he wants with it in his own time without it affecting you.

With neighbour No2 - could you point out that you could have chosen to have your whole driveway gravelled (as many, many people do) and it wouldn't have affected his drive. His driveway shouldn't be so poorly constructed as to depend on your driveway to support it.

Neighbours are a pain in the arse, I find. I am fully in favour of 6ft high prickly hedgeing wherever it is practically possible.

Tossers. Understand that it is jealousy on their part and try to rise above it, whilst admiring your lovely new garden. There is no law that says you have to be on speaking terms with them.

[Flisspaps]

If the boundary for wankyneighbour2 is yours, and they don't want a fence, can you not just put a fence up anyway?

Bastards.

Their drive not being able to support itself isn't your problem, so fuck 'em.

Normally I'd not be so horrible, but they're being fuckety (my auto correct has changed that from fuckers!)

The woman next door to us is forever bastarding about with the fence. It's a patchwork of battered mismatched fence panels. She's responsible for that boundary, so there is nothing we can do about it.

[Lora1982]

Neighbour number two can piss off your fence posts your decision to remove them... I wouldnt of gone to check with them idof just done it. What a pair of twatty neighbours.

[HecateWhoopass]

"we have spent 10k on making it lovely front and back.2

Maybe this is why they are being bastards.

Jealousy.

some people can't stand to see others having anything nice and want to do anything they can to take it away from them.

[Grockle]

Bloody hell, vicar. I have no advice but I have stupid, unpleasant neighbours who like to make a fuss about everything - it's a nightmare & makes life much more difficult than it needs to be (& I also have long term health problems & associated depression). Hope this all settles. Your builder is right. Look after yourself & try not to let it get to you

[ThatVikRinA22]

well i have phoned the builder and asked him to concrete it as they wanted - if i dont and their drive does move (which is will eventually as its cracked and already sunken in places before i touched mine) they will just blame me.

what has pissed me off more than anything is that i could have just taken out those twatty old fence posts and said nothing to them because its my boundary - but hey - i thought i would try and do the right thing and ask even though it wasnt their decision.

and now they realise that they got that wrong they want me to put it right - but i cant move my block paving now - its done - finished - and it finishes right where it had to because they wouldnt let me move those sodding fence posts.

neighbour 1 ive seen tonight and told him the fence is all his to move whenever. The paving has been taken up so im just waiting for him to move it now. (which he wont)
neighbour 2 im just seething about - why wait until the builders went to decide they made a mistake about the fence posts? its tough shit now and ive lost a bit of drive because of it! but im being expected to pay now so their drive doesnt move!!?!!!?!!! i asked today how their drive is my responsibility? no answer. even the builder tried to say that their drive is not my problem - what was i meant to do? never replace my drive because it holds theirs up?

im beyond livid. im beyond wound up. they know im not well and im off work. i NEVER lose my temper - but i did today. i lost my rag.

ive done everything i can to please both neighbours and its still not helped - and i think im spelling neighbours wrong....

i dont want to live on a street where no one speaks to anyone else but i feel like erecting a whacking 6 foot fence right around my house and telling them all to fuck the fuck off and when they get their to fuck a bit more for good measure.

[Snowsquonk]

Feeling your pain Vicar I also live next door to twunts.....

Regarding the fenceposts - if they are on your land, and are yours (as in, if there was a fence there it would be your fence) you don't need their permissiont to take the posts out - I completely understand why you asked them but if it's not their fence and not on their land - you can do as you please and I would ask the builder to take them out or angle grind them off at ground level then cement round/over them.

My neighbours bought their house in the knowledge that we had a tree between our drive and theirs. They waited until we went out for the day then cut the tree back to the boundary on their side - yes, I know they can legally do so, but had they ASKED first I could have explained that I was waiting for the leaves to fall and then had plans to have the tree cut right back because I knew it was overgrown. Because they hacked it about, we had no choice but to have it taken out completely - they wanted it gone because of getting leaves on their cars.....I kid you not. As soon as I've saved enough, I'm getting a rowan tree put in it's place - small, won't overhang their drive, will have lovely berries to attract the birds which will shit all over their cars instead. Revenge.

[AgathaF]

Oh yes. Shrubs, trees and prickly bushes. Lovely!

[ReluctantMother]

Just tell them all to eff off.

[Lottikins]

YABU
You can't block pave right up to the boundary you need to have some sort of soak away to cope with the water that runs off your blockpaving- not just klet it flood onto your neighbours property!!!
That is why you now require planning consent for blockpaving a drive- exactly bvecause of this drainage issue.Your neighbour is being very kind in moving the fence I would have been telling you you have to bring the edge of the paving in a bit!!!

[Wewereherefirst]

Lottie RTFT will you...

[Lottikins]

umm I have read the thread thankyou dear!
From what I can understand she * constructed the blockpaving right up to the fence , which is not allowed