To think people take it quite personally when you make different decisions to them?

[CruCru]

Recently, I've noticed that a few people have got quite huffy whenever I have done something differently to the way they did it. It's usually children related and often quite small things that soon won't matter.

Yes I've noticed that too. Just because I've made my choices doesn't mean I'm judging yours, I just don't think they are right for my family. It's never happened over anything non-child or career related.

Yes, that's what I think. It's getting to the point where I change the topic whenever we get onto certain topics with certain people.

Yep, was just moaning about this today. If you dare do things differently they get all bent out if shape. What's even worse is when they suggest you do it their way, because they think its better, and then get all weary when you don't.

Mum and Dad - I'm talking to you

People are hyper-sensitive about anything to do with their children.

Also maybe sub-consciously or even they are aware of it, there is a thought pattern of if you choose to do x despite having a full knowledge of y, it means you think y is an inferior decision. I did y as opposed to x so you think I parented in an inferior way to you are now. You are insulting my parenting..........

You CUNT.

Diets seem to be a trigger for this. The number of people who tell me I should be doing slimming world pisses me off. I'll do it my own way thanks and lose more than you

And getting offended because I won't buy fucking Cambridge diet stuff from you will only make me being loads of cakes into the office because I know you can't help yourself. Bahaha

*bring

My mother has an interesting knack of taking my decision to work pt as an explicit and aggressive attack on her decision to be a SAHM. She actually cried when I said I was increasing my hours from 2 days to 3 days per week.

Bonkersness.

Gnome my mom cried when I went to work too! And said "I just can't stand to think of your DS standing in a playpen and crying and crying with no one to hold him!" Thanks mom!

Gnome my parents are very encouraging of me working ft, but other people can't help but say things like 'but how can you stand to leave her all that time?', how is that ever a helpful thing to say to somebody? Especially someone who has already told you that they would love to reduce their hours but couldn't pay the bills if they did so (and no we don't have a lot of downsizing we could do)

Glad to hear its not just me who has these delightful comments! (Well, sorry to hear it actually, but you know what I mean )

I' think my mum thinks I should just go and harvest the money tree to pay bills and mortgage. She makes quite a big deal of the fact that she chose her children over her career, and she doesn't quite get that these days bei by in the position to make that decision is a luxury in itself. Grrr!

I've had this with a few people, although not from mum and dad (they know they'd get the Death Stare if they tried that ). Why can't people realise that each person have a different set of circumstances and that there's no one-size-fits-all-solution to problems?

YANBU

Most of the threads about bf/ff , sahm/wohm, state/private etc etc are entirely about this.

The vicious bludgeoning about people chosing differently is nearly always because they take people chosing differently as a personal criticism.

Yes. Some people are like that.

Any choice you make that differs from a choice they made is a criticism of their choice.

Any opinion you have that differs from an opinion they have is an attack upon them.

You see it on here all the time.

My mother is a demon for it. She gets really angry, proper red faced huffy tantrummy, if you don't choose to replicate her every choice in life. She sees it as an attack on her.

People are weird.

YANBU at all. My colleagues are like this followed by rants on why they couldn't possibly have done things my way. I'm learning to tune it out completely.

Then when I did stop daytime work a few years later she said "well DS will be in full time school after a year, there's hardly any point now."

It was actually because we were trying for DC2 but I didn't tell her as she's such hard work.

"I just can't stand to think of your DS standing in a playpen and crying and crying with no one to hold him!"

Sorry, but :o

Did she think you were planning to leave him at home on his own?

I think seeing how we turned out has made my mother bitterly regret her choice to stay at home with us.

She has never been remotely touchy about us all working. Even her lazy son. :o

My friend's mom is like this too. I mentioned wanting to move my washer and dryer to the basement and was treated to a long monologue about why she would never do that, what a bad idea it was...she got bizarrely defensive about it.

Another time I gave her a Christmas card with a family picture in it and she went on and on about how she didn't have any pictures of then whole family, why would she, so silly...and again, just really defensive.

I don't care where she keeps her washer or how many family photos she has.

I think she honestly did AThing. :o

I think it's a lot to do with how insecure people are about their choices, and if you decide to do the same thing, you are validating their decisions.

And basically everything Hecate said.

I've known people get really angry about choice of holiday. Like going somewhere different to them is a direct insult to them and their choices. Fucking nutters.

Oh MrsDeVere (was going to call you MrsDV but just realised that looks so grim!) not the Carnation Milk please MIL still hasn't let that one go. Thinks its the bloody universal panacea, babies need it.