Yes yes yes I know I am being unreasonable, she is her Grandmother but I just don't feel comfortable with it and the thought of it makes me a little panicky.
I've noticed that I'm becoming increasingly more protective and possessive of DD (6 months old) and I'm getting very anxious about going back to work, she will go to nursery some days and to MIL one day a week.
I don't want to drop feed so I'll explain the background...after having DD I was very poorly with PND, at my worst I couldn't pick her up, slept in a different room cos I didn't want to be near her, I just had no bond with her and I hate saying this now but I didn't want her.
I'm now better and maybe out of guilt or whatever I've now gone to the other end of the spectrum and want to be with her all the time, she is the easiest, happiest baby and looking after her is a joy and she makes me so happy so I just want to look after her. Having said that, I'm happy leaving DD with DP or DM.
I've also got an older DS and I never felt like this when he was a baby. I was a lone parent when I had him so because his dad wasn't around I had to rely on other people a lot more and leaving him never bothered me.
I know the answer to my problem is I need to get used to leaving her so I should probably start asking MIL to have her and start building it up but I just don't want to, I know it's daft but I don't feel like I want to leave her unless I have to. I enjoy being with her so why would I want to not spend time with her?
The other issue is that I don't totally trust MIL. I think she has some boundary issues when it comes to DD and her other grandchildren (my step kids) and I just don't feel comfortable with it. I know that if I leave DD with my mum she'll follow any instructions, she knows my routines etc and she follows them but MIL just seems to do what she likes.
I know that I'm being unreasonable so I don't really need everybody to tell me that, but I know I can't be the only woman in the world who has felt so anxious about leaving their baby so I suppose I'm looking for advice on how I can overcome this anxiety.