Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get a bit impatient with really fussy eaters (adults)

454 replies

atthewelles · 18/02/2013 16:25

I'm not talking about people with medical conditions which preclude certain foods from their diet or people who have anxiety issues re certain types of food/ different foods touching each other on the plate etc

But adults who just turn their noses up at anything other than plain meat and potatoes and act as if vegetables, pasta, fish, anything containing spices or garlic or cooked in a sauces is on a par with serving up roasted worms are a bit irritating - difficult to cook for and impossible to please when trying to meet up in a restaurant.

AIBU to think grown ups should at least try a few different foodstuffs and be a little bit open minded about what they're prepared to eat?

OP posts:
Picturesinthefirelight · 18/02/2013 22:20

All cheese makes me feel sick, even cheddar biscuits

I eat potatoes, plain meat, white fish (but can taste some strong fish. Bacon (not smoked) some veg, peas, swede, cabbage (not sprouts or carrots unless raw)

I hate sauces especially milky ones. Don't like tomatoes either. Don't really like pasta or rice. I do like bread ( no butter or mayonnaise)

coraltoes · 18/02/2013 22:30

I dumped a long term boyfriend cos he didn't like fish and many other items but I adore eating out, cooking, I'm a bit passionate about food, and the thought of watching him either pick at chicken or overcooked steak for rest of my life made me wake up to how mismatched we were!

DH is a wonderful eater thank god! Hehe

MarianneM · 18/02/2013 22:38

YANBU

My example which follows is of children, but it is the attitude of the parent that I find unbelievable.

I was the Sunday Times which quotes a father of two boys aged 12 and 14 saying that their school, which has banned all other drinks at school except water, should allow him to send his sons to school with smoothies or flavoured water because "The boys now often buy cans of Coke on the way home because they have drunk so little during the school day and arew thirsty".

Also: "The school has jugs of tap water on the tables at lunchtime but neither of my boys like water."

And finally: "They don't like the food at their secondary school at lunchtime - pasta with cheese sauce, curries and salads are all dishes they won't eat."

It is parents like this who raise fussy children - fussiness generally is unacceptable in my opinion. Why do we put up with it?

Smooshy · 18/02/2013 22:43

My MIL is very fussy. Basically all she eats is roast dinner, with a couple of veg and steak and chips. She always makes comments about my kids eating "horrible" stuff like garlic or curries.

We can't go out to eat with her unless it's a pub or steak house. And even then she'll usually moan that something is wrong.

She accused DH of being fussy. He doesn't like peas or baked beans. That's it!

anonymosity · 18/02/2013 22:45

I think YANBU. I am so bored by adults who make a fuss with food. It shows (in my humble opinion) a very unimaginative and unadventurous spirit, and that BORES me.

Food is one of life's great pleasures (or it can be) and not just a part of bodily functions.

I actually believe some people are missing taste buds.

Nanny0gg · 18/02/2013 22:48

Well, bully for all of you who can pretty much eat anything and everything.

I hate being fussy. It does make going out for dinner a problem. It makes me dread being invited to dinner by someone I don't know that well.

It's all very well that people saying that grown adults should be able to try anything - well I can't. If I don't like something because of smell, or having tried before and hating the taste or texture, then I will be sick at best, or heave at worst.(Childhood being forced to eat foods I didn't like)

And I made sure that I didn't force my children to eat anything, they just had to try it. If they didn't like it they didn't have to have it. One is fussy like me (but different foods) and the other eats anything.

So it isn't always nurture. And if anyone finds a cure I'd be more than grateful.

anonymosity · 18/02/2013 22:51

NannyOgg that sounds like an eating disorder of sorts, not being a fussy eater. That's quite serious. Sorry to hear about it.

Picturesinthefirelight · 18/02/2013 22:51

Huge sympathies nanny. I know just how you feel.

Picturesinthefirelight · 18/02/2013 22:52

I liken it to a phobia.

minouminou · 18/02/2013 22:53

There's a clear difference between attention-seeking fuckwittery and genuine probs - either psychological or physiological.
A much younger female relative of mine has a few food issues, but she's very polite about it - I think it's just that she's unadventurous. Often I'll make something she's never had before, and fair play to her, she'll give it a day in court. Sometimes it goes down well and other times you can see her quailing....but she'll give it a go, and she's never rude about food she turns down.
I will give almost anything a go - except for sea urchin, after hearing about it from a friend who'd tried in in Japan. He was almost puking while telling me about it.
My real pet hates are okra, aubergine and courgettes - it's the slimy-reducing-to-nothing-but-vegetal-ichor-in-your-mouth feeling that does it for me. I've tried, believe me, I've tried. Over many years. Were I to be faced with a dish made mainly from one of these guys, I wouldn't dream of kicking up a fuss, but I'd have to work around it. I couldn't eat it - but I wouldn't want all and sundry knowing about it.
Love moussaka, though, so you'll find me picking the discs o' slime out very discreetly.

CelticPixie · 18/02/2013 22:53

Fussy eaters really get on my tits. They need to get a bloody grip and grow up. One of my massive pet hates is people who say that they don't like something without having ever tried it. How can you possibly know whether or not you like it without having ever tasted it? This is a common trait of faddy eaters in my experience.

LightTheLampNotTheRat · 18/02/2013 22:57

Exactly CelticPixie - so many people say they don't like things that they haven't tried. (I know this because sometimes I ask them!) That's not being a 'super-taster' - it's just ignorant.

aldiwhore · 18/02/2013 22:58

I'm not fussy, I adore pretty much all food.

Never has a fussy eater annoyed me, not even when I've catered for one. I sometimes feel sad for them that they don't have the wiring to enjoy all the various flavours out there, on the other hand, choosing what to eat in a restaurant is pretty hard for me too, I would happily eat it all.

I have turned into a fusspot in restaurants when I've been dieting, I have also worked in restaraunts and full accept it's the customers bloody right to be fussy.

The ONLY thing I ask of anyone who I cater for is, unless it's really something you don't like, please taste it before adding mountains of salt... but even then, the only person ever to piss me off with that was a friend who didn't taste it, covered it with salt and then said it was a bit too salty - knobhead.

As an adult, in the 1st world, you have the right to choose what you want to consume... just because you keep it simple doesn't make you pathetic.

Sparklingbrook · 18/02/2013 22:59

Perhaps they don't want to taste it though? It's not compulsory. Confused

aldiwhore · 18/02/2013 23:00

Completely contrary to part of my pp... why should people feel like they have to try it? (Apart from the salt issue, so maybe IABU)

I MIGHT like skydiving, but even given the opportunity I simply don't fancy it.

LightTheLampNotTheRat · 18/02/2013 23:01

Fine, don't taste it. But don't say you don't like it - because you don't know whether you do or not.

minouminou · 18/02/2013 23:01

....or, Aldiwhore, turn down salmon because it tastes fishy, like a house guest did once.....

That particular exchange raised my dear mama's blood pressure.

minouminou · 18/02/2013 23:02

That's why I'm praising my rellie - because she'll give things a shot. She's even bagged a few recipes from me before now.

Sparklingbrook · 18/02/2013 23:03

There's nothing worse than having food forced on you with the words 'have a try it's lovely-you will like it' and the fork looming into view. Sad

babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood · 18/02/2013 23:03

YANBU

My DH is a bit like this, I'm gradually challenging it. I don't want DCs to see it as normal & nor does he. He feels sad about it & it's obvious where it started, mil is such a negative person. She'd put the same old stuff on their

minouminou · 18/02/2013 23:05

Agree with you there, Sparkling....I remember that moutabal well.
Boak.
There's nowt wrong with encouraging someone who knows they're a bit timid to broaden their palate a bit, though.

LightTheLampNotTheRat · 18/02/2013 23:05

So the analogy with skydiving is that you don't fancy trying it - so it's okay for people to not fancy trying new food? That's true, but I'm not sure it really works well in a situation where someone has cooked for you or invited you out for dinner. It's just rude to sit at someone's table and say 'I don't want to try the food you've provided'.

HoratiaWinwood · 18/02/2013 23:05

MarianneM I read that article with my eyes rolling. The father assumed that "water only" meant "not fizzy drinks" and sent smoothies instead. Twat.

aldiwhore · 18/02/2013 23:05

I do think that children should be encouraged to try a wide variety of foods.. or at the very least, certain standard staples that are healthy.

Maybe that's me having double standards, but I think once you're an adult you can eat what the hell you please. Unfortunately I could do with being a bit more fussy...

sparklingbrook I will never really understand why people do that!

babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood · 18/02/2013 23:06

YANBU

My DH is a bit like this, I'm gradually challenging it. I don't want DCs to see it as normal & nor does he. He feels sad about it & it's obvious where it started, mil is such a negative person. She'd put the same old stuff on their plates every day & if someone dare give him something different shed make a big fuss & tell him he didn't have to eat it. Planting seeds. He does try now.

It is hard for us to find nice restaurants. Literally every thing on the menu usually has at least one element he won't like/try.