To get a bit impatient with really fussy eaters (adults)

[atthewelles]

I'm not talking about people with medical conditions which preclude certain foods from their diet or people who have anxiety issues re certain types of food/ different foods touching each other on the plate etc

But adults who just turn their noses up at anything other than plain meat and potatoes and act as if vegetables, pasta, fish, anything containing spices or garlic or cooked in a sauces is on a par with serving up roasted worms are a bit irritating - difficult to cook for and impossible to please when trying to meet up in a restaurant.

AIBU to think grown ups should at least try a few different foodstuffs and be a little bit open minded about what they're prepared to eat?

Meh, fussy eaters are childish. I wouldn't invite an overtly fussy eater round for dinner but think eating out is fine as there is normally something plain on restaurant menus.

Yeah I'm with you. I believe all fussy eaters can learn to like a wide variety of foods if they really want to, if they really struggle, get some professional help. It's a proven fact that you learn to accept foods if you keep trying them. I find the really fussy eaters are quite happy to take a huge share of the favorite little extras too. Eg my brother has a huge pile of Yorkshire puddings or pigs in blankets with a roast as he doesn't like veg.

I think if you have food issues, it's your job not to make them everyone else's problem. Ie refuse dinner invitations and if friends/colleagues are going to a restaurant, arrange to meet them afterwards. Because other people want to enjoy their food without someone whining and performing all over the place.

Do people carry on like this in Spain / France / Italy etc? I suspect not.

So the food is more important than the people? That's sad Solid.

YANBU. It's the way that some uber-fussy people try to manipulate everyone they're eating with that I object to. (Obviously not every fussy person does this.) My SIL eats a very limited range of things (not because of allergies - she just doesn't like things, or won't try them). SIL will try to change everyone's restaurant plans if she thinks she won't like any of what's on offer. (And she won't - because she eats hardly anything.) The second time I met her, she phoned me in advance of our planned family meet-up to check what kind of food the restaurant offered - and to suggest that we went somewhere else instead! It was nothing very exotic - standard bistro-type place. We didn't change our plans, and she ordered steak and chips - then couldn't eat the steak because it had pepper on it or something. Every time, it's a big deal - she doesn't just deal with her fussiness in a low-key way, she makes a big fuss to everyone. Drives me crackers. My father is fussy too, but it took me years to realise - he's one of those people someone else described who thinks he eats everything, but actually is only offered a very narrow range of foods. (Unless he comes to dinner at my house...)

There are people who have phobias but I think a lot of it is people who twist 'prefer' and 'dislike'. I prefer roast potatoes to peeled, boiled but I'll eat boiled. I have a male relative who basically lives on steak, chips, ham and white bread. That's because those are his favourite foods. Eating only those foods seems childish to me - like a 5 year old picking chocolate buttons and chips!

I worked with a woman in her 30's who would only eat food that didn't touch each other on the plate.

no, solid is right - if you know you have a food issue, then you are the one who should live with the consequences. It's reasonable to expect allowances to be made for allergies, but fussiness is your choice - so don't accept invites to things that include food if food is an issue.

The problem is, after a certain number of years and family who have pandered got used to adapting to it, it won't always look like you are being unreasonable, because if you say, refuse to eat rice or pasta, then your family will never invite you for indian or chinese or italian food, or serve it. It looks like it's not a problem because other people have got used to working round you so you do'nt see the problem you are creating. Therefore the fussy person can be lulled into a false belief that they aren't being rude or difficult to ask for a change of venue or change of menu because you don't realise this isn't normal behaviour.

My parents are the fussy eaters of the old school variety, meat, potatoes, veg. My father will eat lasagne but not spag bol??. My mother will not eat anything foreign. I basically didn't try other foods unless I went to a friends or was eating out etc but I lived abroad for a few years and will try almost anything once (and only once if it is tripe, the texture was horrible, the sauce wasn't bad).

What irritates me is people saying they don't like 'fish' as if all the different varieties of fish taste the same. My friend does this and has only tried salmon - not cod, not seabass, not trout etc.

It seems from reading here though that quite a large number of people don't like garlic, it does have a strong taste (and smell) so I think people are not unreasonable in not trying it if they don't like the smell.

I like so many foods that I don't often eat due to the problems they cause my poor sensitive digestive system (I have IBS), goats cheese and caramelised onion is divine but I could only eat it on a Friday evening knowing I don't have work for the rest of the weekend, same goes for really spicy puttanesca pasta or many spicy tomato-based foods, so my colleagues think I'm odd when they see I have these foods on a Friday night out but never on a 'school night' so they think I'm a fussy eater. In fairness if we have a mid-week event I usually pretend I'm not very hungry if there's nothing suitable on the menu and then binge eat when I get home.

I take your point wrangler. I can tell the difference, I don't get frustrated with fussy eaters who are polite about it and don't express it with too much hassle in public. I do think they should still seek help though purely because their health is at risk and they are missing out on a lot of enjoyment and life experiences that sharing new foods with friends brings.

The fact is there are a LOT of fussy eaters, and the majority I know are rude about it and are oblivious to their rudeness. My daughters normal palate is frequently judged by adult fussy eaters and this is what drives me mad the most. there are just as many fussy eaters that manage to keep it quiet then i'm even more concerned about the sheer amount of fussiness in our culture.

It's something that I think is easily undone in childhood and much harder to undo as adults but is still doable.

People can eat (or not) what they like, it isnt my problem.

I will make a small effort to accommodate when cooking/choosing restaurants but I am not going to knock myself out over it.

Not my problem, not my business.

I don't know anyone with lots of food dislikes. But to me it's more important that I spend time with people I love regardless of what is being eaten TBH.

It is possible to go out and eat where there is something for everyone.

Some people are what's known as 'supertasters' which means they experience tastes more strongly than others. This may lead to them being termed 'fussy' as there will be a long list of foods they consider to be too 'tasty' to their taste buds.

The OP essentially describes a supertaster when she says "adults who just turn their noses up at anything other than plain meat and potatoes and act as if vegetables, pasta, fish, anything containing spices or garlic or cooked in a sauces is on a par with serving up roasted worms"

The presence of sauces/spices will be overwhelming to their taste buds & they get more pleasure out of plain meat than a non taster who will feel that is really bland.

Google 'supertaster' & see what sorts of foods supertasters don't like & see if that describes the annoying adults you know.

Fussy eaters are indeed childish and that is an unappealing characteristic in adults.

CalamityJ - my fussy fil will not eat pasta or rice. I hardly think those are super tasty.

My fussy SIL is not a super-taster. Super-PITA

We went to a nice posh dinner at the weekend. The DCs were on their best behaviour but it was fairly late and the portions were very enormous so I was relaxed about how much they left on their plates.

DS(4) was sitting next to a female relation in her late fifties, who from the moment we arrived was a total PITA about the food. She couldn't read the menu because the font was too small; she didn't fancy any of the starters because Melba toast is too thin and melon is a stupid starter; she didn't like the mains because she doesn't like salmon and the other options had sauce on them; when the food came it was all too big and too rich; she didn't like the wine and they were too slow to bring her lager instead; she made a big deal of scraping and stacking all our plates between courses "to make it easier for the staff"...

... all of which is fussy arsehole behaviour when you are supposed to be concentrating on socialising with members of the family you haven't seen for months.

Then while I was distracted dealing with my toddler she scooped the cream back into DS's bowl (from the plate) and stirred it in. Fuck me it looked foul. He cried. I explained to her that he doesn't like cream and you should have heard her go on about how ridiculous it is not to clear your plate and to be fussy about foods you do and don't eat. Hypocritical cowbag.

What is bland to one person is super tasty to another Flouncing. Supertasters can be able to taste the flour in the pasta which can make it unappealing. Rice also has more of a distinctive flavour than you might think.

Yabu. It's not gun having food phobias

I tend not to accept invitations to meals out with friends because of it. Often I'd love to go to socialise but I know others will make a fuss over me not eating.

I'm not saying all people who appear to be fussy eaters are supertasters & there are many examples of rude behaviour & bad manners dressed up as 'fussy eaters' but OPs original description of not liking spices/sauces etc sounds more like a supertaster than the subsequent descriptions of people just behaving badly.

I've never heard if super tasters before. I think it describes me. I can taste if there is onion in something (can only eat certain brands if hash browns for example)

Is it common for supertasters not to like cheese?

It's rude to comment on what someone else is eating & there's quite a few examples on here where people are projecting their dislikes onto other people. That's just rude. It's like saying to a friend who's wearing a new top 'urgh I wouldn't wear that'. Well no, but then no one was asking you to.

But people who have a limited range of what their taste buds can bear are not necessarily the people projecting their tastes onto others. Granted they make for PITA dinner guests but a quick check beforehand or few choices (sauce on side, couple of different vegs) can make all the difference to a supertaster not wanting to appear rude but not wanting to eat a certain flavour.

Pictures it can be strong tastes of anything so yes cheese can be disliked. Especially really cheesy cheese (mature, blue etc). Many supertasters just stick with mild cheddar or what is affectionately (!) known as plastic cheese (Kraft slices etc) as they're less 'tasty'.