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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That a present bought for yourself isn't really a proper birthday present

44 replies

Timeforabiscuit · 18/02/2013 16:09

My birthday is at a crap time of year i.e. now

While we didn't have much money I was desperate for a decent winter coat and spotted a good deal online I foolishly said to DH -"don't worry I can have it for my birthday" as justification.

I have been lovely and warm in nice winter parka - but now it's my birthday and I want a proper* present.

*Proper meaning something thoughtfully chosen

I am fully prepared to buy my own cake, cook my own birthday meal and probably make my first cup of tea - because I'm a realist and home before DH.

But this surely doesn't let DH off the hook?

OP posts:
Casmama · 18/02/2013 16:12

Whether it is or it isn't it is wat you agreed to- remember not to offer that in future.
Sorry not to be sympathetic but you got something expensive that you wanted.

andubelievedthat · 18/02/2013 16:12

well yeah but didn"t you put yourself/him on the hook ?

Psammead · 18/02/2013 16:15

I do not understand your point of view, honestly. You got something you wanted. What exactly is it you expect? I don't mean that to sound harsh, it's just that I'd much rather choose my own presents!

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 18/02/2013 16:15

You said it, unless your dh is a mind reader how is he supposed to know you didn't mean it.

UC · 18/02/2013 16:15

I've often done this. I think you're being silly.

Original poster
Timeforabiscuit · 18/02/2013 16:17

I have been dropping hints to him that i'd still like a bit of fuss on my birthday, to which DH envoked the coat clause...

It just seems a bit mean that I took the time picking out the present and he's not appearing to do anything.

OP posts:
ScentedNappyHag · 18/02/2013 16:19

You said you wanted the coat for your birthday. You got the coat for you birthday. I don't see why you'd be upset Confused

Saying that though, I think you're letting him off lightly about the cake Grin

Original poster
Timeforabiscuit · 18/02/2013 16:21

Just to clarify - I don't necessarily want anything bought for me - I just don't want the occasion to go by unremarked.

OP posts:
mmmuffins · 18/02/2013 16:23

You already have a birthday present from DH. You were the one that suggested it.

YABU.

lljkk · 18/02/2013 16:24

I think it's an adult thing, birthdays become kind of meh.

Original poster
Timeforabiscuit · 18/02/2013 16:25

I'm going to have to bow to mumsnet wisdom now aren't I?

Bugger

off to con 5 year old into wanting a bunkbed for her birthday

OP posts:
mmmuffins · 18/02/2013 16:30

Can you not just go out for dinner OP, if it's really about marking the occasion? That's how birthdays are always celebrated in my family.

Original poster
Timeforabiscuit · 18/02/2013 16:32

lljkk birthdays used to be meh - but I've had some great surprises and days out - now I have to be all grown up and adult and trade it in for a winter coat.

I hate being a grown up

ps I'm only being this childish here

OP posts:
Original poster
Timeforabiscuit · 18/02/2013 16:34

mmmuffins that was meant to be weekend just gone but DH had a heavy cold and wasn't hungry - so I got a birthday chicken shish kebab.

It was meant to be a tapas....

OP posts:
Original poster
Timeforabiscuit · 18/02/2013 16:35

I got a lie in though courtesy of MIL - a solid nights sleep is an amazing present!!

OP posts:
Francagoestohollywood · 18/02/2013 16:36

I am with Psammead. I always prefer to choose my own presents!

Francagoestohollywood · 18/02/2013 16:37

Oh gosh yes, a le in is the best present ever, at some point Smile

Francagoestohollywood · 18/02/2013 16:37

lie

SueFlaysAgainstTheDaleks · 18/02/2013 16:41

You could ask him to wrap the coat Wink

Original poster
Timeforabiscuit · 18/02/2013 16:46

sue Yes!!! seriously I would be really happy with that!

OP posts:
Original poster
Timeforabiscuit · 18/02/2013 16:48

I think I'll suggest to DH that we'll get the brakes done on the car for his birthday...

OP posts:
SillyTilly123 · 18/02/2013 16:58

I have kinda the opposite problem, my birthday is on thursday and I got a puppy back in January and I said that it can be my bday prezzie, however dp keeps going on and on about what I want but I honestly don't want anything (well I've asked for a bumbag to put all pups things in when out for a walk) I struggled thinking of what I wanted for xmas and ended up with stuff I'm not really bothered about (I suggested we didn't buy each other but he wanted stuff)

Oh and its not because I have loads of stuff already -far from it, I'm just not a material person (a pair of jeans can last me years, I had a pair on this morning I bought before I had 9 yr old dd) A lie in and breakfast in bed and him getting the kids dressed would be heaven for me. Oh and Happy Birthday.

Original poster
Timeforabiscuit · 18/02/2013 16:59

.....Just remembered I didn't mention to nursery to ask for a card

There is something wrong in requesting your own birthday card to be made isn't there?

I should save DH the bother, get onto moonpig and pick a card I like

I'm only half joking, I quiet fancy a novelty mug/keyring while i'm at it

OP posts:
cantspel · 18/02/2013 17:00

That would only be reasonable if he asked to have the breaks done for his present where as you got the coat you asked for.

I would much rather have a present i want and need than some random thing someone else thinks i might want.

Original poster
Timeforabiscuit · 18/02/2013 17:05

Smile A puppy!! You can't upstage a puppy,

I think that's what grates - i'm not a material person either - got the coat because I needed it, got a decent one because I wanted it to last until I finished doing the school run.

Birthday is tomorrow - so I've got another 5 hours to stew in woe is me.

OP posts: