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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to hate the posts on facebook about not cleaning because you are a mum!

65 replies

2anddone · 18/02/2013 12:38

I logged on Facebook yesterday and some of my friends had posted a picture with a caption saying basically. My house is a mess but I would prefer that and be able to be a good mum Hmm. I honestly think that there is no reason for your house to become a tip just because you have children! I don't mean your house should be immaculate but how hard is it to put toys away or wipe the kitchen surfaces? Today is the first day of the holidays I always make my dc stay at home for the first day of the holidays to be able to have some rest time. They are 7 and 4 and happy to play together or apart. They have been happy playing together today therefore I have cleaned my house, does this make me a bad mum? We have plans the rest of the week so will do loads of mum things then! So aibu to have cleaned my house!

OP posts:
Backtobedlam · 18/02/2013 20:07

YABU its not a status aimed at you, it's just done to make those struggling with housework/untidy house smile and feel a bit better about themselves. If you agree 'like' or 'share' if you don't move on. There's loads of things go round fb that I don't agree with, just don't dwell on it or let it bother you.

lockets · 18/02/2013 20:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MammaTJ · 18/02/2013 20:11

Come here and show me how easy it is to keep the house tidy when I have a 7 year old with ADHD and a normal 6 year old. If I leave the room the 7 year old either spreads everything around the room or starts a fight with her brother. In theory, I could manage the living room in theory but the reality is I could not keep my house in any sort of order.

You are welcome to come and show me how you would do it better any time you like.

Until such time, YABU!!

newcastle34 · 18/02/2013 20:21

Well i have copied and pasted the slow dowm mum one. I thought it was a beautiful poem. It wasn't actuaLly saying have an untidy house. It was more about washing up can wait.
I have 3dc including a 5 month old dd and I find it difficult to keep on top of things as dh does very little. (Works long hours).
However, I always make sure place is clean.

newcastle34 · 18/02/2013 20:22

Ironing is a different story!

Greensleeves · 18/02/2013 20:34

some people who say they can't understand how anyone doesn't have the time really can't understand though, because they don't DO anything other tha work, clean and bring up their kids

other families have lots of other things in their lives - painting, climbing, making things, teaching crafts, running groups, playing in bands, singing in choirs, sailing, all kinds of things

people's lives VARY, not everyone comes home from work, eats, does some cleaning, watches Silent Witness and toddles off to bed

Arisbottle · 18/02/2013 21:13

I don't do that either though, we all have very full lives but still manage to clean my house, even if that means getting up earlier than I would like.

primigravida · 18/02/2013 21:27

YANBU - that sort of thing irritates me too. I hate the assumption that you are a better mother if your house is filthy. Mothers with clean and tidy houses can actually be good mothers too. I play lots of games with my children, read to them, bake with them and keep and a mostly clean and tidy house. I know that it's harder for some parents to keep their houses clean and tidy but please don't assume that just because we have a clean house we don't play with our kids.

prayingmantisgroupie · 18/02/2013 21:47

Oh god, atthewelles, I have an acquaintance who is exactly as your first post describes. Her house is a minging, filthy shit tip. It's so bad it's bordering on dangerous, yet she truly believes, (and isn't shy about telling other people), that not having 'time' for housework means she is the World's Greatest Mother. I've had to politely decline a couple of invitations before as DH refuses to set foot in the place. Wink

penguinplease · 18/02/2013 21:52

I hate these too.. I grew up in a hoarders paradise and was so embarrassed by the state of the house I never had anyone round ever.
My mum was not a great mum who neglected the house work to spend time with me she was just lazy and literally doesn't/cannot see how horrific it is.

My children will never feel that way about their home.. its all about balance, I clean and tidy and they help.. but each to their own and I agree that you should ignore silly fb links, most of them are shite, I never even read them let alone share them.

PastaB · 18/02/2013 21:55

YANBU. I don't like those posts either.

Wewereherefirst · 18/02/2013 22:04

I wish I had the bloody energy to clean the house and I'm so disorganised it's untrue, but YANBU, a dirty house doesn't = happy/sad children. The same that a clean house doesn't = happy/sad children.

plantsitter · 18/02/2013 22:07

I don't clean because a) I can't be arsed and b) there doesn't seem much fricking point as the house seems to know it's preferred level of mess and dirt and revert to that about 5 minutes later.

I don't think I'd bother putting that on facebook though.

bottleofbeer · 18/02/2013 23:07

I much prefer a reasonably clean house but according to some of those stupid posts it makes me dull and a crap mother Grin

Sheesh, whatever!

SoleSource · 18/02/2013 23:45

Which are you, Kim or frickin Aggy?

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