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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to hate the posts on facebook about not cleaning because you are a mum!

65 replies

2anddone · 18/02/2013 12:38

I logged on Facebook yesterday and some of my friends had posted a picture with a caption saying basically. My house is a mess but I would prefer that and be able to be a good mum . I honestly think that there is no reason for your house to become a tip just because you have children! I don't mean your house should be immaculate but how hard is it to put toys away or wipe the kitchen surfaces? Today is the first day of the holidays I always make my dc stay at home for the first day of the holidays to be able to have some rest time. They are 7 and 4 and happy to play together or apart. They have been happy playing together today therefore I have cleaned my house, does this make me a bad mum? We have plans the rest of the week so will do loads of mum things then! So aibu to have cleaned my house!

OP posts:

atthewelles · 18/02/2013 13:59

If someone has a messy house and says 'oh the house is a tip. I'm hopeless at keeping it tidy' or somesuch that's fair enough.

But someone going 'oh the house is a tip. I'd much rather spend the afternoon snuggled up on the couch with DC, all of us watching The Railway Children together and eating toffee, than doing the ironing' just reeks of smug twattery.

HumphreyCobbler · 18/02/2013 14:01

This kind of thing annoys me too.

MoodyDidIt · 18/02/2013 14:06

yanbu! i hate this too

i have 2 dc, a job, and plenty of time to clean.

Pomtastic · 18/02/2013 14:06

Someone posted this on my Facebook last night. Their house is pretty bad tbf, but it doesn't bother me - not my house!

The thing is, I know she doesn't play with her children either - she freely and openly admits that she has never got down on the floor to play with them as she "doesn't have the time"

cantspel · 18/02/2013 14:12

It all depends on how you term clean, a little untidy with toys out and the odd old newspaper on the table is still clean. But if the kitchen floor hasnt been mopped this side of christmas, the loo is the colour of moldy leaves and you cant see the colour of the carpet for stains and dirt then no matter how much you play with your children you are not a good mum imo. As good mums dont let their children live in filth.

BigPantyGirl · 18/02/2013 14:17

YANBU, I hate them too. Every time i see this on fb i think to myself i must be an awful mum! Living in a dirty shithole isn't good for children. Clean up and have some pride you lazy cows
I hate dirt, mess and disorganisation. It's not that hard to keep a house clean and also have happy children.

Adversecamber · 18/02/2013 14:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

atthewelles · 18/02/2013 14:21

I grew up in a clean and tidy house and my mother was a great mother.

HollyBerryBush · 18/02/2013 14:26

My mother was OCD and we had a great time!

enjoyingscience · 18/02/2013 14:28

I think that there is no correlation between parenting ability and house cleanliness, unless you are at the extreme end of either (i.e. live in a dangerous/unhygenic environment, or one so tidy that the kids are not able to play and behave normally).

My house is a bit of a mess sometimes most of the time and tidy some of the time. My parenting remains more or less the same throughout.

Therefore both you and the facebook people are BU. :)

noisytoys · 18/02/2013 14:31

My house is pretty much always tidy but there's 4 of us in a 1.5 bed flat with very little clutter a deep clean takes less than an hour . Even in a grand mansion I wouldn't live in a mess

Original poster

2anddone · 18/02/2013 14:43

Thanks everyone! I am not judging people who do that as others have said each to their own! I am very fortunate that I get school holidays off, which is one of the main reasons we have a stay at home first day so we can all relax a bit and I can clean through. During term time my house looks clean and tidy but mainly because I get bits done here and there while dc are in bed or at weekends. I was bought up in a spotless house however my parents never really spent any time with us. I like a tidy house especially as money is tight at times so I find having places for the children to put their toys when they are finished with them means they get looked after. So many of my friends don't tidy their childrens toys away and then their children get upset when they get lost or broken. I also agree that iget really sad when people put that they prefer spending time with their dc to cleaning when I know they never do anything with them.

OP posts:

TeaandBiccies · 18/02/2013 18:03

YANBU to think a clean house is important. It doesnt take long to tidy up and put the Hoover round etc. if its done often enough it's easier to keep clean. Doing the cleaning doesn't have to mean not spending time with the children. It can be done when they aren't around (napping, out playing, visiting family).

JakeBullet · 18/02/2013 18:07

YANBU about the "mum" bit but I am notoriously disorganised which my friends know so I have no qualms about posting a silly cleaning joke. The latest one is about finding the cleaning fairy dead under my bed....silly, daft etc but a bit of fun and absolutely nothing to do with being a Mum....just being me.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 18/02/2013 18:11

I prefer stuff like what you describe to people who constantly bang on about they've just hoovered/done the dishes/the ironing/cleaned the loo with their tongue. Boring!

mrsjay · 18/02/2013 18:13

yabu to read and worry about silly facebook copy and pastes tbh what other people do or dont do in their houses shouldnt worry you ,

wordfactory · 18/02/2013 18:22

Well OP, the thing si we all have the same hours in the day and time spent on domestic chores may well be time others spend with their DC.

Be happy with your own balance and stop worrying about FB. Also stop worrying about how tidy or not others houses are! Seriously, these are such stupid things to care about.

TheCatInTheHairnet · 18/02/2013 18:30

Yanbu. The one I saw said something along the lines of, "Great mums have sticky floors, dusty shelves and happy kids." It made me go bleeeuuuurghh!!

Each to their own, but for me a happy home is one that is allowed to get messy, but also gets cleaned up. I don't want to sit down in the evening and find pb&j sandwiches squished in my sofa!

thekidsrule · 18/02/2013 19:43

op,slight of topic

but a sahm on mn with a toddler said she could not look after the toddler and clean the house,to her it was just impossible and needed a cleaner

anyway i told her she was being ridiculous and precious and to get a grip

alot of mn agreed she should get a cleaner as it was difficult

i thought it was ridiculous but have come to realise that i live a very different life to some on MN and i cant really relate to them and them to me

Arisbottle · 18/02/2013 19:46

A lot of people on here seem to live in a parallel universe. I work a 70plus hour week, raise four children and manage to clean my house - with DH.

thekidsrule · 18/02/2013 19:56

*arisbottle) yep some time im slack jawed,

countrykitten · 18/02/2013 19:57

Yabu in taking any notice at all of anything that is on FB. It is the playground of fools.

countrykitten · 18/02/2013 19:59

thekidsrule my hideous SIL has a 5 year old who is at school, she is a SAHM and also has a cleaner three days a week. She is forever saying how busy and 'rushed off her feet' she is.

bigkidsdidit · 18/02/2013 20:03

I remember that post thekidsrule it made me

thekidsrule · 18/02/2013 20:05

thank god theirs others that think the same,i was feeling very odd in my thinking

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