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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To wonder why people need to "Survive" school holidays?

321 replies

SaggyOldClothCatpuss · 18/02/2013 10:54

There are always threads about this. I've been there, done the small child phase. It's hardly life shattering! We have a garden, a playground nearby and a local beach, tv and nearby friends.
I love spending time with my Dcs, but don't feel the need to occupy them for 24 hours a day! Why would you need to survive your own kids? Hmm

OP posts:
SaggyOldClothCatpuss · 18/02/2013 12:09

Fair point well made Cory.
I suppose my thread does come from not truly thinking about others circumstances, just like the particularly venomous replies to my OP. I've been in most of those situations.

OP posts:
YouBrokeMySmoulder · 18/02/2013 12:10

I am the other way around and only just survive the school time. Up early 5.55am, rush to work, leave early, pick up kids, come home, do dinner, cubs etc, bath and bed time. Its just bloody exhausting.

This week am doing a mix of working and hols with swapped childcare from other mums and got a lie in til 8 today - it was absolutely marvellous.

We dont actually do things though - they just potter round the house while I work but they are happy enough doing that.

fromparistoberlin · 18/02/2013 12:10

why is everyone kicking seven shades of shit out of the OP

TOUCHY!!!!!

sheesh!!! you lot take thing so personally

Wine needed....

cory · 18/02/2013 12:10

I otoh love being able to go to work this afternoon/evening and leaving dc to their own devices, fromparis

and the one person in the world I do not envy is somebody who has spent all day trying to juggle a child on the spectrum who has meltdowns in public against an NT child who is sad because "we never get to go anywhere"

even pushing a blooddy wheelchair about with fit and healthy ds trailing desolately in its wake was actually quite tiring

particularly as, unlike dd's teacher, I wasn't getting that much sleep at night either

countrykitten · 18/02/2013 12:11

I think that it is a little unfair to throw the SN thing at the OP as she clearly was not talking about exceptional circumstances - I think she is being unfairly treated in general on this thread tbh.

Whoknowswhocares · 18/02/2013 12:12

Here have a Biscuit

countrykitten · 18/02/2013 12:12

I agree with you fromparistoberlin - it is weird.

BitOutOfPractice · 18/02/2013 12:12

My version of "surviving" the holidays is trying to juggle work, childcare and spending time with the kids - plus feeling guilty that I'm doing work and parenting less well as a result

Glad your life is so sorted OP

hazeyjane · 18/02/2013 12:15

'Moaning and venting'

I think you answered your own thread there, because that is what the surviving the holidays threads are about.

SaggyOldClothCatpuss · 18/02/2013 12:16

I love the fact that I'm accused of being smug and judgemental and then a lot of the posts on this thread have made raging assumptions about me! Grin have a Biscuit back!

OP posts:
bumblingbovine · 18/02/2013 12:18

Mostly I really like the holidays but that is because despite DS having ASD DH and I share out the holidays. I loved the Christmas break and was very unhappy to go back to school/work.

So in the summer we take a two week holiday all together (I always like this and look forward to it). The remaining 3-4 weeks, I take 2 days a week off (I work PT anyway so only need to take a few hours out of my holiday each week for this ) Ds takes one or two days a week off, depending on work load and holidays he has left and DS goes to a summer club one or two days a week.

This way Ds never does the same thing too many days in a row, he alternates days with me and dh and summer clubs. We sometimes arrange some things with other kids or trips out but certainly not more tha n a couple of things a week and that is interspersed with summer clubs where he gets to play with other kids a lot

We do a similar thing for this for all the other holidays too. However we

  • Have two people managaing one child (albeit with SN)
  • Jobs where we can organise the holidays like this
  • Not much money but enough to do some things out of the house
  • Allow Ds to have whole days watching TV/playing computer games sometimes (though rarely two in a row(, without any guilt

All in all I loathe ds going back to school usually, partly because of the school runs and all that stuff you have to remember as a parent of a primary school child (last minute letters etc) but mostly because he has behavioural problems there and I get tired of the constant reports of it and the worry . At home we have a peaceful time, though there are always the odd rows and problems it is usually fun overall.

I do understand how people could find it very difficult though, especially if they have little money, children who don't get one with each other, not much space, bad weather etc.

cory · 18/02/2013 12:19

untrykitten Mon 18-Feb-13 12:11:14
"I think that it is a little unfair to throw the SN thing at the OP as she clearly was not talking about exceptional circumstances - I think she is being unfairly treated in general on this thread tbh. "

but it could equally well have been "the poverty thing" or the "lack of a safe outdoors environment thing" or the "presence of drug pushers on the doorstep thing" or even the "different age of siblings thing" or the "personality clash thing"

what we are trying to say, people have lots of different reasons for feeling as they do

HappilyUnhinged · 18/02/2013 12:20

I don't see where the OP has been smug at all. Touchy nerves here sometimes, wot?!

hazeyjane · 18/02/2013 12:21

Tbh, I don't think having a child with sn is an 'exceptional circumstance', it's just life.

DowntonTrout · 18/02/2013 12:22

ER because circumstances change. I was fit and healthy until last year. Now I'm not.

My DCs are for life, my health wasn't. I can't change being a mother like someone can change a job if they choose. So right now, I'm surviving it, just. Doesn't mean I love my DCs any less, just that I find it harder.

Thingiebob · 18/02/2013 12:24

I can't work out if the poster is asking a real question or is just being a bit snippy.

Hope everyone has answered your question satisfactorily!

Bonsoir · 18/02/2013 12:25

During the school holidays one does have to organise things for ones children to do. Some people are fortunate, and have the homes/circumstances that allow DC to entertain themselves fruitfully and safely. Others have less to occupy DC within their own homes and therefore need to organise more. But the reality is that organising the holidays is quite a lot of work - throwing money at it is a solution for some, and others have to be more creative and fix up lots of play dates and picnics and swimming outings etc.

Iaintdunnuffink · 18/02/2013 12:27

It's just a phrase isn't it? A bit like you using the word hell to describe life with your kids sometimes? I can see that if someone had just been through several hellish moments that holiday then they may post about wanting to survive to let off steam. It's not actually hell and they don't actually think they're on an episode of the Walking Dead. Some with young babies may relate to being a zombie Grin

SaggyOldClothCatpuss · 18/02/2013 12:27

I'd say probably a bit of both Thingy. Snippy because I don't like the phrase in question, but happy to hear people's opinions.
The irony of the posters calling me smug and judgy and then casting nasturtiums about my own circumstances isn't lost on me either! Wink

OP posts:
tethersend · 18/02/2013 12:28

I'm not ashamed of surviving school holidays, it's one of my greatest achievements Grin

FlouncingMintyy · 18/02/2013 12:29

HappilyUnhinged
I find it very annoying when people profess "not to be able to understand" certain things because it displays a real lack of imagination or ability to put oneself into another's shoes. I don't feel defensive. I just think Saggy has been a bit daft.

My children are easy, we have money and live in London so there's always stuff to do. But I find school holidays slightly hard work because I am not free to do what I want for 5 days in a row (and as my husband works weekends that infact becomes more like 9 days on the trot). How can that be difficult to understand?

SaggyOldClothCatpuss · 18/02/2013 12:31

It's not now you and others have put it into perspective.

OP posts:
Maryz · 18/02/2013 12:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eatyouwithaspoon · 18/02/2013 12:33

I think modern day life with children is hard, juggling work, school runs, finances, taking time off in holidays, pressure to be amazing and to always be doing something fabulous.
I grew up on the biggest estate in europe in the 70's too op - LP?

Petsinmypudenda · 18/02/2013 12:34

If you can't handle being with them then in the holidays why on earth did you breed them?!

Wow...