to offer to pay for Dds friend to go on a school trip?

[Cherriesarelovely]

Dds class are going on a short residential trip later in the year. It is a big deal and all the kids have been excited about it already for ages. One of Dds best friends was at ours today. She was telling Dd that she really wants to go but her parents can't afford it. Dd felt so sad for her, as did we.

When the friend had gone home and Dd was in bed DP and I were discussing it and both agreed that we would love to be able to pay for Dds friend to go on the trip. Her family are absolutely lovely, kind, hardworking people, and we know they are genuinely very hard up. The thing is they are also very quiet, private people and we don't know the parents that well.

Do you think there is a way I could offer to do this without causing offence? Obviously this is assuming money is the issue and they don't have other reasons for not wanting her to go.

I know worra I'm fine really was sort of joking. Yes I will probably do that. Thanks everyone.

Worra, same here. The school fund will cover a day trip where parents are truly struggling to pay but it doesnt stretch to residentials. Warning of such trips goes out very early so that parents have plenty of notice and can pay in instalments if needed.

Its a lovely gesture OP, speak to the school secretary if you want to offer to pay and they can sound out if its truly financial reasons the parents have said no to the trip. Some parents simply dont like residentials.

Cherries you are lovely.

I can well imagine us using the money excuse for DS who still at 14 won't stay away overnight.

Can you chat to them about why she's not going and say that your DD is disappointed that friend isn't going. That may give you the real reason and then you can suggest they ask if the school has s hardship fund (which you can magically pay into anon)

My DD never went on her school trip away but that's because she was a bed wetter, I'm hoping my DS grows out of bed wetting before his school trip away.

Thanks for the comments and ideas, I was just feeling a bit low thinking about how unfair life is for some people and how difficult it must be if you have several children/can't find a job/have health problems which make it hard to work. We don't buy our Dd loads of stuff by any means but if she wants to try a new club, or invite a few friends for a pizza on her birthday we can do it. It's definitely not all about money obviously but when I first had Dd and was single paying for those extras would have been impossible.

So, I was thinking about that and then my DP started playing sad music and I started feeling upset for people who are struggling and for myself (selfish).because I want to help but not by patronising or being rude. Your comments have been really helpful though thank you very much!

However, Dds friend or her parents may of course have other reasons for not going!

Oooooo, you're so nice.

I say approach the school and offer the donation annoymously with no pressure if the parents simply don't want her to go.

Do come back and give us a happy ending.