To think giving a valentines card to your daughter is a bit weird?

[FatPenguin]

MIL got valentines cards for OH to give to his daughters (15 and 12 years old). He refused and said he thought it was a bit odd giving valentines card to your kids. MIL is now in a huff with him.
Do people do this?

my son made a valentines card at school for both me and EXP then when he got home he added his brother onto it aswell. he just sees it as a day to express love to the people you love. for him that means his family. ds2 and i then made a card from both of us to ds1 in return for his card. we enjoyed doing it and getting a big hug when we handed over the cards. it was lovely actually. i dont think we are weird.

I was presented one from my son that he'd make at after school club. I've been single for many years and to be honest, it just upset me rather than made me happy. Of course I pretended to DS but I just wanted to forget the whole day. I think it was a bit irresponsible of the after school club to make them. Just stick with the mother's day and xmas cards. I think it's weird and pointless to send them to/from your children/parents when the whole day is centred around romantic love.

I would find it a bit odd tbh. Fair enough if you all give cards to each other just to express general love and affection, I suppose, but I really don't get all these men giving stuff to their daughters. Why are the cards and gifts only from the dads and not from both parents? And why don't sons get them too?

Sis and I were given a little box of chocolates on Valentines every year from my dad (well, he signed it with the traditional question mark!). We found out, fairly recently, that he did it so that mum wouldnt have to "share" her box and end up with none!

But apart from that, definitely weird!

I used to think Valentines Day was only about romantic love but now we have kids and are in the USA, here it is about love, friendship and affection. DD takes 20 Valentines to school and all her class exchange cards. They make a special box to store their Valentines in - they are not full-size cards, just small ones, some with gifts attached (pencils, stickers, candy). DD makes DH and I several cards and we give one to her and smaller DS. Quite different to what I was brought up with but I am rather used to it now and find it a very kindly gesture.

I don't like it, it's Americanised rubbish. Valentine's Day is about romantic love here. Also the whole 'dads sending to their daughters' thing has echoes of romance that make me uncomfortable - it's like those father-daughter dances organised by the purity movement in America. Creepy.

Here in the U.S. it is much more encompassing. Primary aged kids often get/make them for all their classmates and parents and grandparents often give them to kids. I bought Special K strawberry cereal with chocolate bits for the kids as a treat.

The Weird Orange Man, Alex Reid, referred to his young baby daughter as his 'girlfriend' on Twitter on VD - that's v odd IMO.

To answer your post though, I got a card from my parents when I was a young girl but it kind of faded out. Wouldn't have wanted one, and it would've felt a bit strange getting one from them/DF, when i was a teenager.

My dp has always sent both dd and ds cards- but in his writing so they e always known they were from him even though he denies it, if you see what I mean. And I scatter heart shaped chocolates or something similar in their rooms for them to find. Oh, and we have a particular heart shaped pudding for dinner. But we also celebrate the first day of spring, st Patrick's day, st George's day- the opening of an envelope-any excuse chez seeker!

DH and I don't swop cards. We certainly don't send them to ds's. We all say "I love you" to each other on a regular basis, we don't need to send a card on a set dat. Bit weird IMO.

My father used to send me a valentine every year right up until he died. I treasure them as he was incredibly stiff upper lip and non-vocal about anything to do with love or affection, yet once a year he told me he loved me. Now I have DC we all send each other cards - usually home made- 8 cards were swapped in our house on Valentine's morning!! Where is the harm in telling people you love them?
The weird thing about the OP's scenario is not a father sending a card to his children but the MIL purchasing it without consultation, as though he cannot enter a newsagent himself. That's weird.

DD always sends one to me and one to DH - and this year the two of them made me a heart shaped cake to come home to.

We get one for DD from the two of us and she also gets one from MuttDog "to my mum". The dog also gets her a bar of chocolate. (Clever dog)

This year I sent her an anonymous one in the post, thinking she'd be excited by it. I wrote it with my left hand. DD took one look at it, said "I bet its from George, I recognise his handwriting" and ripped it in half . She was really pissed off - I read that one wrong didn't I?

Some right old po faces on this thread. You must always be peeping through your net curtains for paedophiles. Pre school , inappropriate for teaching children about a cultural day? Disgrace.

OK: just to clarify:
When I say we send them to all our DCs, that means our daughter and our sons.
The cards just have a design of hearts on the front, so work just as well for familial love instead of romantic love.
We sign them from us, we don't pretend they are from mystery admirers.
When I was a child, I sent one to my parents and they sent one to me (one of the things I look back on with happiness in a generally Stately Home childhood).

How to blow a sweet gesture out of proportion. Yes we get the DCs valwntines cards. I must have missed the memo about it being about romance not love.

Mind you, your MIL does need to keep her hooter out. If its not a gesture that comes instinctively from your DH it is NOT her place to buy them for him. Controlling.

I think it's a sweet thing to do.

This year, nursery made me a little Valentine's card fom my son and I took him out for a lunch and got him some sweets on the way home.

My best friend and I usually send each other a Valentine's message and go for a drink together too.

Valentine's romance and hearts and flowers and chocolates is all just a bit of silly fun. But it's a nice way of letting someone know they're special to you.

To me, personally, it's about a celebration of romantic love between couples (or potential couples) rather than just general 'love'. So I wouldn't send cards to parents/children. It's not that I think it implies a paedo emergency if people do it, it's just not something I would do, or think was really the appropriate thing to do on that particular holiday.

MIL sends my DD a valentines card - it says Granddaughter on it... I think it's very weird, and I would certainly not send ones to my DD, but traditions about holidays differ a lot across areas and communities and groups and you just get on with it.

Yes for me valentines day is about romantic love - and even then only for kids/teenagers to learn about it, but it's harmless if others think it's different.

I have 2 sons and 2 daughters I send them all valentine cards as a joke really...they know fine well its me who has sent them but the little ones giggle and say thankyou and the older ones just roll their eyes at me and shake their heads in despair at that their silly mother.DH and I don't bother with cards, he did get me some lovely flowers this year though.

My dad used to give us Valentine's cards and a marshmallow heart every year. It was cute, nothing weird and certainly not romantic. I used to give valentines to my classmates - I think it is what you make it, but it's not important enough to get into a huff about it.

Yes I think the issue here is MIL buying the cards and then going off in a huff and saying he's a bad dad for not giving them when he said it's not something he wants to do.
On another note, I feel like my parents owe me my lifetimes worth of valentines cards ...

I give DS a Valentine's card. It usually has something funny on it. I pretend it's not from me although he knows it is. I usually buy him a heart shaped cake or sweetie. It costs around £2.

We both enjoy it.

My exMIL sends him a card every year. To me it's an acknowledgement from her that she loves him and is thinking of him. It's a much appreciated gesture in a tricky family dynamic.

It has nothing to do with romantic love.

ABU. It is sweet. My dad and grandad used to always give me cards; very few others ever have!

Why does the whole valentines thing have to be just about romantic love? Surely other types of love should be celebrated too. Blood is thicker than water and all that! Most people think that Valentines sucks anyway; couples feel the pressure to give 'goodenough' gifts and be all sexy and singles feel shit for being single. I was chuffed with my 3 Valentines texts. I normally get nada..even when I was in a relationship recently I was gutted.