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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it is ridiculous that the school have confiscated MY phone????

380 replies

Slipperyslopin · 15/02/2013 16:27

DS (14) was going out last night with a friend to see a movie after school. He didn't know when it ended and then we couldn't find it on the website so I told him to take his phone so he could call me afterwards and I could collect him. He told me his phone wasn't charged, so I gave him my one. He is very trustworthy and careful and I knew he wouldn't lose it, besides I'm not on call at the moment so I wouldn't need it during the day, and I'd rather he had a way to contact me if needed. During school the phone turned on in his pocket (Iphones Angry ) and an alert went off for an update or something. His teacher heard it and confiscated the phone as they are not allowed in school, even if off. DS then had to call me from the office to say he would use his friends phone instead. All fine, fair enough I thought. However I then found out that the school policy is to keep the phone for a fortnight. I have unpredictable shift patterns and I actually do need that phone back, it has important work contacts on and is the number I am generally contacted on by whole family as we don't have a landline atm. So I went in and explained the situation and they REFUSED to return it! They've said they're keeping it for the full 2 weeks. I told them, it's a work phone, it has confidential stuff on it, it has all my work contacts and is an emergency number for DH on his passport, and as he is in France at the moment I needed that phone back. They just kept repeating that it is policy and they can't return it, I even had the head teacher tell me this! Surely it's against the law! I need that phone and they WILL NOT return it to me! What should I do? Can I get some form of legal action done here? This feels a hell of a lot like theft to me. I'm so beyond angry at them, any advice?

OP posts:
TheNebulousBoojum · 15/02/2013 17:54

That's what I wondered, rotavirusrita. But perhaps the OP started off by being furious...

usualsuspect · 15/02/2013 17:54

It's a ridiculous policy,I would kick up a fuss if it was my child's phone let alone mine.

Goldmandra · 15/02/2013 17:56

It is theft regardless of whether the OP was polite to the staff.

Not that I am defending parents who behave aggressively towards school staff. That is simply a different issue.

LaurieFairyCake · 15/02/2013 17:57

In our school the parents and the kid sign the agreement stating the policy so they are aware.

Did you sign an agreement with your child?

I'm surprised anyone is agreeing with you. It's a good rule, have you any idea how disruptive it is to deal with children 'accidentally' turning their technologies on during lessons?

Your kid deprived others from learning by turning the phone on - if there's no consequence to that then 30 of them will turn them on. That's why they have the rule.

I'm sure you or your kid will have been told this rule or he/you will have signed a behaviour contract.

Frankly I think you're a numpty for not knowing this and lending your kid your phone.

The only person I have sympathy for is the kids who didn't learn or tuned out while your kid was having his phone confiscated.

BoneyBackJefferson · 15/02/2013 17:57

Goldmandra

No one has stolen anything from anyone.

The OP's Ds should not have had a phone in school.

TheNebulousBoojum · 15/02/2013 17:57

Parents kick up a fuss when their child has been filmed by bullies, or had nasty texts sent to them in school, or when lessons are continuously disrupted by phones.
Cyber bullying often requires phone misuse in school time.

garlicbreeze · 15/02/2013 18:04

Private agreements do not override the law, no matter how many people signed them. The school's retained OP's property without permission, even refusing to give it back when asked. The school is in the wrong.

I could put up a notice saying I was entitled to all the money belonging to anyone that comes in my house. When I took yours and said "rules are rules", would you just go "all right then"?

Goldmandra · 15/02/2013 18:05

No one has stolen anything from anyone.

They are withholding property which belongs to someone else. That is stealing.

I agree that if the school rules state that phones are not allowed in school the OP's son should not have had it there. That doesn't justify the school taking any action they see fit, particularly as it was not his phone.

The school's reaction should be proportionate and all the teenagers I know would feel like their hand had been cut off if they lost the phone for just one night.

Two weeks is ridiculous and schools who treat parents with this little respect will find it hard to work in partnership with them in the future.

sweetestB · 15/02/2013 18:06

Maybe it isn't the first time OP's son has being caught using phone at school, that is why is 2 weeks confiscation perhaps

Original poster
Slipperyslopin · 15/02/2013 18:06

Ok, just returned, want to sort of firstly say that when I first went in I was expecting them to hand it over once I'd explained as I felt this was perfectly reasonable and I respected that the punishment was fair enough but would have to be changed in these circumstances, so I didn't start off by shouting Smile I went there and luckily the deputy head and some office staff were still there. I politely explained that I would be willing to give them DS's phone in exchange and deputy was lovely about it, agreed imediately and was about to do it but the office staff were having a bit of a whispered muttery conversation behind him and finally blurted out that the head wouldn't be happy at all. But deputy was great and said he'd explain and all would be fine, even went and apologised for all this and offered to let me remove and take home battery and sim card from Ds's phone if I was worried about people going through it (i wasnt with his phone, just with mine, but agreed) so all is good now. Not sure how head with react when told but ah well. Thanks to those who suggested that :)

OP posts:
rotavirusrita · 15/02/2013 18:08

Thank goodness for that......common sense reigns !

TheNebulousBoojum · 15/02/2013 18:08

So the OP and other concerned parents can challenge the school policy and get it changed. That sounds reasonable.
I wonder if the office was open and she got it back, and what she'll do next if it's locked up over half term and her work are trying to contact her. I hope she updates to let us know.

BoneyBackJefferson · 15/02/2013 18:09

It is still not theft as was explained upthread.

TheNebulousBoojum · 15/02/2013 18:09

Oh good. I'm glad it worked out. Now to change things for the future?

sweetestB · 15/02/2013 18:13

How about school challenging parents attitude in being a bad example by not encouraging their children to play by the rules and even helping them break it?

Jinsei · 15/02/2013 18:14

Glad you got it back OP. Lessons learned all round, hopefully!

BoneyBackJefferson · 15/02/2013 18:19

congrats OP.

SelfconfessedSpoonyFucker · 15/02/2013 18:28

Sounds like an excellent solution and a more effective one to take the kid's phone than the parent's.

Personally I think making parents come sign for the phone in person is a pretty good one usually, especially if it is only at a certain time of day (say for half an hour after school ends). Most parents will make it crystal clear to their kid that they don't appreciate having to do so.

BoneyBackJefferson · 15/02/2013 18:30

I feel sorry for the recption staff TBH they have to deal with all kinds of aggro from parents collecting phones.

Rosa · 15/02/2013 18:31

Honestly how petty of the school......

Rosa · 15/02/2013 18:33

Opps page was open on posts before you got it back... Well done deputy

SelfconfessedSpoonyFucker · 15/02/2013 18:33

Boney, in our school front desk aren't the ones that deal with phones.

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 15/02/2013 18:34

Offer to swap it with your son's phone

LittleChimneyDroppings · 15/02/2013 18:36

The world ( or is it just mumsnet) is full of jobsworths

There certainly seems to be a lot of them around tonight.

Cortana · 15/02/2013 18:37

"It is still not theft as was explained upthread."

So, if I took your purse, then explained I was going to give you it back in two weeks you wouldn't call the police on me? After all, it's not theft as I have intention of returning the item.

Glad it's all sorted.