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AIBU?

To think it is ridiculous that the school have confiscated MY phone????

380 replies

Slipperyslopin · 15/02/2013 16:27

DS (14) was going out last night with a friend to see a movie after school. He didn't know when it ended and then we couldn't find it on the website so I told him to take his phone so he could call me afterwards and I could collect him. He told me his phone wasn't charged, so I gave him my one. He is very trustworthy and careful and I knew he wouldn't lose it, besides I'm not on call at the moment so I wouldn't need it during the day, and I'd rather he had a way to contact me if needed. During school the phone turned on in his pocket (Iphones Angry ) and an alert went off for an update or something. His teacher heard it and confiscated the phone as they are not allowed in school, even if off. DS then had to call me from the office to say he would use his friends phone instead. All fine, fair enough I thought. However I then found out that the school policy is to keep the phone for a fortnight. I have unpredictable shift patterns and I actually do need that phone back, it has important work contacts on and is the number I am generally contacted on by whole family as we don't have a landline atm. So I went in and explained the situation and they REFUSED to return it! They've said they're keeping it for the full 2 weeks. I told them, it's a work phone, it has confidential stuff on it, it has all my work contacts and is an emergency number for DH on his passport, and as he is in France at the moment I needed that phone back. They just kept repeating that it is policy and they can't return it, I even had the head teacher tell me this! Surely it's against the law! I need that phone and they WILL NOT return it to me! What should I do? Can I get some form of legal action done here? This feels a hell of a lot like theft to me. I'm so beyond angry at them, any advice?

OP posts:
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notimetotidy · 19/02/2013 09:49

Sorry, missed the bit where she gave her son's phone in! Sorry.

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notimetotidy · 19/02/2013 09:48

Have you got your phone back?

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BoneyBackJefferson · 18/02/2013 09:36

The arguement was "won" when the OP surrendered her son's phone to the school. It was in the end a compromise both sides got what they wanted.

as for being judgemental "I feel sorry for their kids, though." is a nice bit of hypocrisy.

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hackmum · 18/02/2013 08:31

Domino: "Oh I forgot that saying 'End of' means the argument is won...

If it is so important then she should not have lent it to her irresponsible son.

The OP deliberately encouraged him to break a clear school rule and then moaned when a school policy was followed."

Well, in this case the argument was won. Sometimes issues discussed on here can be morally complicated, but this one really wasn't - morally and legally, the school had no right to keep the OP's phone. It's very very simple.

Of course some people refuse to see that, because they like nothing better than sitting in judgement about other people's parenting from their own lofty perspective of moral superiority. It must be nice for them to know that their own parenting is so perfect. I feel sorry for their kids, though.

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13Iggis · 18/02/2013 08:21

I get the idea of taking them off "persistent, disruptive offenders" but in a secondary school one child's mobile might got off in Maths, French, English, History - all in one day, yet no one teacher would remove it as only once in their class..? If your child's lessons were being interrupted regularly by phones (and think, maybe 30 children, so even if each child's only goes off once each week..) I'm sure you would expect teachers to do something about it.
This is all not connected to the legitmate use of phones to take photos of work, research facts, use as calculators, stopwatches etc, which many teachers now do.

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Arisbottle · 18/02/2013 00:06

I agree blondefriend has a sensible attitude but schools have to have black and white rules. Whilst in my lessons I am sure that pupils could use phones sensibly that could be because I am a senior member of staff with strong discipline. I have also been quite lucky in my classes. However there are staff who do not yet have such strong discipline and classes that offer a greater level of challenge than many of mine. If pupils come into my room and get used to using a phone it makes life more difficult for less established and experienced members off staff or for those staff who have more difficult classes.

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Remotecontrolduck · 17/02/2013 23:34

I like blondefriend's attitude, a sensible approach to phones in lessons and no doubt your students respect you as a teacher. I don't believe being so hardline about a bloody mobile phone is worth it. No, you don't NEED one, but there's lot of things in life you don't NEED, yet make life that bit better and easier.

Just take them off persistent, disruptive offenders. Job done.

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Feenie · 17/02/2013 22:16

What about jewellery? I've had a parent complain that her 10 year old should be allowed to wear dangly earrings if I can wear my wedding/engagement rings silly cow.

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Arisbottle · 17/02/2013 22:09

Because a growing number of people seem to think that pupils and students are equal and therefore the same rules should apply.

Having said that, teachers should set an example and should not be hypocrticial. I could not confiscate a phone if I was using mine in class.

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cricketballs · 17/02/2013 21:30

Why has this thread turned into "if teachers have phones then so should their
students?"

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Mrscupcake23 · 17/02/2013 21:04

You sound lovely blondefriend, I wish there were a few more teachers like you.

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blondefriend · 17/02/2013 20:14

I have answered my phone in a lesson. My ds has been very poorly in the past and I needed to field calls from childcare. In many cases I have had to make a quick get away, in one case in order to get to the hospital as he had been transferred by ambulance after a 999 call. I always apologized to the class and explained the circumstances.

TBH if a pupil's phone rings in my lesson, I usually raise my eyebrows as the rest of the class go "ooohhh" and the student in question goes bright red and turns it off very quickly. I will confiscate a phone being used inappropriately but actually encourage their use to take photos of experiments that the students are enthused about. As I said before my students and parents are very good and I will treat my students with respect and they give me the same in return. I'm a very lucky teacher and threads like this remind me how much.

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BoneyBackJefferson · 17/02/2013 19:34

maisejoe

More to the point how many parents would directly contact their children if it was a real emergency?
If the message is that I can't pick you up from school tonight surely that should go through the office?

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maisiejoe123 · 17/02/2013 18:50

How many times has there been a REAL emergency for anyone? Of course there is the tragic 'there has been an accident'. That has happened to me once over 50 years. Those sorts of incidents can be covered by someone calling the school and a runner being sent.

No one- kids or teachers should have their phone on unless it is literally life and death. If we allow everyone to decide what is urgent and what isnt the phones will be going every 5 mins.

A little while ago I went to a parents briefing. The loud woman in front of me was constantly on her phone queuing to see each teacher. Not only was she messing up the people who were speaking to the teacher but it is very very rude!

So when her time came (she was in front of me) she wasnt ready to complete her conversation. She put her hand up to the teacher to I presume say she would be another minute! I think she want trying to wrap it up -difficult to tell as she was speaking a different language. Anyway, the teacher stood up, pointed to me and I then sat down...

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Arisbottle · 17/02/2013 18:49

TFM said it better than me.

For a teacher to have their phone on in a lesson is worse than for a pupil because you are supposed to be setting an example. A but like a politician committing a crime or fiddling their expenses is worse, they create the rules so should keep them.

My phone is always away at work because I am aware that I can't help but check it.

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EvilTwins · 17/02/2013 18:15

Oh, I see what you mean. I also do the same - keep the phone away in both situations. This brings us back to the issue of checking the phone as habit though - I honestly think this is the case with a lot of schoolchildren. It's such an ingrained habit, they believe they can't be away from it.

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TheFallenMadonna · 17/02/2013 18:08

It's not just rude for the teacher. It is unprofessional. Thats the difference. We are not there in the same capacity as parents.

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TheFallenMadonna · 17/02/2013 18:06

I wouldn't answer my phone during my appointments with my children's teachers, because it would be very rude. In fact, I would have my phone on silent. As a teacher, I have my phone right away, because I am working.

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EvilTwins · 17/02/2013 18:03

Aris & Fallen - I fail to see how it is worse if the teacher answers the phone as opposed to the parent. In both cases it is extremely rude. I would be livid if a parent answered a call during our 5 minute appointment. Saying it's more OK for the parent than the teacher is extreme hypocrisy IMO.

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13Iggis · 17/02/2013 17:48

Eh - nothing said about teachers taking calls at p.evenings - I believe the example was someone checking their phone between appointments.

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BoneyBackJefferson · 17/02/2013 17:30

I agree that teachers are working at parents evenings, Fallen and Aris would you expect more time to be added on to your appointment if you answered your phone?

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TheFallenMadonna · 17/02/2013 17:27

I agree with Aris. One is bad manners, one is unprofessional behaviour. Teachers are working at parents' evenings.

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ilovesooty · 17/02/2013 17:27

Pupils who take phone calls in lessons are preventing the teacher working effectively in his/her professional capacity. I fail to see how a teacher taking personal calls is worse. Both are unacceptable.

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BoneyBackJefferson · 17/02/2013 17:24

Aris

Why should there be different standards?
When you have made an appointment to see me I expect your full attention in the same way that you expect mine.
If you think so little of someone that you take a phonecall whilst they are talking to you that is extremely rude, whether it be teacher, parent, doctor or judge.

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Arisbottle · 17/02/2013 17:22

Of course it us rude on both counts but for me it is worse if the doctor does it be ause he is failing in his professional capacity.

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