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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

The thread about SN should not have been deleted.

77 replies

akaemmafrost · 15/02/2013 12:48

It should be left to stand so people can see what we're up against 24/7.

I am not trying to stir anything but but I am really angry that that kind of thing is said and then it's just deleted till the next time.

I am not at all surprised at the ignorant attitudes displayed by some posters and after 6 years of it (since diagnosis) I have the hide of a rhino and fully expect to be on the receiving end of it by most people I have anything to do with including family members.

I have acceptance that I will be disbelieved and judged as a scamming, exaggerating benefits thief on behalf of my "badly brought up" "naughty" "and NOT autistic at ALL!" children.

The OP had issues with people using their child's SN to garner sympathy on MN? Well I can assure you that sympathy and understanding is thin on the ground in RL. It feels pretty good to be able to post about it here and get some caring, so I think I am going to continue to do so.

Thats why the thread should stand. So I can read the staunch defences of me and my amazing autistic children from lovely well informed MNetters.

OP posts:
TheBigJessie · 15/02/2013 17:04

Ah. I understand all now. The original thread must have been about someone who was banned a couple of years ago...

HerbyVore · 15/02/2013 17:08

And now I'm confused, and a little intrigued TheBigJessie

AmberLeaf · 15/02/2013 17:10

Me too.

freddiemisagreatshag · 15/02/2013 17:12

No the thread was what theisle put in her first post on this thread. And it was inflammatory and in my opinion rather horrible. And now she's come on here and posted the same thing again.

HerbyVore · 15/02/2013 17:12

Although, I do remember a time when HQ suggested that threads should stay to educate the numbskulls ill-informed, and the upset caused, and the subsequent withdrawal of said approach.

I do feel a bit flustered for HQ about this too actually.

MNHQ
HelenMumsnet · 15/02/2013 17:36

@HerbyVore

Although, I do remember a time when HQ suggested that threads should stay to educate the numbskulls ill-informed, and the upset caused, and the subsequent withdrawal of said approach.

I do feel a bit flustered for HQ about this too actually.

Thank you

TheBigJessie · 15/02/2013 17:38

The poster was a striking dish who advertised herself on the menu as avec cow-noises. Quite a distinctive taste as she struck the palate..

theisleofsheppey · 15/02/2013 17:42

what are you going on about?

mitmoo? who I neither know,or have ever met

TheBigJessie · 15/02/2013 17:43

freddie you're probably right. But my interpretation is less prosaic, so I like it!

TheBigJessie · 15/02/2013 17:48

Shush! She-who-can-not-be-named is the only person on this forum whose posts could ever look like the behaviour you claim to abhor, even under dim light light, without my glasses on.

And if you've never met her, how come you knew the name so quickly? Hmmm?

Where's the Columbo emoticon when you need one?

JakeBullet · 15/02/2013 17:50

I didn't see the thread in question b the OP is on here and has explained it.

I would be more pissed off about the people posting on the thread with their views of parents coping with SN "getting freebies and wrangling DLA".

Now THOSE are the names I would want to remember and not the OP who from what she says posted about things getting derailed at times. She has said herself it wasn't meant to be inflammatory but maybe read that way and gave some of the more irritating folk a voice,

Or have I for it all wrong?

theisleofsheppey · 15/02/2013 17:51

she's famous!

you should get off here and go into writing crossword clues

TheBigJessie · 15/02/2013 18:03

Don't worry Jake

Wangling DLA woman is on my spreadsheet. Unfortunately, I bet she's nc'ed now. I would nc faster than Clark Kent takes off his glasses if I were her.

isle I'd love to accept your praise, but I stole that off someone else here.

YourHandInMyHand · 15/02/2013 18:29

I am worried from reading the OP that I have missed a thread intended to goad ME? Sad I am concerned about this as I was actually accused on a thread of mentioning my DS's ASD in an OP to "garner sympathy". Angry

Original poster
akaemmafrost · 15/02/2013 18:45

yourhand Sad I suppose its possible. I have had it said to me too, ages ago but like I said in my OP I have a rhino hide for such opinions.

OP posts:
Toughasoldboots · 15/02/2013 18:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved · 15/02/2013 19:54

I'm really glad it was deleted as there is an opinion that Mumsnet doesn't delete as much as it should on disablist posts/ threads. It sounds like there has been a history of this and it's made me feel a little doubtful about mumsnet if it is the case.

SO with the posts on here and the actual deletion I feel that Mumsnet is coming out in support of disabled mums/ children/ families and I appreciate that.

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved · 15/02/2013 20:00

Punishment for anyone who suggests 'wangling dla' would be to apply for dla themselves. Took me 4 months to fill in & must be one of the hardest benefits to get. And the bar is set so high, you have to be so so poorly to get it and need far more mobility & care money to subsist than the qualifying benefit gives you... An irony indeed

YourHandInMyHand · 15/02/2013 20:33
Sad

Seems too much of a coincidence to not be about me. I wonder if putting me down for mentioning my child's disability made them feel superior? Life is hard enough without such poor concealed contempt.

Sad
montage · 15/02/2013 20:36

Didn't read the thread but glad it was deleted.

This has been a far better board to come onto since the policy about "leaving posts to educate" about SN, changed.

Now when someone posts something disablist, it gets deleted and it now feels like HQ are saying "no" to it.

HQ listened, changed their approach, and continue to think about and take feedback from, parents whose children have SN, as evidenced by the recent campaign idea. I think its great and no other forum I have been on is as far ahead as this one in actively and continually thinking about making it a board that includes parents whose children have disabilities.

amillionyears · 15/02/2013 20:47

YourHandInMyHand. I only read the thread briefly before it was deleted.
From what I can remember, she was complaining about it happening quite often.
hth

cory · 15/02/2013 20:54

I missed the thread, but I often get the feeling on here that posters think mention of SN is irrelevant to discussions, because they have no idea how having SN in the family affects every area of your life.

It's not something you can only think about every now and then, when you hit certain areas marked "SN territory", it will affect family dynamics, spending power, education, holidays, work, shopping, careers etc etc.

Which is why other posters with experience of SN usually do understand why it is relevant to a particular thread, and those with no experience may not.

ShotgunNotDoingThePans · 15/02/2013 20:58

I think it got to about page 4 before I had to leave - but I must say, to anyone not on the thread, my impression was that only two posters (the op and AN Other) were coming out with nasty stuff.

I only remember shock and disgust from everyone else. Not I think it should have stayed - just wanted to say the twattery nastiness was in the minority.

And I was rather surprised and disappointed by the flippancy of the deletion message - it wasn't a bunfight, some people were spouting offensive views and others were calling them on it.

montage · 15/02/2013 21:32

Cory makes a good point.

Original poster
akaemmafrost · 15/02/2013 21:34

That's what I meant. The disablist nonsense was minimal. The defence was strenuous. That's why I think it should have stood.

OP posts: