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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder when all this started?

31 replies

babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood · 14/02/2013 19:33

Valentines presents. I've been with DH for 11 years. We got together as a result of me sending him a valentine card. It therefore is relatively important to us. We mark it. Nice meal, flowers, chocs, some wine.

This yer I bought him his favourite, 'special' chocolates, he bought me my favourite 'special' wine. We each got a card.

All day I've been seeing fb posts about people getting iPads, phones, shoes & my own fb got a fucking shitload lot of clothes, mug etc (& a nice handmade photo album) from his new god. Even my DF bought DM a cd as well a flowers, chocs & wine.

When did this happen? When did a full on present become th order of the day? I know it doesn't affect me, but aibu to think its a bit...weird?

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PomBearWithAnOFRS · 14/02/2013 19:38

When the Hallmark company was founded probably, followed by the various marketing/ad agencies

frustratedworkingmum · 14/02/2013 19:43

what pombear said - i call it happy hallmark day. We wasn't going to do anything and i didnt get dp a card, nor him me, but he did take me out for lunch which was lovely as we don't get much time alone i think the fact it was valentines day was a coincidence Grin

Original poster
babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood · 14/02/2013 20:26

frustrated glad you had a lovely day.

No I get that it's all commercial crap, but it used to be teddies holding hearts, but clothes & iPads!? Really wtf?!

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frustratedworkingmum · 14/02/2013 20:31

my DD is in a strop with her DP because he didn't get her anything - oopsie!

curlyclaz13 · 14/02/2013 20:33

we had a row for valentines. no cards or pressies just a hormone fuelled row.

SPBInDisguise · 14/02/2013 20:38

good point actually. DH and I bought each other half a tank of LPG but when we were young and romantic I got him a CD once and that was a 'big' present.

SPBInDisguise · 14/02/2013 20:38

We call it Corporate Love Day

Original poster
babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood · 14/02/2013 20:39

Sad sorry to hear that. That's what we used to do. Many years ago, I spent all day cooking. Phone rang during starter, it was mates asking if they could come round to smoke weed ' DH said 'yeah. Come on over, we're just eating' I had a massive strop.

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Original poster
babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood · 14/02/2013 20:41

Just looked op! Db not fb & gf not god
!!!

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HecateWhoopass · 14/02/2013 20:41

Probably when people started boasting about what they got and turned it into some sort of competition Grin

We also call it a Hallmark Holiday.

don't know about you, but imo, there aren't many things less romantic than the whole country fighting to be the most romantic because the calendar says it's time to be romantic. Dysentery probably. VD actually being V.D., maybe. Your elderly gran telling you how your grandad did her so hard that her teeth shot across the bedroom...

ThedementedPenguin · 14/02/2013 20:42

It is crazy, I got my Dp a card and some chocolates, he got me a teddy and a watch.

My friend announced on fb that she got a new car and flowers. I think this is mental.

MortifiedAdams · 14/02/2013 20:43

Hahah DH went a bit mad with me because wr said we wouldnt do presents and I got him a packet of buttons Grin

I blame the Kardashians. Now everyone is materialistic.

CheerfulYank · 14/02/2013 20:46

DH that me the Downton Abbey cookbook. :)

BlatantLies · 14/02/2013 20:47

My DH and I have never done valentine presents. We usually do a card though. He does buy me surprise presents and flowers at other times of the year.

Original poster
babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood · 14/02/2013 20:48

Ha! My grandma has Alzheimer's & does actually regularly tell me things like that on a regular basis

Like I said it is key for us, I sent him a secret card & that is how we got together (4 months of simmering sexual tension was as much as i coukd bear) so it worked for us Grin But we celebrate more on 21 feb, anniversary if our first date.

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Original poster
babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood · 14/02/2013 20:49

A CAR!!!! Now my brother's haul pales

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ThisIsMummyPig · 14/02/2013 21:02

We had a policy that when we could celebrate our wedding anniversary, we stopped doing valentines. Actually it was more that we both forgot, and then pretended we didn't celebrate it on purpose.

I always hated the principal of paying double. And on Mothers day I want a lie in and something inedible home made

Original poster
babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood · 14/02/2013 21:06

mummypig I have a dilemma re Mother's Day, I want a lie in but hate breakfast in bed, hate it. DCs will be 1 & 3, so...

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JamesBexleySpeed · 14/02/2013 21:13

Genuinely don't bother here. His birthday was last week, mind is next week do it has always seemed a big silly to do cards and gifts for valentines as well. Stupidly over-commercialised now as you've said.

bedmonster · 14/02/2013 21:17

We don't do anything, though we did for the first 2 before we had DC.

What I mean is no presents of financial value. DP bought the DDs a valentines card (he does this every year and signs it with a ?, we think it's quite sweet, they make a face like Hmm), but we don't go for the big sellout presents. He got me one red rose and a card, I got him nothing. He is genuinely not bothered. I am smitten with the gesture (he can be a twonk at times but is generally lovely!)

DP is currently cooking me a nice dinner, I have bought copious amounts of booze and we will have a little rumble in the jungle a bit later Grin. VD means not much to us, to you it's a lovely significant day.

Think the big gifts and showy gifts are a lot about keeping up with the Jones's (sorry, have never understood the apostrophe business with plurals!).

As long as you have had a nice day, ignore the other stuff Smile

ThisIsMummyPig · 14/02/2013 21:21

OP. The something inedible is for when I get up. I lie in bed so that they can get it ready and on the table without waking me up.

If you have to have breakfast in bed I can recommend brioche with kids that age. Not so many crumbs, no cutlery, we get the ones with raisins in and don't heat it up - but I try and make them all go downstairs.

IsThatTrue · 14/02/2013 21:25

No idea DH sent me a picture of a little note he wrote telling me he loves me. Not even a card in sight. I hate competitive presents!

Ponderingonaquandry · 14/02/2013 21:29

I won't be bothering again. Dp decided he 'couldn't be bothered' and only told me this after I'd given him his present. Bit galling when the girls in the office were having bouquets of flowers delivered left right and centre

HoratiaWinwood · 14/02/2013 21:48

Flowers delivered to work make me sneer. You look like a twat schlepping them home on the bus anyway.

We got engaged on VDay 10 years ago Confused but have grown up since then. It's only seven weeks since Christmas FFS.

Original poster
babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood · 14/02/2013 22:00

I used to be so jealous of the delivered flowers, but I arrived home on be 1 (1 year in to relation ship) to a lovely bunch of flowers in a sawn off milk carton; we were too poor to own a vase Smile I know which I would've preferred.

I now find delivered flowers a tacky PDA & would be mortified. Oh how we grow!

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