To feel grumpy and pissed off with DH...

[Ghostie]

Do dd2 is 7 weeks and is hard work. I feel like I can't figure her out or enjoy her as she's crying/whinging most of the time. My back hurts from trying to calm her down. Dd 1 is 2 1/2 and did have colic, but not this bad. Now she is incredible and keeping me sane...then I feel guilty that I am favouring her.

Dh does do lots, but not with dd2. Asked him to have dd2 while I put dd1 to bed last night. I could hear him snapping at her twice, so I went and got her. Felt really angry that he couldn't hold it together for 5mins. He said I snap/cry, but I do it after hours or no sleep at night...not that that's good! But he was nice and appologetic this morning.

Just exhausted and down! No romance - no valentines, well i got a text message! Then this afternoon he snapped about having to spend 15 mins with dd2, while I popped to the shop and got DD1 from nursery. I pointed out that he gets to go to the pub, a stag weekend and has asked to go to the pub again tomorrow afternoon. I just want 5 poxy mins to go to the shop on my own - which is how sad my poxy life is!!! He did appologise, but said he just can't stand it - i think he means the whinging crying baby stage - in fact he hates it.

It all feels worse on a stupid day when everyone is showing off how in love they are.

And amongst all this he wants me to move back to oz with him - feeling a bit miserable!

You know, just going to the cinema with DD1, whilst he takes care of DD2 would make you feel like a new woman.

My boy did the same, he confused the pain with hunger and would suck for dear life. I think he also wanted the soothing as his tummy hurt so much. It's so hard at the time. I did feel I was loosing my sanity. Cry-sis is a great resource.

He's miserable. Everyone is. The tiny baby won't stop crying, won't settle, won't do anything helpful, DD1 is lovely but needs some loving attention too and DW has gone mental - tired, teary, angry, beyond exhausted. He can't cope so he whines about moving home dreaming about running away and then literally runs away to the pub.
The poster has to cope right now. Hubby will no doubt get better at the parenting shortly but it's the DW who's the grown-up here and staying angry isn't going to help the situation at all. Tomorrow will be more of the same but by next week it should be a bit better.

Gypsytart you've summed it up pretty well - we're miserable with the tiredness and relentlessness. In the morning I am going to book a massage to force him to cope snd for me to get a couple of hours.

Next week needs to be different!

Also didn't say originally that he did ask if it was ok to go to the pub and I said he should decide, as I am not his mum... Then I didn't like his decision - pos that is unreasonable

It's difficult to think clearly or behave rationally when overtired and stressed. Tomorrow is a new day. Go to bed if DD2 is asleep. You'll feel better tomorrow x

Ghostie my pfb was exactly the same, very colicky, clearly in pain, only ok in the bath.

DP and I used to havs identical arguments as you stated.

Please hear me, it does get better usually by 3 months. But fuck that seems such a long time when they are only a few weeks old doesnt it?

This is probably a stab in the dark but I found out by having DC2 what caused the colic. I had an over active let down, my milk came out at a rate of knots which caused him to gulp and swallow air. This meant horrific abdominal pain because it was 'stuck' to low down for me to wind it up. And man alive, trapped wind hurts.

Of on the off chance you might be in the same situation, it can be fixed!

Gypsy but here's the thing about this "Hubby will no doubt get better at the parenting shortly but it's the DW who's the grown-up here"

Unless I've misread you, when you say DW you're referring to the OP, and the thing is, the OP did not sign up to be the designated only grown-up in her house. No one is innately good at putting up with no sleep, screaming baby, etc. She is just stepping up, and he is not, and for some reason he has decided that in this area he will not step up. You don't get to do that. You don't get to decide that b/c xyz is a shit job, you will leave it to your partner. I'm sure that, as the OP describes, he's otherwise a great husband, but that doesn't make it okay for him to just unilaterally decide that for now the new baby is a shit job and he will leave it to her.

Ghostie he does sound like a good guy otherwise and I hope he snaps out of this mentality. Hope you get a good break tomorrow.

Ohforduckscske, I think that is exactly what it is I can feel the huge gulps at speed and then can't get wind up and she curls and grunts in pain. How is it fixed, how please share??

Justhad a couple of hours sleep, which feels a bot better and doing first feed of night as DH comes to bed. I agree with Lp, he does op out of worst bits or just make a big dong and dance which is NBR!