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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have been a bit freaked out by tenacious postman this AM?

59 replies

MrsBertMacklin · 14/02/2013 14:01

I live in a block of flats. Our postman buzzed the intercom this morning. I'd was just going into the shower and knew it was him, with a non-urgent parcel (DVD boxset), so decided to ignore the buzzer, assuming he'd leave a card & I could pick up parcel from the delivery office tomorrow.

He then managed to get inside the block and I could hear him asking my neighbour if she knew I was in and her saying 'not sure'. He then knocked on the door, then knocked again. I was stepping out of the shower at this point. He then banged on the door and said 'It's the postman, can you let me in, I know you are at home.'

I called out that it wasn't convenient for me to answer the door and apologised. Postman's response was, 'I know you are in, your car is outside.'.
I repeated that I was not able to open the door right now and asked him to leave the parcel outside the door, which he refused to do.
He then started saying that this was ridiculous, can you just open the door and I can be on my way, so I repeated that I was not in a position to open the door, I had just got out of the shower, could he please leave a card or wait for a few minutes, the answer to which was 'oh, for god's sake'.

AIBU to think that I don't have to answer the door to take a delivery if I don't want to? And that delivery people might consider that women at home on their own, may not want to open the door to strangers when they're only half-dressed?

OP posts:

OHforDUCKScake · 14/02/2013 16:01

You are well within your right not to answer the door.

If I dont know who it is, sometimes I dont answer simply because I cannot be fucked.

I reckon he just didnt want to be carrying a box set of DVD's around with him for the rest of his rounds.

Seabird72 · 14/02/2013 16:01

I did once rush downstairs to answer the door having just stepped out of the shower with a towel on because I knew it was the postman and felt I'd rather have my parcel than miss him and felt reasonably ok about it as he'd been my postman for years - opened the door to find a very young (rather gorgeous) new postman standing their with his mouth open. In future will always throw on a dressing gown first or risk missing him!! However I do think you should have opened the door - it only takes a few seconds to grab and parcel and sign for it and as you hadn't actually got into the shower at the time ... they have to carry these things around with them and a box set is pretty heavy.

yellowbrickrd · 14/02/2013 16:15

His behaviour was over the top but posters who mention pressure at work are correct. It's nothing to do with having to carry the thing around and all to do with the number of customers who complain that the postie left them a non-delivery card while they were at home - they have all been instructed not to allow this to happen.

He's not allowed to leave it outside in case it gets nicked and he gets the blame. So yabu not to have explained why you wouldn't answer the door.

Mmmnoodlesoup · 14/02/2013 16:35

He was very persistent wasn't he. Strange.

Do you live in north London, op? My postman is quite odd too, sounds like something he would do. Although he hasn't turned up today so my package hasn't come :(

Mmmnoodlesoup · 14/02/2013 16:36

Also to those saying poor him with paperwork and quotas - why didn't he just leave it outside the door like op asked him to?

YellowDinosaur · 14/02/2013 17:37

*I have anxiety and its taken me years to realise that a ringing phone or doorbell is not a summons that I must drop everything and run for but is an invitation for me to answer. It doesnt matter how comfortable all these posters feel about answering the door in dressing gowns/towels etc. You didnt feel comfortable and thats actually ok! Not everyone has to react the same way in every situation.

Also just because your car was there doesnt mean that you were in. You could have gone for a run/walk. You could equally have been at home but in the middle of a phone interview/asleep/on the loo/having sex/talking to a friend who was having a crisis about something. The postman didnt know whether any of the above was true, but you would expect him to assume that if someone wasnt answering the door that they had reason to. His hammering away and shouting was totally out of order IMO*

Excellent post and I totally and utterly agree

YellowDinosaur · 14/02/2013 17:38

Bold fail....

saulaboutme · 16/02/2013 14:52

Wtf! The point is you said "no,can't open the door" no. Some people can't take no for answer. And wtf, I know you're in. sounds stalky. Maybe he had to see you for his own satisfaction and you'd told him you're in the shower! Sorry to be blunt but heard some very forward, and mad shit that some guys have come out with lately thinking they're hot stuff.
What a wierdo.

pouffepants · 16/02/2013 15:23

Think I know what's happened here.

You say he somehow gained access, which prob means the neighbour let him in. The neighbour then told him to leave it outside your door, didn't want to take it in themselves.

Which is why he asked if you were in.
Now in all probability, you live in a safe area, and the neighbour was being helpful, but postie doesn't know that your neighbour isn't just intending on grabbing it the moment you've gone.

He thinks you're in re the car. That's not that weird. If you do the same walk day in day out, it's amazing the amount of useless info you gather, I could prob describe the cars of over 50% of my customers.

So he tries to get your attention, aware that he looks like he doesn't trust your neighbour if he takes it away again. Too persistent, yes, but added to the probs of trying to get in secure blocks, meet targets, and not inadvertantly accuse neighbours of being thieves, I can see how it would happen.

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