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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it is kind of smug when people say

94 replies

AThousandNamesNoneOfThemMyOwn · 13/02/2013 23:33

(Re their babies) "he just eats whatever we eat"

Don't know why. It sort of says "we're so chilled-out, we make our child fit in with our life, we cook from scratch every night,, our DC isn't fussy with food"

All my friends seem to say this and I'm not really sure why it grates. Maybe because DS (9 mths) only 'eats what we eat' part of the time, because we are busy and disorganised and sometimes only manage a pizza delivery or Indian takeaway or just toast. And because DS is going through a ridiculously fussy phase. It just isn't always practical.

OP posts:
BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 14/02/2013 09:16

My DSs eat what we eat, even takeaway curries, pizza, and DH even gave them doner kebab the other day (bit Hmm about that, I'll admit!)

Bunnyjo · 14/02/2013 09:21

Our DC both ate/eat the same as us and, yes, I did prepare meals from scratch every night...

But DD didn't sleep through until she was 3 and DS, now 20mth, doesn't sleep longer than 3 hours without waking!

So personally I find the parents that say 'Oohh my DC slept through at 6wk' smug.

dashoflime · 14/02/2013 09:25

Yeah, I never get that either. Do those people not have salt in their food? Or spices?
I'll occassionally give DS (7ms) something off my plate but it's rare Im eating anything suitable.
That's why he has jars.

BartletForTeamGB · 14/02/2013 09:27

I'm not sure why you see it as smug. DS from 6 months has always had what we have. I've had to try hard though to persuade my PIL that he really does though and that he doesn't need bland food. Sometimes eating what we eat involves eating curry and naan bread, sometimes (particularly as I have been vomiting throughout this pregnancy) we all have fish fingers for tea. It really is just the easier and lazier option to only cook one meal!

BartletForTeamGB · 14/02/2013 09:28

"Do those people not have salt in their food? Or spices? "

Why can't children have spices?! What do you think children in India eat?!

I don't cook with salt anyway, so if I want salt with something, I add it at the table. (I love very salty chips!)

maddening · 14/02/2013 09:30

But that is what we do - well ds eats what dh eats as I am veggie (which results in ds being overly interested in my food as it is different.

He and df had prawn biyriani (sp?) Last night, he eats all sorts - sometimes note sometimes less.

We did just do solids from 6mths so no purees as in blw and followed the rule of trusting his appetite (am a fussy eater with ibs so really wanted to set him up as a non fussy eater). And df makes all evening meals from scratch.

But I would never be smug about our parenting - he doesn't sleep through yet at 2 - he has turned our lives upside down and I am exhausted - just lucky the eating bit is going ok (and there's always time hey!) If you asked me to sum up having a baby I would say relentless but worth it :) I wouldn't harp on about him being a good eater.

StripeyBear · 14/02/2013 09:31

Salt isn't especially good for anyone Dashoflime

When cooking for a baby I am just a little more careful. I wouldn't normally use stock cubes or add salt to vegetables, for example, anyway. If others really want more salt, they can always add it at the table. Being mindful of salt content is certainly a lot less trouble than making an entirely separate meal.

Spices aren't an issue - herbs and spices add lots of flavour - or do you mean as in spicy-hot? I will sometimes make a separate stir fry with less chilli - you can often cool things down with yoghurt - so a spoon of chill con carne mixed with yoghurt and rice - much easier than a separate meal and perfectly nutritious.

I wouldn't give a child a jar at all - most of them aren't especially nice.

KenLeeeeeee · 14/02/2013 09:35

I say it, and it is true - but only because there is no bloody way I am organised enough to cook dinner for the kids, then dinner for me and DH and something else for the baby (9 months old). He usually naps while the bigger kids are having their dinner, so he has a small helping of whatever me and DH eat later on.

dashoflime · 14/02/2013 09:36

Ah Yoghurt, That explains a lot. Why didn't I think of that?

I don't tend to use salt in cooking either but Im mindfull it will be in packet food and takeaways.

BartletForTeamGB · 14/02/2013 09:38

I've always figured that DS gets so little salt at home that it doesn't matter if he does have an occasional salty meal, like if we are at a restaurant.

GingerPCatt · 14/02/2013 09:38

My toddler eats what we eat. He's not a big eater so it's just easier to make dinner and give him some if ours. And im way to lazy to cook two meals. I'm not bothered by sugar or salt since most of what I cook is homemade since I like to cook and its healthier and cheaper. I don't judge though, my best friend cooks just for her DS. Whatever works for you I think.

SelfRighteousPrissyPants · 14/02/2013 09:41

YABU I'm not smug I'm too lazy to cook more than one meal Wink

GadaboutTheGreat · 14/02/2013 09:46

Not smug, just getting on with life. Who has time to make seperate dinners when you have toddler & baby?
Why don't you batch cook a load of stews, pasta, pie etc and freeze half, so you can just reheat it when you're short of time. Then you can all eat the same meal knowing it's fine for baby too.

WhispersOfWickedness · 14/02/2013 09:47

I say it too. We have only tweaked our diet to make it a little healthier for us all, so they genuinely do eat what we eat!

However, I can understand the frustration, potty training is my parenting nemesis, I get all AngryAngryEnvyEnvyEnvy when parents say their dc just refused nappies and took themselves off to the toilet at the age of 2. Especially when they appear to equate intelligence with bladder and bowel control as well! ConfusedHmm

MrsOakenshield · 14/02/2013 09:49

I struggled with this as well. When I started weaning at 6 months I was still too chaotic and struggling to make any proper food for me and DH - but I didn't want to wean DD on a diet of over-salted ready meals either. Which is why I found BLW so difficult, and gave up in the end. So, I feel your pain.

But, DD is and always had been a fantastic sleeper. AHAHAHAHAHA!

Panzee · 14/02/2013 09:50

My son used to eat what we ate, now he's 3 he eats sandwiches, sausages and pasta. So much for my weaning smuggery!

5madthings · 14/02/2013 09:58

Oh dear i say this, well if people ask what my children eat i will say what we eat/whatever is offered because thats the way we have done it as i wont make more than one meal.

So yes curry, chilli, jambalaya etc included they eat the same as us. Dp made a lovely spicy sticky chicken dish the other day with rice and mango and all five liked it.
We use spices but never add salt to.cooking it can be added at the table if necessary and we use a low salt stock if i need to use stock but i always find it better to add wine instead ie shepards pie or casseroles etc

Fishandjam · 14/02/2013 10:09

Hmm. Some people are smug about it. I can say that our DCs eat what we do (though I don't tend to say it IYSWIM), but I do adjust what I make for family meals so that I know it'll be appealing to them. So lots of spag bol, chilli made with baked beans, cottage pie, mild curry, fish fingers etc, rather than blow-yer-balls-off jerk pork or chicken jalfrezi. So no smuggery at this end!

TheMightyLois · 14/02/2013 10:20

Ha, nice name Fishandjam Wink

Fishandjam · 14/02/2013 10:22

Why thank you themightylois! Yeah, we'd eat that too if the DCs wanted it Grin

Floggingmolly · 14/02/2013 10:28

It just means you're not feeding them special "baby" food, doesn't it? Even if you don't eat exactly the same meal at the same time, they eat the same broad range of food that the rest of the family eat.

ChestyLeRoux · 14/02/2013 10:30

My mum and dad used to do the fancy thing of cooking different meals for everyone and me and my db were right pains in the arse.When I was in year 9 I went through a stage of only wanting marks and spencers chow mein ready meals and my mum bought them and now looking back I think wtf Shock

As I have nowhere near the amount of money my parents have dds so if I have mcdonalds they have it.

Helltotheno · 14/02/2013 10:34

Isn't it the timeframe though? With us, we never ate at the same time as the children when they were babies so it was kind of moot; different mealtimes are as much effort as different meals, even though they ate more or less the same type of stuff we did.

Now though, you bloody bet they eat the same as us! No separate meals here and no fussy eaters welcome ta muchly! If that makes us smug, so be it Grin

amillionyears · 14/02/2013 10:35

I think it depends who says it, and what else they say.

Often, yes just fact.

But there are some parents who will try and brag about anything and everything.
And if your child isnt eating, sleeping, burping etc etc, and theirs is, then it can grate.

phlebas · 14/02/2013 10:35

ha! All my babies just ate what we ate until they were about 18 months old.

Now I have a 12yo who eats approximately three meals but would rather just eat cereal or plain pasta Hmm a 6yo with massive food phobias who eats only shreddies, pasta & pesto and peanut butter sandwiches, a 3yo who is just normal fussy and a 20 month old who currently only eats baked beans & peas.