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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this note from nursery was a bit OTT?

60 replies

StarlightMcKenzie · 13/02/2013 19:38

We got a letter at the beginning of term saying that on Wednesdays children will be taken to the library to choose a library book, and that they will continue to be changed every Wednesday.

So every Wednesday I've put her library book in her book bag and she has come home with another, that we usually read once or twice at the weekend.

Over this weekend, we all suffered with the novovirus and no book reading occured. I suggested to dd that perhaps we keep the book another week, but she insisted that we read this morning and change it.

It was all a rush and we didn't have time, and it appears we couldn't locate the book either, so her dad took her without the book.

This evening, I have just looked in her bag and seen a note saying 'From our records, it appears that dd has not returned x book yet. Please return TOMORROW. A charge of £5 is made for each lost book'.

Now I don't expect the school to have to lose resources to disorganised parents, and I think it is right that they are replaced. But it was TODAY, so I was a bit upset about the 'yet'.

And also the mention of money on the day it is usually changed, particularly as I didn't know it was compulsory to change the book every week anyway (it wasn't when my ds went to nursery 2 years ago - you could keep the book for weeks if the child was interested/enjoying it). And no money was mentioned in the original letter, nor the fact that they expected it to be returned each week.

I'm pretty upset by the note tbh, so WIBU to tell the nursery teacher this, or is this usual behaviour from nurseries and I'm just being a bit U in thinking they are all like my ds' was!?

OP posts:
Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 13/02/2013 20:22

Sure, but being changed every wednesday was not compulsory in ds' school, rather an 'opportunity to' iyswim.

Oh well. Perhaps I just completely misunderstood. I expect, knowing the parents at my dd's school that the majority probably get at least a couple of the notes per term.

Maybe I just don't know about them because the parents don't take much notice.

OP posts:
themagus · 13/02/2013 20:25

Yes this is rude so I don't blame you for being peeved.
I cannot believe people are laying into OP for posting about a banal matter, etc. Surely that goes for around 90 per cent of the threads in AIBU.

shellyf · 13/02/2013 20:25

Last year our school lost £400 worth of books due to them not being returned.Now we ask for the price of a replacement which can often be more than five pounds.

SamSmalaidh · 13/02/2013 20:26

So you didn't realise they had to change them, now you've had a note you know you do have to. The note did it's job.

If lots of the parents get the notes and ignore them, that kind of explains the tone, doesn't it?

KirstyJC · 13/02/2013 20:29

What a rude note - not surprised you are cross, I would be too! I would put the book in for tomorrow of course, but would definitely have a word with them too - maybe tell them it seems quite harsh and ask if they meant to be so rude?

Veritate · 13/02/2013 20:33

I really don't think this is reasonable conduct by the nursery.

(a) Assuming that people have lost the book when it is not even one day late is ludicrous. Parents do forget things, ffs, particularly if they've got to sort out homework, games things, books etc for more than once child, nobody's perfect. And, of course, people do get ill. Surely nurseries must be aware of that. A polite reminder is all that's needed.

(b) On purely legalistic grounds, if they haven't told parents about the £5 charge beforehand, they wouldn't be entitled to levy it anyway.

(c) Why only one week? I know they aren't reading War and Peace at nursery level, but if a child is enjoying a book and wants to keep it, shouldn't they encourage that? What if the child has SEN and needs more than a week to read it?

bonkersLFDT20 · 13/02/2013 20:34

YANBU - I think the note was unecessarily rude.

Normal practice is, that if a book is overdue, a gentle reminder is sent. People forget things. It's not nice to have someone jump down your throat without giving you a chance.

There are no fines on overdue books for children and really, only after a longer period has elapsed should they start talking about how much it is to replace lost books.

Is this a public library? Was the note sent from the library or the nursery?

I'd be miffed as well.

Pendipidy · 13/02/2013 20:36

I would presume that they mean that it is five pounds if you do not return the book at all. Not a week or day late.

DontstepontheMomeRaths · 13/02/2013 20:37

I do not find the note rude personally. It sounds like a template which is rolled out and the book/ child's name is added. Which is a shame, sometimes using a standardised letter isn't appropriate, especially for a first offence (for want of a better word).

I've worked in admin for 14 years and that's the sort of language used often. I suppose it was abrupt, I'd have probably phrased it differently but I would try not to worry about it, honestly.

Think of them as a power happy Librarian Wink

DontstepontheMomeRaths · 13/02/2013 20:38

Yes: 'Normal practice is, that if a book is overdue, a gentle reminder is sent. People forget things. It's not nice to have someone jump down your throat without giving you a chance.'

^
That would have been better. It was only one day and she's never given one back late before.

WannabeWilloughby · 13/02/2013 20:41

Is the book from nursery itself or local authority type town library? Our local authority library don't charge for overdue childrens books and it's something like 30p per day for adults.

Think it's expensive for a one day over book, given what the actual library would charge and id be tempted to just send the book back tomorrow and ignore it.

If they chase you for the money, I think u have to accept that thems the rules but you should hand the five pound in, in pennies....all that counting will give them something to do other than write unnecessarily abrupt notes. Wink

Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 13/02/2013 20:43

I don't think they were actually issuing a charge, just a warning for a charge. But I don't have a clue how many days late equals 'lost'. Perhaps someone who 'knows' the system can give me a clue?

OP posts:
Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 13/02/2013 20:44

The nursery is attached to a school, and it is the school library, though the note ended 'The nursery staff'.

OP posts:
WipsGlitter · 13/02/2013 20:45

Why don't you just ask them to explain the system?

landofsoapandglory · 13/02/2013 20:46

Why didn't you put a note in the book bag to say you hadn't read the book, or ask your DH to pass that message on?

I do think you are making an issue where there isn't one, TBH.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 13/02/2013 20:47

I'm glad my DD doesn't go to your DD's school! Not only has DD had her book for over a month, we also lost it Blush They just asked me to send in one of hers as a replacement, which I did.

Original poster
StarlightMcKenzie · 13/02/2013 20:49

That's a good idea landof. I might do that in future.

OP posts:
leftangle · 13/02/2013 20:50

This is far less trivial than lots of AIBUs. I would be upset by that note do. Yes I do get that it's probably generic but still seems over the top.

SamSmalaidh · 13/02/2013 20:51

Some of you are ridiculously oversensitive about a note asking for the return of a book Confused

DontEvenThinkAboutIt · 13/02/2013 20:59

Wow, what a lot of abrasive posters. They are telling the OP she is overreacting but then getting quite upset themselves. Ho hum.

OP. ignore the snarky posters completely and what about sending a note in to say you hadn't been told about late fees but will make sure there you return the books in time in future. I would phone the library and ounce check what, if any, late fees they charge and I would offer to reimburse the nursery this amount.

SamSmalaidh · 13/02/2013 21:00

It isn't late fees, it's a charge for a lost book. Seeing as the OP hasn't lost a book it isn't an issue.

DoctorAnge · 13/02/2013 21:16

Here we go...

aldiwhore · 13/02/2013 21:54

I hate the 'it's generic therefore fine' stance. Generic letters can still have manners.

ginmakesitallok · 13/02/2013 21:59

It's just a note.. DD2's school was closed on Monday so they had to pay for school dinners on Tuesday. She has violin lesson first thing Tuesday, wasn't there when they collected the money so handed it in after her lesson. We got a letter home on Tuesday - stating she hadn't paid for the dinner she had had, could we pay it asap and if we were having problems paying to contact them....ignore, ignore, ignore

redskyatnight · 13/02/2013 22:23

It's the same system at DS's school. They have to take the book back every week. If they've not finished it they can then take it out again. I imagine the school do it to combat the children that take a book out and it is never seen again (which happens at DD's school where they are less bothered about the books coming back).

He can take out 2 books and quite often chooses 2 hefty paperbacks, which there is no chance he is ever going to finish in a week.