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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have not made my sons lunch?

47 replies

daisydoodoo · 13/02/2013 08:12

Hes nearly 16. Ive been ill with this man flu thats going around and last night went to brd once his younger siblings were in bed. I asked him to makehis ssandwich last night.

Que this morning me going into his room every ten minutes dince 7 to get him out of bed he doesn't get up until his mate is knocking on yhe door.

He goes downstairs (im up struggling to get the younger dc 11, 6 & 3 ready, well 11 yr okd does himself) I can gear him slamming cupboards then he shouts up have you made my lunch? I told him no and that id asked him to do it lasdt night but he starts swearing and demanding cash. I tell him I haven't got any on me and he storms off to school.

I know I sound pathetic with my man fou but I have soldiered on for a week now and have got worse. Today is first day ive rung in sick to work and it aches even to type here but I needed to get this of my chest.

OP posts:
Icelollycraving · 13/02/2013 08:14

Oh dear. Sorry you aren't well but has he any cash or access to some? Could he come back for lunch?

AgentProvocateur · 13/02/2013 08:16

I'm not sure why you'd make a 16-year-old's lunch, even if you didn't have flu. You're not doing him any favours. How will he cope when he leaves home? And as for stressing out to get him up in the morning - just leave him.

I hope you feel better soon.

EllieArroway · 13/02/2013 08:17

Of course you're not BU!

Blimey - he's 16. You told him to make himself some sandwiches last night, he chose not to. So he'll have to manage without his lunch today. That was HIS choice, not yours.

Back to bed with you. And hope you feel better soon :)

OHforDUCKScake · 13/02/2013 08:17
Shock We were making our own lunch from the ages of 8. Id never even bother ask my mum if she'd made it, especially at 16!!!!!

Id not appreciate slamming, swearing and demanding money. What did his Dad say?

OHforDUCKScake · 13/02/2013 08:18

Who cares Icelolly his punishment for being a lazy mouthy so and so is hunger today! Theres no 'oh dear' about it.

Dont feel bad OP!

myBOYSareBONKERS · 13/02/2013 08:19

Going hungry might make him more responsible next time he is asked to sort his own lunch out. Not an unreasonable request - especially since you asked him to do it the previous evening.

Maybe its time he became responsible for his own lunch each day?

EllieArroway · 13/02/2013 08:21

Icelolly This is a 16 year old, not a 6 year old. He could join the army, get married & leave home if he wanted to. I think he's capable of putting some ham between bits of bread if he was that bothered about his lunch. Who cares if he hasn't got any money - he chose not to make himself lunch, so he'll just have to go hungry.

Icelollycraving · 13/02/2013 08:26

I knew someone would say he's old enough to get married :)

Littleturkish · 13/02/2013 08:26

You aren't doing him any favours by making it for him.

My brothers are 32, 30 and 22 all live at home and all have their sandwiches made for them.

It's pathetic.

The 30 year old insists that my mum cannot wear perfume, as it 'gets in his sandwiches' which makes me SO angry.

Don't enable him, it isn't nice, it isn't kind, he needs to grow up.

dramajustfollowsme · 13/02/2013 08:31

Yanbu, it wasn't like he didn't know. You spoke to him last night. He chose not to make lunch. His fault.
When I was 16, I was my mum's carer and looking after my 5 year old DSis.
He is being pathetic. He really could have helped with the younger ones too since you are not feeling well.
Go back to bed and get better soon.

MammaTJ · 13/02/2013 08:32

Actions, or in this case, lack of actions have consequences. About time he learnt that at 16 years old.

EllieArroway · 13/02/2013 08:37

That's because he is, Ice, Which makes "Oh dear, does he have any money?" a little bit silly.

Pagwatch · 13/02/2013 08:40

Honestly, my DS 2 makes pasta for his lunch every morning.
He is 16 but has SN and attends a special school.
Your son can't make a sandwich without tantrumming like a toddler and you are asking if you're unreasonable?

You need to have a big old think about why you are waiting on him as if he is a 6 year old. It's not in his best interests.

mrsjay · 13/02/2013 08:47

he is 16 you told him to make it he didnt he had a tantrum like a 2 year ol d MEh he will cope, oh and he is 16 a big boy now

Nanny0gg · 13/02/2013 08:48

My children made their own lunch as soon as they went to secondary school. They also got themselves up in the morning. Youngest had to get up before me and used to bring me a cup of tea if DH was away!
If he doesn't get up, that's his problem.

You and he need to have a chat...

mrsjay · 13/02/2013 08:48

I watched a programme last night about teens on holiday some 18yr old puked after too much drink and he had to clean it up first time ever as his mum usually cleans up his drinking vomit Shock dont be that mother

landofsoapandglory · 13/02/2013 08:54

If I had been making the younger children's lunches I would have made it, TBH because I can't see how much more energy and effort it would have taken to have packed up one more lunch.

RedHotRudieParts · 13/02/2013 09:03

Oh lordy op, id be having firm words when he gets through the door, no bugger likes a brat, however old they are !

BlackholesAndRevelations · 13/02/2013 09:03

He sounds like ab entitled and ungrateful brat. How dare he swear at you?! No, YANBU. Get well soon Flowers

AmberSocks · 13/02/2013 09:14

he might be 16 but i don see anything wrong with you making his lunch,he is still your responsibility at 16,you should of made sure he had either food or money

mrsjay · 13/02/2013 09:17

he can make a bloody sandwich at 16 though he didnt need to bang about like a brat did he, his mum isn't well he could have and should have sorted himself

5madthings · 13/02/2013 09:20

Oh fgs yanbu, if course he can make his own bloody lunch, my kids often make theirs and they are 13, 10, 8 and 4. The elder ones will help the little one.

Habanada · 13/02/2013 09:24

He sounds like my brother who is now 38 and his sense of entitlement takes the biscuit. He has his own place not far from my parents but my mum still makes food for him on demand, and he will rant if the bread is/isn't buttered when she puts it on the table and then storms out in a sulk to which she often chases him down the road to try to placate him. I'm not kidding here.

Yet they continue to enable him because they're scared of the consequences if they don't. It's pathetic.

Don't be my mother OP!! He is 16 he should be making his own sandwiches along with those of his siblings to help you out and earn his keep.

MmeLindor · 13/02/2013 09:25

He should be making lunch for everyone to give you a bit of a hand while you are ill.

YANBU

SmileAndPeopleSmileWithYou · 13/02/2013 09:25

AmberSocks Yes he is still the parents responsibility, thats why he was told to make his lunch the night before and he was asked to get out of bed in the morning.

Responsibility does not mean doing everything for them. It means ensuring they have the skills to be independent by the time they are an adult.

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