to have not made my sons lunch?

[daisydoodoo]

Hes nearly 16. Ive been ill with this man flu thats going around and last night went to brd once his younger siblings were in bed. I asked him to makehis ssandwich last night.

Que this morning me going into his room every ten minutes dince 7 to get him out of bed he doesn't get up until his mate is knocking on yhe door.

He goes downstairs (im up struggling to get the younger dc 11, 6 & 3 ready, well 11 yr okd does himself) I can gear him slamming cupboards then he shouts up have you made my lunch? I told him no and that id asked him to do it lasdt night but he starts swearing and demanding cash. I tell him I haven't got any on me and he storms off to school.

I know I sound pathetic with my man fou but I have soldiered on for a week now and have got worse. Today is first day ive rung in sick to work and it aches even to type here but I needed to get this of my chest.

Being responsible for a child doesn't mean doing everything for them!

He could have made his own lunch.

Ambersocks

He had the option for food. If he couldn't be arsed either the night before or by getting up when the op repeatedly called him then he stops being 'her responsibility' and starts being a common or garden idle and slightly thick teenager.

Did you miss the bit where the op is ill.
When did being a mother become synonymous with self flagellation and pompous martyrdom.
No wonder there are such lazy, incompetent men.

Amber, she did make sure he had food, it was in the cupboard waiting to be compiled into a sandwich. She also made sure he knew he would have to make that sandwich himself. His mum discharged her responsibility. He failed to live up to his. Op, listen to posters saying you do kids no favours doing everything for them. My parents did everything for me and it really really did me no favours when I left home!

You're ill and he is banging around sulking because you haven't made him lunch?? Swearing and demanding cash??

What a nice young man

I would be absolutely disgusted if my DS treated me like that!

OP, hope you feel better soon.

My DH's friend is over 60 and still takes his ironing round to his 80+ year old mother to do once a week .

Tell your DS to grow up.

YANBU

If you don't make a stand against this type of thing then you will be creating a very poor husband for his future wife.

"he might be 16 but i don see anything wrong with you making his lunch,he is still your responsibility at 16,you should of made sure he had either food or money"

..the fuck???

I hope you are never making him sandwiches again OP.

YADNBU! At 16 it will do him no harm at all to go hungry at lunch time for one day.

Do you wipe his bum as well ?

My 16 year old is on a training course 2 days a week at the other side of town.while we are happy to take him there it never occurred to us to make him lunch. He makes himself a cheese butty and grabs himself a couple of tangerines before he leaves.

Good god alive I feel sorry for his future partner. He can't get himself out of bed or make a sandwich, eh? Bet operating the washing machine, cleaning the toilet and making a meal are well and truly beyond him. Ace

Don't feel guilty OP I bet he is at school calling you every name under the sun and showing his mates how hard done by he is.

Tell him to grow up and sort it out.

Now I know why so many woman on here say "my dh can't do "
I think he needs to learn a few lessons fast

I didnt make the younger ones lunch. The youngest has cooked lunch at daycare. The other two were having school lunches (I got cash on the way to school). I asked ds1 last night if he wanted to make the sandwich or I could have transferred cash to his bank account last night so he could have got money out or s meal deal as he walks past a tesco express on his way to school.

Im not sure where ive gone wrong with ds1. Ds2, 11 and dd1, 6 are more capable of doing stuff for themselves than ds1. In fact ds2 (just turned 11 and in yr 6 at school) decided he wanted packed lunch and made it himself.

We normally walk to school but I drove this morning as ache so much. Came home and went bsck to bed. Must have slept for 30 mins or so. Woken up for a drink.

I must look as bad as I feel as a friend has offered to pick up ds2 and dd1 after school and take them to hers for dinner and I can pick up when I pick dd2 up from daycare.

Time to have a chat with ds1 about responsibility. I really try not to do everything for him but im obviously going wrong somewhere. Hes applied for college for september and if he gets a place I think its going to be a real wake up for him. A lot further from home and independent learning.

Oh and he can do all those things. He canmake a sandwich he can cook a meal work the washer and the dishwasher he just chooses not to unless he decides to. I know he made himself a wrap to eat lastnight as he left the cheese grater on the side and the george forman out as he toasts them!

Definitely time for a chat. I know teens can be awful little buggers for being entitled but I think he's taking the piss.

How would it be a few years down the line if he treated his gf like that?

If I found out he'd treated a gf in the sameway id go mad at him.

Ive spoken to his dad and hes going to speak to him too although not sure thats such a good idea as hes likely to feel got at and then ignore what we're trying to say.

His dad works in the city so leaves before 6 am.

I think subsequent children are sometimes easier because they want be grown up iyswim.

I think you need to gently and lovingly explain to him that he is being an utter git and that you are going to stop chasing around after him.
Make sure his alarm works and stop waking him up.
Stop making his lunch. Here's an idea - get him to make all the packed lunches.

Really truly, it is an awful thing to do to a teenager, to baby them and stop them suffering the consequences of their own stupidity.

Give yourself permission to let him fuck up, be late and not have lunch. He might learn.

I would make him no further meals at all until he apologizes! Even if that takes the next month, which it won't. I give it a week, tops.
My Mil would have made him the sandwiches. Then again, she practically breast feeds her sons who are in their forties!