to not know what unconditional parenting is?!

[GirlOutNumbered]

Just read it on a thread. I have no idea what this is?

Totally mac queen I agree, long convoluted sentences and complicated concepts to a 3 year old who has not got a clue what your on about

I follow a gentle parenting route with DS for many reasons. There's no need to shout or smack, children can be reasoned with if you take the time to understand what it is they are trying to achieve, learn or communicate by an action.

Also found that asking myself why I was saying no to something was a huge learning curve. Safety issues are obviously different, but when I started considering what DS was trying to find out from various things, it became much more relaxed for both of us.

Im not a shouter really.Can be sometimes but Im more of a gentle parent.I think some of the up stuff makes sense.

And children of four entering school unable to form sentences, is that as a result of parents speaking to their children, or not speaking to them?

People learn on a need to know basis, children learn to reason and they learn logic because they need to. If you have no expectation that they will understand you when you speak, why speak at all?

Really, pigletmania? My 3 year old can tell you the process for embalming in sequence with reasons for each part whilst correctly naming the canopic jars (he's interested in mummies), how an engine works, what condensation is, and why the sun is a secondary light source.

If you explain to them, they will listen.

We don't give children enough credit.

I cant say I agree with laqueens last post.

Mini did you consider for a sec that not all people can afford parent facing pushchairs?

Then Dom I can understand why you hold the views you do.

But rest assured that what she is doing is not UP its piss poor parenting by some one who has taken the easy option of doing nothing.

UP is by no means an easy option nor is it a cop out and its not letting your children run riot or encouraging them to think they can do what ever they want,its teaching them whats expected of them keeping them safe giving them the skills to respect others trusting them to do so when its age appropriate to do so and teaching them that all actions have natural effects or even sanctions that happen because they did what they did.

Two easy ways to explain the natural sanctions are

1. Child who is old enough to know where there dirty laundry goes who does not put it there ends up not being able to wear what they want and if they ignore polite reminders ends up with nothing to wear so has to miss social events unless they wish to attend in there pj's.they would not have to miss school as you will be aware they haven't done as required so will have a clean uniform to hand.

2.child who is often late to school will have to deal with any punishment dished out by school and due to an inability to self manage the morning routine will be woken earlier and assisted to do so until such time as they have cracked it.

Why the sun is a secondary light source.?

Scotty you can pick them up second hand for the same price as a Maclaren. A lot of people just aren't aware of the need to communicate with a child whilst they're in the buggy. I have friends that work in child care, and they all say you can tell the difference between a child who has been forward facing, and those that have been parent facing.

However, agree that the price of pushchairs generally are ridiculous.

I wasn't exactly sure but had an idea that it's to do with letting your child do what it wants. Don't suppose it applies to the parents as well. Sounds ridiculous to me.

Agree LaQueen.

So much total bollocks talked about raising children from Victorian times through to now.

All these concepts and styles are made up and written down, often by men, to instruct women to follow different styles of parenting.

And it's ALL about the money isn't it.

The only sensible child care book I read was DR Greens toddler taming.

Just do what suits you. If you have to read it and don't feel it instinctively then its usually a load of old bollocks.

I definitely dont think which pushchairs you have makes any difference tbh.

No Vivienne

Its making sure your child has the skills to be trusted to behave well.

Genuine question Sock, on scenario two, in September I will be taking three children to school, all to the same primary school and we would need to leave the house at the same time. If one child is not ready to leave and has to face the punishment of the school, all three children would be in the same situation, even if two were ready to go. How would you approach it, I can see getting the late one up earlier but if they are still on a go slow and end up being late, what do you do. It is a genuine question and something that I do now really. We have everything ready to go the night before but it is chivying the eldest to get ready.

The body,

Well the mumsnet ones rather good

Well sirboob a lot of chidren might. I guess my experiences are different as dd as ASD and dev delay and I was criticised by salt for using too much language and too long sentences. I went on the Hanen Crse which emphasised shorter sentences, emphasising te important bits. I sed to switch off when my DM used to ramble n at me and I am sre tat many kids would

I've not followed most of this but am and aghast at the number of Maryz's posts that were deleted!

Maryz, you naughty thing, what did you do?!

On the pushchairs, really, what is the evidence for that? How is using a forward facing pushchair as a factor isolated from other factors that influence the development of speech?

Please I would like to know, I have twins and never seen a parent facing pushchair for twins. My 2 yo tiwns are speaking in sentences and have a wide ranging vocabulary, preschool and others have commented on it, so its not just my perception.

sockreturning, when you talk about "removing a child from the situation", that is timeout isn't it? FWIW, I had no idea timeout was not supposed to be a good thing, but when I have done it, what it really entails is stopping whatever ds is doing and removing him. I call that timeout, but is it not?

SirBoob - for me forward facing/parent facing wasn't about the cost, it was about dd2 hating parent facing with a passion. She screamed every single time she was put into the pushchair until I gave in and got a cheap forward facing buggy which she loved. She did spend a lot of time in the sling til she got too heavy (fairly quickly since she was huge to start off with), but then I had to go to work when she was 6 months old as well. I doubt anyone can tell that she was forward facing and in childcare seeing as she's a very articulate nearly 3 year old.

Oooh, we use the natural sanctions thing all the time, although I call it accepting the consequences of their actions. Maybe I'm more UP than I realised?

Blueberry,

Its simple you leave at the time you need to leave regardless of the readiness of them. A few times you may need to have uniform to hand just incase ones still only wearing vest and pants.

During the holidays as often as you can have dummy runs basicly dry run the required morning routine,make sure every member of the family who is old enough to understand the routine knows it and at the end of the holidays make certain they all know what time they are required to be at school and how long it takes and that each member knows when where and how.

The night before make sure you have shown them how much easier it is if they have stuff ready, if you notice things that delay them teach them skills to speed it up or reduce struggles.

If the children are at different school the one who causes a issue gets dropped off last.

IfNot surely timeout is when you tell the child 'you will sit there for 2 minutes and won't move until I come and get you', that's what most of the books and 'experts' like supernanny would tell you. Removing the child from a situation doesn't usually involve removing the child from all interactions, just removing them fro what they were doing. So I could remove my 2yo from the child she was hitting (hasn't happened often but it has happened) without putting her somewhere to sit by herself, she could come nd play with me, she could play somewhere else, or we could go home. None of those involve a formal time out.

Surely a sling is better than a RF pushchair?

But really, is there any evidence that shows a FF pushchair is worse than a RF one for communication? I used to always talk to DS1 who was FF, he had an amazing vocabulary range from a young age.

I think a parent who talks to their child regardless of the way they face is going to be fine and learn to speak when they are ready.