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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have found this patronising?

42 replies

FrontierFighter · 10/02/2013 23:21

So I met a guy on a night out a week ago when I was out with friends, and we have been texting back and forth for a week and decided to meet up last night.

Friends asked me Thursday if I was meeting up with him at all, so did tell them that yes we have date on Saturday night. Three of them on the night sent me good luck texts.

Now I know I sound like a heartless bitch but I just found it so patronising. It's just a date.

Also I'm only 23 (hardly on the shelf just yet!) and I had broken up with my ex of 4 months just over a month ago, so it's not like I've been single for ages and I actually enjoy life regardless of whether I am single or part of a couple.

I think maybe I found it more patronising because they are in very long term relationships and perhaps pity their single friend.

OP posts:
BambieO · 10/02/2013 23:23

I would probably do the same if you were my friend, not to be patronising but if I knew you wanted to meet someone and it would make you happy that would make me happy too so I would wish you all the luck in the world

AKissIsNotAContract · 10/02/2013 23:23

YABU they were just being nice.

BambieO · 10/02/2013 23:23

My point was they probably meant no harm and just adore you and wish you all the best in life and love :)

ApocalypseThen · 10/02/2013 23:24

Any chance they were trying to be kind and supportive and you're projecting your own insecurities on to them?

WorraLiberty · 10/02/2013 23:24

I had to read that twice because the first time I thought I'd missed something?

Are you seriously saying you found a flippant 'good luck' text patronising? Confused

PaellaUmbrella · 10/02/2013 23:25

YABU. They weren't being patronising, they were just being nice Confused

katiecubs · 10/02/2013 23:28

They are probably excited for you - they don't get to 'date' anymore you see!

YABU - you are lucky to have such nice friends.

TurquoiseCat · 10/02/2013 23:28

YABU.

They wished you luck for a first date with a man you've only met once. What did you want them to say? Hmm

BadgersNadgers · 10/02/2013 23:29

Calm down dear, it was only a text.

KB02 · 10/02/2013 23:29

YABU

ThisIsMummyPig · 10/02/2013 23:29

They probably just meant that they hoped you would have a nice night, and not meet a serial killer.

But then when I was 24 and going out with a new man texts hadn't really taken off....

OurPlanetNeptune · 10/02/2013 23:34

Not patronising at all. Just nice and thoughtful. I think you need to have a word with yourself.

YABU

TroublesomeEx · 10/02/2013 23:36

Sounds like they're excited.

I'm pretty paranoid and I don't think even I could read something negative into a good luck message before a date!

TroublesomeEx · 10/02/2013 23:37

Or perhaps they've read the worst first date thread on here and they're just letting you know they hope yours goes better.

Really. What is the problem?

ComposHat · 10/02/2013 23:47

Now I know I sound like a heartless bitch

yes you do.

and perhaps pity their single friend

Or perhaps they just wish you well

good job they didn't buy you a bunch of flowers or you'd have nutted them or something.

AnyFucker · 10/02/2013 23:49

Your friends are complete bastards and you should drop them immediately

mynewpassion · 11/02/2013 00:10

Your thinking is skewed.

suburbophobe · 11/02/2013 00:41

Be thankful you have friends who take the time to wish you well on a date.

Patronising? Seriously??

BookWormery · 11/02/2013 01:14

YABVU.

Good luck to your date.

Icelollycraving · 11/02/2013 01:22

Yabu. They sound perfectly nice. You sound a bit like hard work if friends trying to be supportive & excited for you.

Eebahgum · 11/02/2013 01:23

I know it's "just a date" but surely you want it to go well? Otherwise, what's the point in going? I doubt very much whether they meant "good luck - hope you meet your future husband & get off the shelf & join us in the happy world of ltrs" and probably meant "good luck - hope he's not a boring twat & you enjoy yourself".

Jojobump1986 · 11/02/2013 01:36

They're probably excited for you. I married quite young & there's a part of me that's a little sad that I didn't really do the whole independent woman going on dates thing. I get really excited when my single friends meet someone new, partly because I want them to be happy (whatever that looks like for them & not at all in a everyone-should-get-married-like-me way!) but also partly because I get to live vicariously through them!
Surely going on dates when you're young & single is supposed to be exciting - is it really that wrong that people who care about you want to share in the excitement too?!

Jojobump1986 · 11/02/2013 01:37

How did the date go btw? Wink

AboutThyme · 11/02/2013 01:39

They were wishing you good luck on a date. Those UTTER cunts. LTB's immediately.

EllenParsons · 11/02/2013 01:53

Yabu. Last time I went on a date two of my best friends text me good luck - didn't find it patronising at all, just showing interest in each others lives! Don't over think it.