To think their is NOTHING wrong with extended breastfeeding or wet nursing?

[Thisisaname]

Look at the comments below

I was researching extended breastfeeding and came across this.
I see nothing wrong with this, I wouldn't be 'scared' for life if I could remember being breast fed or found out I was given someone else's milk.
I think the only 'scarring' would come from going from the natural environment of being fed from something to then finding out a large majority find it sexual, not the actual feeding itself.

Rouge, I do some MNing too. Some of my comments on this thread have been made whilst DS nurses

Most of my comments on here were while I was feeding. Ds really, really likes feeding.

I think it's true that people don't realise that feeding a 4 year old is nothing like feeding a 4 week old. Even feeding an 8 month old wasn't the same as feeding a tiny baby.

And a lot of babies don't get their teeth till later - a friend's boy didn't pop his first tooth until he was almost 2.

I've been pondering the whole 'you should stop BFing when a child can walk and talk' thing - apart from it being untrue, does that insinuate that children who walk and talk later than their peers are immature and so on? And where does this idea stand in terms of BFing disabled children who will never walk or talk?

Do people who come out with stuff ever actually examine what they are saying?!

I think they are trying to rationalise the way they feel.

"it's all about the mother"- how many mothers of NTBF children have they spoken to?

"you should stop when they have teeth"- what about the babies that are born with teeth? Why are first teeth also known as 'milk teeth'?

"there aren't any benefits"- yes, there are lots.

All the reasons are so easily refuted. I think some people are saying these things because they don't feel comfortable with natural term breastfeeding but can't pinpoint why.

I suppose the reason would be different for everyone but I would guess that

-sexualisation of breasts in our culture
-the way that our society encourages children to be 'independent' from a very early age
-historically wanting women to be fertile sooner to bear more children (especially to provide heirs for royalty/wealthy families)

probably contribute quite a lot. It's very complex though.

I suppose it's been like a vicious circle; the more people disapproved of it, the less women did it in public, and the less it was seen in public, the fewer mothers realised that it was natural.

ARF at planning to feed. I have bfed for over nine years. No I didn't plan that, with ds1 I got preg at 19 and was at uni, I planned to give bfeeding a go. My mum had not managed it but I had a friend at uni who had a toddler who had fed him for 12mths sand she was positive about it. Fs1 was a natural and fed for 18mths when he weaned himself.

Ds2 I wanted to bfeed no plans for how long. He fed for almost four yrs. I had ds3 when he was two and ended up tandem feeding. Not planned at all. Then I had ds4 when feeding ds3.

Its just the way it worked out.

And yes feeding a toddler is very different from a small baby. I simply saw no reason to stop, they liked it, it meant they slept. It was easy and an instant comforter when tired/poorly/upset. Quite frankly I am quite lazy and so bfeeding and co'sleeping suited me! Dp saw that it worked and so we went with it.

I do find it very strange and SAS that something so incredibly normal is seen as something odd or icky and to have it referred to as abusive is bloody insulting.

It is definitely a cultural attitude problem. I have never understood why we say 'BF is better for your baby' when we what we are really saying is 'FF is worse for your baby'

sits back and waits to be flamed

I have come to this thread late, but can't not comment. The article isn't too bad... But the comments! E.g.:

"I breastfed my baby for 6 months and yes the bonding was great but now we are bonded and he has had all the nutritious benefit then there is no need.
Don't even get me started on wet-nursing, do people not realise that there are probably just as many female Peado's out there as males?"

And they are all like that!

Have I been living in a cosy mumsnet bubble? Do people really think like that?

And how do people who stop bf at 6 months get time to mumsnet?

I am bfing 20mo DD but DP is not very happy about it and my family are also unsupportive, so I have gone out of my way to see if there is any evidence that extended bf has negative effects. Despite a popular assumption that bf toddlers/children might be psychologically scared, more dependent, more needy or unreasonably attached to their mothers, there is no scientific evidence (that I can find) that extended bf has any of these effects or that adults with psychological problems later on in life were predominantly bfed for long periods as children.

I think that extended bf is a perfectly natural habit, entirely compatible with bringing up a well adjusted adult, but one that has fallen out of favour and out of living memory so it appears weird.

Ps an American friend asked me the other day why so many British mums stop at 6 months. Do you think it's because that's when formula marketing is allowed?

Is there a popular assumption that BF up until about 2 causes any problems at all?

I've never heard that and half my youngests family think bf is sole
Y used to alienate them no tater when you do it but there wankers.

Thumbs, I can not tell you how many times my MIL has tried to usher me into a stinky public toilet to stop me feeding in public. I used to take great pleasure in refusing and picking as public a place as I could think of to feed (although it's not as if I was flashing my tits at the baby and shouting 'Have a go on that!!!'). I am not saying it is a generation thing. I have been attacked by a 20 something woman in a pub on a sunday afternoon telling me I was disgusting and someone should call social services on me for feeding an 11mo, she also seemed quite concerned at her boyfriend seeing my boobs so maybe I was waving them about like maracas without even realising it!!!

My MIL had similar issues. She's assumed that DS has weaned, but the truth is I just stopped referring to it at all around her. I don't confirm or deny.

"Oh now come on, you've really got to stop it now. He's far too old, he's two now."

Fuck off!

I think there are lots of misconceptions re breeding.

When ds2 was 2 yes 4mths and ds3 a tiny baby I had to take ds2 for a hospital app (umbilicasl hernia they were keeping an eye on) obviously during the app I fed ds3. The consultant commented on how he was a big baby and how I couldn't possibly have enough milk for him. 9lb 5oz born and he put on about 1lb a week from birth onwards. I politely told him it was my milk that had got him that big and he would be fine.

The consultant needed to examine ds2 who got upset, once done I cuddled him and he wanted a feed. So I fed him... At which point the consultants jaw hit the floor and he said you can't be feeding him as well, you will not have enough milk for two children and he needs to be eating solid foods...

So again I politely informed him I could indeed make enough milk for two children and that ds2 did eat plenty of solid foods, he just happened to bfeed as well. He couldn't seem to get his head around it at all for a seemingly educated person. I suggested he read up a bit on breeding...

Bfeeding fgs why does my autocorrect keep correcting it to breeding..

5madthings

I hope your consultant was the same one I saw with DD2. I'd hate to think there were even more out there although I know logically that there are many, many more

thumbs it could be formula marketing but I don't think so.

A lot go back to work then or soon after, so want to get it sorted & don't feel able to express.

But I think the main thing is that they simply believe that THAT is the advice. The number of people who genuinely don't k ow that the advice is

Exclusive bf until 6 months and recommended continued feedi g until at least 2.

I think somewhere in the HV manual years ago this bit got per off. I don't think it's pushed to new mums in the first few weeks as sometimes the thought of getting to 6mo is daunting enough.

Then there's the thorny issue of weightloss. I assumed bf would be great for skin hint down, pre natal I gleefully referred to it as 'babysuction' Bub after the initial post parfumerie loss, I PUT ON weight, despite being careful. It made me very down. Then suddenly dd was 15 months & only feeding twice a day & like magic it started melting away. Only then did I find that this is really common.

It's happening now too DS is 10 mo & I'm eating crisps like I breathe air & I just can't shift it despite daily infant & toddler wrangling sessions & miles & miles of preschool marches.

Then there's the 'excuse' period. A woman is allowed to look like a new mum for a limited period & I'd suggest 6 months is the very upper limit. After that, one must be glamourous & preened & well rested etc. Breast feeding does curtail this and requires a rather repetitive separates wardrobe I find!

But mostly, mostly it's our horribly sexualised & confused society who insist on separating our children from us as young as possible & insisting that boobs are for wanting over.

Sorry if garbled, been typing on phone in between feeding, bathing tidying

5mad, perhaps autocorrect thinks it is time for you to TTc for DC4????

But mostly, mostly it's our horribly sexualised & confused society who insist on separating our children from us as young as possible & insisting that boobs are for wanting over.

Babiesinslings , I totally misread that as boobs are for wanking over.

After that, one must be glamourous & preened & well rested etc.

OMG nobody told me!!!

DD2 is 9. It's too late now isn't it?

babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood
Lots of good ideas there, it's an interesting thing to think about. I agree re he weight loss, but also have lots of non British friends and the 6 month thing is def a particularly British phenomenon. In other countries people either never get on with it and stop early or carry on til toddlerhood ( just from my cross section of aquaintances).

Btw... Re your username... Have you tried draping a big napkin over baby, head and all? That's what I did.

antipag I have FIVE children!! Hence being 5madthings! Four boys and one girl. I think I am done!! :)

Antipag
Lol that she thought her boyfriend was going to run off with you or something because he'd seen your naked boob with baby attached. Obv you are doing pretty well on the glam and groomed thing despite the breast feeding!

I have worked in a SCBU and just wanted to say that breast milk is tailored to the mother's own babies or child's needs. Breast milk produce for a 4 or 5 year old wouldn't have enough calories for an ebf baby. Also HIV is transmitted in untreated breast milk. So for me feeding other people's babies is a big no.

As you were

Filth, the lot of yer!