To think their is NOTHING wrong with extended breastfeeding or wet nursing?

[Thisisaname]

Look at the comments below

I was researching extended breastfeeding and came across this.
I see nothing wrong with this, I wouldn't be 'scared' for life if I could remember being breast fed or found out I was given someone else's milk.
I think the only 'scarring' would come from going from the natural environment of being fed from something to then finding out a large majority find it sexual, not the actual feeding itself.

[BertieBotts]

I know it sounds silly. But often I think people have this perception that what you eat/drink somehow turns into breastmilk when really it's effectively blood with the red cells taken out and more fat and protein. I know I never really thought about what it was until I read something...

[FredWorms]

Stooooooooooop

Antipag, over here!

Red wine made your milk pink?

I love that. That's bonkers. You old hippo you

[Startail]

By a year, two years old a child weighs way more than a tiny baby, so I concluded the odd drink and the odd paracetamol were hardly going to amount to a problem. Especially as older DCs feed so much less.

I did avoid aspirin as that is strictly not to be given to DCs under 16

[VisualiseAHorse]

I rarely drink anyway (pre-baby, I only drunk on nights out, maybe 1-2 times a month), so not drinking while BF was fine. I don't think the odd glass of wine will hurt the baby.

I did find however, when taking anti-psychotic tablets (which sent me to sleep for 14 hours straight and left me very dozy the next day), my LO would also be extremely sleepy, and not interested in anything. This was when he was about 4 months old and EBF. Which is why I only took 4 of the 24 I was prescribed!

[ICBINEG]

I like the idea that BM is a bit like specialised highly nutritionally enhanced sweat. Certainly the vast majority of things you put in your mouth do not come out in either your sweat or milk, both of which are made from scratch internally using energy and building blocks taken from food/drink. Similarly to sweat there are some things that do end up in it, sometimes in low ratios but sometimes concentrated up.

So it doesn't matter if you eat organic hand reared, or junk food (clearly it matters to the mum but not to the milk), but alcohol does go though in small amounts and some other things go through in much larger amounts (I have my suspicions about asparagus).

The other variable is the half life of substances in your system. Once you are feeding an older child you have many hours off during the day. So you could take some medicines/drugs and they would be essentially gone by the time you fed again. Again with an older child you are storing milk less and producing more on demand so the amount of any given drug the child will receive is far far less.

However! You should ALWAYS check with your GP as there are always exceptions, and things that can hang around or get preferentially secreted into milk.

[OxfordBags]

I don't drink because I am on long-term meds for health issues and it's contraindicated, so I can't helpon that issue. But when I started Bfing, as now, I just ate what I wanted to eat, then someone told me when he was several months old that you should avoid certain foods when BFing, like spicy stuff, mainly. Well, I like spicy, salty food and I just carried on as before. DS is a very unfussy eater (could this be part of it?!) and I just thought "Well, what about women in cultures where spicy food is the norm?! They don't avoid nearly all their normal food when BFing, surely".

[OxfordBags]

PS I do time my meds to not affect him, even though they are classified as totally fine for BFing.

[VikingLady]

Is it wrong that I now want to drink red wine and express to see my milk go pink? Wow!

Alcohol in low volumes is fine. It's only a couple of hundred years since everyone lived off beer because water wasn't safe and the human race survived.

[babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood]

viking it doesn't do that to mine I must drink cheap stuff

[WoTmania]

YANBU - I'm not going to read the link or comments as they just upset and annoy me. I know a quite a few lovely children who were BF til 4/5/6 and around 5 adults who remember breastfeeding (one remembers tandem nursing with his little sis) and a couple of teenagers who nursed well beyond the 'norm'. They're jsut the ones who've talked about it. All perfectly well-adjusted, happy confident adults/teens/older children.
I let my DC self-wean. It's not more about me and my needs (whatever the fuck that means ) than my children's needs it's just letting them stop when they've outgrown the need.

[BertieBotts]

I don't know Oxford, I certainly haven't avoided any foods and DS is super-fussy. So I don't think it makes a difference.

[EauRouge]

Red wine has a horrible effect on me but I'm willing to find out how much chocolate you need to eat before your milk becomes chocolate flavoured, in the interests of science and all that

[k2togm1]

Hi I've been reading with interest.
eaurouge I've conducted that experiment with no success... Yet.

I was also told not to eat garlic, no way I'm doing without it, or chillies and spices, and ds, although jot a great eater he likes strong flavours. Not sure if related, or more to do with eating tons of kimchi when pregnant

Funny attitudes, during the first 18 months bfing was def for both of us, it was the only thing I didn't 'fail' at; now I'd happily stop, but ds thinks otherwise. I just wish he would keep it a bit more private, instead he demands it anywhere anytime...

[VikingLady]

DD is happy to feed from me after garlic, strong curries - anything really.

[ICBINEG]

Gah! Don't ask, don't refuse is NOT working out well for me!

DD is opting for nothing 1 day then 3 feeds the next then nothing....my boobs hurt!

[Goldmandra]

I see nothing wrong with making a BF part of your normal routine and offering it at the appropriate time. You don't worry about offering other food and drinks throughout the day so why bmilk?

If don't offer/don't refuse isn't working for you it isn't working for your DD either. You would be doing noting wrong by changing your approach for your own comfort!

[ICBINEG]

Yup went with suggesting milk last night. very very gentle suggestion.

Got mugged for milk this morning too.

I hadn't realised how much I will miss it!

[Goldmandra]

Trust yourself. You are a really good mum who is doing the very best she can for her child.

I still miss it a bit now and then 6 years later. It was a very special time for me and the DDs.

Enjoy it because you both deserve to.

[OxfordBags]

ICBINEG, she enjoys it, you enjoy it, I don't understand your focus on cutting down and so forth. It's a very special thing, when it's working well and you can't have it again when she's older, so just go with the flow (sorry for the pun!), trust your instincts and don't worry about what you 'should' be doing. You sound really thoughtful and caring, you just enjoy nursing that lovely girl :)

[Dahlen]

It's been fascinating reading this thread and seeing the different opinions. I BF my DC until weaning. Extending it would not have been an option for me and TBH I was glad to 'reclaim' my body (as I felt about it at the time).

But I'd have no problem with any mother choosing to extend BFing. It's something that evolution has adapted women and children's body for, after all. How on earth can it be wrong?

Wet nursing is far more complicated, but I'd imagine that it's impossible to make a blanket judgement anyway. Every instance of it will be different in some way.

Ultimately, we are fortunate to live in a world where FF offers a real, high-quality alternative to BFing for those unable/unwilling to do it for whatever reason. Every mother is different, every child is different. There is no right or wrong in any of this, just choices. Live and let live.

[WoTmania]

Dahlen - I'm not understanding your post very well. When you say breastfeeding til weaning are you talking about starting solids or weaning from the breast? I also breastfed my DC until weaning, the one currently nursing is nearly four...

[WoTmania]

ICBINEG have you read how weaning happens it's an excellent book with plenty of info on how to wean gently and with love.
It might also be worth going to a local LLL group - they might have some ideas for cutting down or experiences of compromises they've reached (nursing for a certain amount of time at a time, or limiting to certain times in the day, some mothers find delaying works well)

[5madthings]

I think she means starting solids as that is known as weaning.

[Dahlen]

I stopped at about 7 months, once my DCs were largely on solid food. Sorry if I didn't make that clear enough. I can't say I enjoyed BFing at all and I was delighted to stop. I am happy with my own choices and feel no need to justify them. But I admire women who are happy and able to extend BFing. I may not be able to empathise with their desire, but given that extended BFing is the way our species evolved to feed babies and younger children, I can't see why people think it's 'icky' or 'wrong'.

[WoTmania]

Ah, okay I thought I would double check as I'm more used to starting solids and weaning being completely different things. Personally I don't like the term 'extended' breastfeeding - it sounds like the mother is deliberately prolonging it rather than just taking her DC's cues on when they want to stop.

Absolutely agree with this: 'given that extended BFing is the way our species evolved to feed babies and younger children, I can't see why people think it's 'icky' or 'wrong'
Do what you want, weigh up the risks and pros and cons for yourself, your family and your baby and make your own individual informed choice however don't try and force your ideals onto other people (general 'you' BTW, not specifically you)