Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To not let my DC use the internet, have mobiles or computer games?

73 replies

SilverMoo · 10/02/2013 14:43

I have 3 DC (2,4 and 7)...

A lot of DD's friends are getting into computer games, going online and having mobiles... I am really against this for my DC for various reasons, although I will let her use the internet for school research,

What is your take on these things, AIBU and too hippy/overprotective?

OP posts:

rollmopses · 10/02/2013 19:27

YANBU.
One can train a monkey to use computer, it doesn't take much effort hence there's absolutely no reason children must start in their infancy.
7yo is obviously using computers at school and for homework, however, for the little ones, it's wonderful, that you are keeping them away from the whole tech stuff.
Imaginative play is SO MUCH more important, than knowing how to use tablets/ipods/play computer games. There's enough half-brain-dead grunting eejits out there already...
Eventually, as it's been said above, they'll become familiar with all the modern gadgets, hopefully, by then, though, they have developed enough personality/self assurance/character/interests/confidence, to use the above-mentioned gadgets moderately.

DomesticCEO · 10/02/2013 19:34

YANBU. My dh recently bought himself an iPad Mini - my 3 yr old DS mastered it in about 10 mins! It's nonsense to say parents who severely restrict access to IT at primary age are disadvantaging their kids!

I think it does make it easier to restrict it if none of the gadgets belong to them - my boys are allowed v limited access to the iPad and Mac and that's it. It's not good for them to be playing on these things for hours and they have years ahead of them to learn how to use them.

Stick to your guns!

manicinsomniac · 10/02/2013 19:40

YANBU, I have 2 children aged 5 and 10 and they won't be owning anything like that until senior school age.

They use everything except mobile phones in school anyway so they learn the skills. I just don't want them playing around on them at home.

SilentMammoth · 10/02/2013 19:44

Yanbu op.

Mine do not have mobiles or tablets. They occasionally (maybe once per month) go on internet, but house rule is that a grown up has to be sitting right next to them supervising. Not in same room, not"around", but right next to them.in terms of mobiles, dd1 will certainly be taking one to senior school, but it won't be "hers" , it will be the "travel phone" for out and about.

Startail · 10/02/2013 19:46

I should also add my computer mad DD2 is also the playmobile, trampolining, sports mad one. She's the active, sociable

The far less computer and TV addicted DD1 is the one who has never played with toys, she draws, paints and knits a bit and reads junk vampire books.

Exercise, unless it involves water, often very cold water, is not her thing at all.

SilentMammoth · 10/02/2013 19:48

Oh, and I know dd1 uses internet at school, that is fine. They have the time to supervise it properly. I don't, and frankly, if I can't supervise to the extent I think is appropriate, I'm not prioritising it. She can read a book instead.

girliefriend · 10/02/2013 20:00

yanbu, I find it quite sad now how many kids you see out and about plugged into some screen or another. If I ever mention that dd and I are going on a long car journey peoples first response is do you have a portable dvd player Umm no, she reads a book or sings - the same as I used to at her age!!

My dd watches telly probably most days but I limit it to an hour, I am as to what she would want to go on the internet for and would not trust her near my macbook anyway . She did get a leapster game thingy for Christmas but tbh she plays on it for a bit and then wanders off. I would much rather she was playing and using her imagination - she is 7yo.

LouMae · 10/02/2013 20:01

DS, 7, has a 3DS and Xbox 360. He also attends after school club four times a week, football twice a week, gymnastics once a week and swimming once a week. In summer, he plays outside constantly with the local kids but it's more limited in winter when it's cold and dark. I think, taking all that into account, he's fine to play on his Xbox and DS for a few hours a week chill out time.

Arisbottle · 10/02/2013 20:05

I allow my five year old to use my iPad, of all my parenting crimes this is the least concerning.

Sirzy · 10/02/2013 20:10

hopefully, by then, though, they have developed enough personality/self assurance/character/interests/confidence, to use the above-mentioned gadgets moderately.

Or it will be something new and exciting that they can't put down whereas the children who have been allowed sensible levels of access to things all along will have learnt to self moderate as its not something new and exciting.

ThreeBeeOneGee · 10/02/2013 20:12

We are letting ours have a mobile from 11, with internet access on their mobile on our home wi-fi once they are 13.

We've let them have internet access from age 7, on family computer in communal room, starting with a finite list of websites (CBBC etc) and working up through various levels of increasing independence.

In terms of computer games, the older two have Minecraft on the computer and DS3 will be getting it for his ninth birthday. They also play Plants vs Zombies and Bloons Tower Defence on the PC when it's their screen time.

I think that it's good to have a plan whereby they learn to use this technology in increments, supervised by you and in moderation, so they gain experience of internet safety.

lockets · 10/02/2013 20:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThreeBeeOneGee · 10/02/2013 20:29

I think what Mamabear17 says is very wise. One of the best things you can do to protect your children online is to learn about and keep up with the technology yourself. We have two levels of parental control (Kaspersky & MS Family Safety) and I understand how to use both. DS1 is going to be joining Facebook when he is 13, and I feel much more equipped to help him set up his account and privacy settings because I'm familiar with them myself.

We also try to model using the computer and our smartphones in moderation and in balance with other activities.

chandellina · 10/02/2013 21:50

Bottom line is I think there is so much time for it later. I look around on the train at everyone with their nose stuck in a phone and don't really want to bring my children to that reality any sooner than I have to. Totally agree with girlie that long car rides are for daydreams and imagination. How many children have time to daydream when they are stimulated by a screen constantly?

GrowSomeCress · 10/02/2013 22:03

Absolutely no need for a mobile or iPod or whatever til at least 11, but I would slowly begin starting with computers

Clary · 10/02/2013 22:09

I didn't allow my children to have mobile phones at 7yo, no need for them IMO.

They all had a DS at 7yo. And I think at that age they were using the internet very supervised to complete things like Cubs projects etc.

Not hippy especially but I think mobile phone is a useful tool for an older child to lead to some independence. So you need to think about when you will relax the rule. Also most children play computer games and if they are interested it helps with social situations - it's a bit like not having a TV, a bit odd today. Computer games are not the devil's work as long as children don't play them non-stop

Incidentally my DS is passionate for playing on the Wii but his most favourite things to do are athletics, playing football, being in a play and Cubs (all in RL of course). So the Wii and DS have not killed his desire to play adn socialise and be active

lockets · 10/02/2013 22:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chickydoo · 10/02/2013 22:55

Good luck!

DizzyZebra · 10/02/2013 23:25

YANBU, I am so sick of seeing little kids glued to these things.
My DD is allowed to have a little play on angry birds, and i have a toddler lock i leave on my phone in case one of them gets hold of it, The intention is that if they get hold of it, the toddler lock will keep them occupied and distract them from chucking it/chewing it.

She will not be getting one of her own before she is 12 and then it would be with strict locks and supervision, the same as i had on the internet at that age.

HarrietSchulenberg · 10/02/2013 23:31

No phones till 10 in this house. Online (CBeebies, CBBC, Club Penguin) from around 7, though DS3 is 5 and goes on Poisson Rouge and CBeebies.

They got a Wii last year when they were 11, 9 and 4 but 4 year old couldn't work it so gave up and went back to his Playmobil pretty sharpish.

Got old PSPs at the end of last year for eldest two, youngest had a Leapster for his 5th birthday.

No chance of them getting Facebook accounts any earlier than 13 and much later than that if I can make them forget about it.

fatlazymummy · 11/02/2013 09:01

I think you are being unreasonable (at least in the case of the 7 year old). I grew up in a family where we were denied access to the technology of the day (television). As a result we were excluded from a lot of the chat in the playground and our peers thought we were odd.
I don't think children should spend all their time on consoles/tablets but I don't think they should be totally denied them either, just because you don't like them.

maninawomansworld · 12/02/2013 09:19

I would allow them to use the internet under supervision and allow a few age appropriate comuter games for limited amounts of time on a weekend but moblies - hell no! Not until early teens at the earliest! I think they breed anti social kids who have no idea how to interact with people in person and also contribute to bad grammar / poor writing skills (one of my pet hates) due to all this stupid text speak.

DomesticCEO · 12/02/2013 10:00

Sirzy, hmm, haven't seen much self-moderation going on with the kids I know allowed un-limited access to these things .

Even as teenagers my boys will still be limited by their parents decisions as to how long they use these things for - my parents did it with our television watching and we will do the same.

These things are horribly addictive and my 3 yr old is already showing signs of addiction when allowed tiny amounts of access - god knows what he'll be like at 13 without us stepping in and limiting play.

girliefriend, don't get me started on in-car DVD players!!

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread