To expect my future sister in law not to announce her sudden engagement/wedding plans, less than 2 weeks after me and DP announce our last minute wedding (in May this year!)

[MadameFlutterby]

Basically me and my DP have been together for 10 years, we have 2 children together and we have finally decided to get married in summer of this year. DP's sister has been with her partner for just over the same amount of time, they also have children and have always said they would never get married/shown little interest. Two weeks ago we announced our wedding plans and all of a sudden it is plastered all over facebook (we rang everybody up to let them know personally) that they are also getting wed (in approx. 2 years time so a while off yet) and are soooo excited blah bah. Every status update since yesterday has been about their 'imminent wedding' am I being unreasonable to think it is a huuuge coincidence? Not sure if I'm reading too much into it and need some perspective.

you sound a tad bridezilla - they are not having a wedding in the same month or even the same year - let it go

how does it affect or detract from your excitement or joy in anyway? are you worried she will steal your limelight?

just don't look at facebook.

enjoy your wedding day :)

It's 2 years away, it's only a wedding, honestly, don't sweat it.

How about a joint party to celebrate engagements?

and YABVU to 'expect your sis in law not to announce her plans' within your specified 2 week time frame.

Maybe you inspired them, you should be flattered.

YABU. Congratulate them then concentrate on your wedding plans.

If the weddings don't clash then why is it a problem? Quite honestly, I can't see what the fuss about weddings really is when there's such a long time since you got together and you've already got the children together. Yes, you're entitled to feel thrilled about it all but don't expect everybody else to be as excited about it as you. Sad fact of life.

Make your plans and enjoy your day. Let FSIL do the same. :)

Maybe it's coincidence, maybe they've just realised it's what they want to do, maybe it's been in the back of their minds for a while and your announcement has given them the push to actually do it.

Does it matter? If they'd said they were getting married two weeks before you at the same venue, then you'd have good reason to be pissed off with them. But TBH, both wedding announcements will be old news for everybody else but themselves in a couple of weeks.

YABU

Their wedding is planned for two years after yours.

When exactly would it have been ok by you for them to announce their engagement?

I can understand how fucking annoying it is and it looks like they'll take some of the shine off your wedding by drawing it on to themselves, but maybe it was just the kick they needed and they realised they would like to do it too?

They could have waited though.

But then...am I detecting a bit of angst between you and your future SIL?

How very dare she. Would it have been more acceptable if she'd waited, what, a month, two, three to announce their news? Surely then she'd be closer to your wedding day and obviously out to wreck your lives, the toxic bitch!

Should she keep their news a secret till June? Get a grip.

YABU to let this bother you. Let it go. Weddings are supposed to be fun, enjoy the fact there are two parties in the pipeline! And going to weddings once you have had yours is ace. DH always holds my hand during the service and we both think back to our day and the promises we made. Tis luffly

So what, are they not ever allowed to get married now because you are?

Doory but you are being unreasonable and weird!

Congratulations

People don't get married to rain on other people's parades.

It has no impact on you or your plans.

Be happy for them.

A similar thing happened to us, just after we got engaged a close work colleague, whom i had become good friends and socialised with, announced her engagement out of the blue. She then booked her wedding date for a month before ours. It didn't bother me too much but they had much more money than us and were really flashing the cash around whereas we were on a tight budget. So I get where you are coming from, but don't let it bother you and focus on your own day - our wedding day was fab and much better than my friend's in the end. Also, they are now separated, whereas I have been very happily married for 15 years! (karma)

You sound lovely, mum47 . Schadenfreude at it's best/worst.

Yabu, I think, unless there's some big back story. Maybe it was coincidence and they've waited an extra 2 weeks to tell everyone? So you could have your moments. They choose to FB it a lot, the way they communicate such things is personal choice.

My SIL became pregnant at the same time as me. We announced my pregnancy to family, then 2 weeks later she told me about hers, then they told everyone. My previous pregnancy hadn't ended well and she said she didn't want to take anything away from. It's not the kind of thing that would have bothered me in the least. I'd have thought it funny if we'd told everyone within days, or they said "us too" the same day. Still, I appreciate the consideration and sweetness of the thought.

YABU, maybe you should take it as a compliment that your wedding plans have inspired hers! If she had decided to get wed the same day as you I could understand your problem but she hasn't, so I really don't see what your problem is

Mum47's post is really odd. What do you mean? It sounds as if you think there is some connection between what they did to you (did they actually do anything to you?) and getting separated.

I got engaged 6 months after my DSis and married within 8 weeks of her. We planned our weddings together and she was delighted I was happy rather than annoyed by it. Be happy for yourself and for your DP's brother and partner. It feels much nicer than being cross.

I think because there have been similar patterns of blatant 'copying' behaviour in the past also adds to my reasons for getting tired of it all.