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AIBU?

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Original poster

To feel completely different towards dog since having DD

170 replies

Geekster · 08/02/2013 19:10

We have a dog who we have always adored. But since we had DD last year, we feel different about her. We still really like her but not in the same way and sometimes she's a nuisance like trying to get DD's food. Don't get me wrong we would never hurt our dog or want anything bad to happen to her, and there is no way we would get rid of her. I always thought I would never feel like this, but do since we had DD. The dog has been good with DD though obviously we never leave them alone together. We will still be very upset when she dies but not distraught like we would have before DD. It doesn't make me a cold hearted bitch feeling like this, or does it?

OP posts:
CheerfulYank · 08/02/2013 19:13

I don't think yabu. My dog was my baby before, and now he's just my dog. :) I adore him, he's the sweetest old boy, but it's not the same as before.

One of my good friends did rehome her dog after she had her DD...they barely had time for it before, so I wasn't surprised.

thesnowmanrocks · 08/02/2013 19:14

No your not. Same here only its a cat! Sad

ClippedPhoenix · 08/02/2013 19:15

I had two cats before I had my DS. I gave them away once DS was born.

GlitterySkulls · 08/02/2013 19:15

really? i find that rather... odd, tbh.

no doubt loads of people will think that's fine, but it seems strange to me.

SitSpotSit · 08/02/2013 19:15

I understand how you feel and I don't think it makes you a cold hearted bitch. We used to have two cats (one now sadly died) but they were our 'babies' and then when we had our children they just were not. We still loved them of course, but the children became our priority and our focus was on them rather than the cats - if that makes sense.

KatyTheCleaningLady · 08/02/2013 19:17

I've heard other people say the same thing. My cousin told me that when she brought her daughter home, "suddenly the cat was just an animal."

NuzzleMyScratch · 08/02/2013 19:18

Hmmm. Just shut the dog in another room when your DD is eating?

Original poster
Geekster · 08/02/2013 19:19

GlitterySkulls. I used to think it odd how anyone could feel differently once they had DC and couldn't understand how they could feel like that. Until we were in that situation. Not that everyone will feel differently towards their pets. We just do.

OP posts:
Believeitornot · 08/02/2013 19:19

I don't understand why anyone would see an animal on the same level as their child, that they've felt grow in their tummy, given birth too and would die for.

So YANBU.

YesIamYourSisterInLaw · 08/02/2013 19:21

I think it's a bit odd but only because I can't relate to it.
I do think you'll feel differently as your dd grows and when she's older shell probably love the dog and they'll have a great bond

poozlepants · 08/02/2013 19:29

Same with me but it was our cats. Someone who I thought adored their cats told me this before I had a child and I wouldn't believe it would happen to me - but it did.
I felt so guilty I spoilt them even more rotten. Now DS is a little older I have moe time fo cat love and it's better.

Bowlersarm · 08/02/2013 19:35

I find these conversations quite sad. But our dogs are much younger than our children so there will be nothing to usurp them. However we got our dogs at a time we knew we could give them 100%. I just think that animals become superfluous -to people- it shouldn't be their problem, and it definitely isn't their fault. When you get a dog it should be for the life of the dog and not just as long as you want it for.

ilovesooty · 08/02/2013 19:38

I had two cats before I had my DS. I gave them away once DS was born

I don't think the OP is BU in finding her emotional focus has shifted, but I'm disgusted by the casual way that statement's been thrown out.

shashep · 08/02/2013 19:39

YANBU - was just the same with my dog - and as we farm, i spent a lot of time with him pre-babies. I never saw him as a 'child' as such - he was always the dog.

Sparklingbrook · 08/02/2013 19:40

When the DC were babies the cat probably got less attention but I still loved her and tried to give her cuddles as often as I could. I was glad she didn't leave home because DS1 screamed the place down every evening. Sad

Now they are older our current cat fits in brilliantly. She loves the DSs and gets a fuss off everyone and a choice of cosy beds at night. She is spoilt by us all. Pets are part of the family.

Herrena · 08/02/2013 19:43

I feel like this about our cats. Once we brought DS1 home, they suddenly seemed so... feline! All funny-shaped eyes and big teeth, not cute little japanese anime-type faces like before.

19 months in and I now get frustrated with them as well as DS1&DS2 because they are just two more small mammals demanding my attention!

Hopefully they will put up with us (and the DSs) until we have time to properly fuss them again....

Toughasoldboots · 08/02/2013 19:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CloudsAndTrees · 08/02/2013 19:45

I think that's really sad Sad

I love our dog all the more for the fact that my children love him so much and get so much enjoyment out of him.

EauRouge · 08/02/2013 19:45

I didn't feel the same way about my cats either. I still love them to bits but they are just cats now. They still get loads of attention- probably even more now as the DDs love them- but I don't feel the same way about them. I wouldn't say they were an annoyance or anything like that, they've just moved down the pecking order a bit. They are still much-loved family pets.

HeadfirstForHalos · 08/02/2013 19:46

I felt a bit like this with our cats when dc1 was born, but as the dc have got older the cats are central to our family again, only now they have extra people to love them.

The dc have grown up with the cats, it's been lovely.

Sparklingbrook · 08/02/2013 19:46

Why would you get rid of the cats once a baby comes along? How could you do it?

Bobbybird40 · 08/02/2013 19:47

Agree about the giving the cats away business. Wtf is wrong with people?

Pigsmummy · 08/02/2013 19:47

My cat has turned into a moody attention seeking pain in the ass since I had my baby, he is always crying for food even when just fed and gets under my feet, he also insists on sitting only knee when I am feeding baby. Hoping that he calms down a bit as he was lovely when I was pregnant, very attentive and watched over me.

NuzzleMyScratch · 08/02/2013 19:48

God knows my life would be easier if I ditched at least one of my dogs. But absolutely not, never ever.

ClippedPhoenix · 08/02/2013 19:48

disgusted? why? They were very young cats and one was forever wanting attention, there was no way I was keeping them due to knowing that there have been cases of suffocation due to a cat sitting on a childs face wanting their milk.

Cats were given to a loving home by the way --I didn't tie them in a bag and throw them in the river you know.

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