Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be worried about DD going to a music festival

47 replies

skyblue11 · 08/02/2013 16:13

DD is 17, she wants to go to a festival 80 miles away. She's so irresponsible and I know she'd be , though she reassures me that she won't lose her virginity and have sex with 3 ramdomers like someone she knows did last year. I just don't think she's sensible enough yet and she is now sulking I've asked to compromise and go for the day rather that stay in a tent, I know she'll be 1 next year and will go then anyway meantime AIBU?

OP posts:
potatopotato · 08/02/2013 16:16

She's 17, not 13. She will be absolutely fine.

CatelynStark · 08/02/2013 16:17

Let her go. She'll get cold and muddy and have a fantastic time!

quoteunquote · 08/02/2013 16:18

I think so, she old enough to make an effort to be safe, it so much fun at a festival it would be mean to make her leave, if she is in a group of friends they will be too busy to get into trouble.

Which festival?

Original poster
skyblue11 · 08/02/2013 16:18

I know she'll be drinking, she just seems really vulnerable, last time she went to a gig she went in the mosh pit and ended up getting her head banged though she told me all of this later of course!

OP posts:
GlaikitFizzog · 08/02/2013 16:21

You are being a bit U. She is 17, old enough to be behind the wheel, to get married (in Scotland at least), what difference does it make of she goes this year or next?? I was pretty much the same at 17 as I was at 18.

Give her some freedom, then she won't rebel and go anyway without you knowing.

Original poster
skyblue11 · 08/02/2013 16:21

She may be 17 but she's not very streetwise.....

OP posts:
manicbmc · 08/02/2013 16:21

She's 17. Soon she'll be 18 and you really won't have much of a say.

Let her go. She'll have a blast and it'll help her to take responsibility for herself for a couple of days.

Bejeena · 08/02/2013 16:21

She is going to have to tell her friends that she isn't allowed to stay there and that is going to feel so demoralising for her since she is already almost an adult.

If she was 15-16 I'd say no, but at 17 I'd try and tell her that she has to act responsibly, you are trusting her on this one.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 08/02/2013 16:21

YANBU to concerned - you are her mum!

You would be unreasonable to try and stop her going though. Let her camp as well, she's a big girl now and festivals are generally pretty safe places.

sooperdooper · 08/02/2013 16:22

She won't get any more streetwise if you wrap her in cottonwool

Let her go, she'll drink warm cider, sleep in a tent too small with her wellies on, come home muddy & smelly and happy

usualsuspect · 08/02/2013 16:22

Shes 17 let her go.

Original poster
skyblue11 · 08/02/2013 16:22

Yeah I suppose you're all right not much difference between 17 and 18....she's such an airhead though

OP posts:
RunnerHasbeen · 08/02/2013 16:23

I think YABU, she is already 17, she isn't going to magically become responsible the night she turns 18 if you keep treating her like a child. However, giving her some freedom might make her more mature and at least let her learn from her own mistakes. I went to music festivals from 15 and when I went to one after a break aged 22, I thought everyone there was so young.

I doubt she plans to go on her own either, so if all her friends are going you should at least listen to her. When is it, it might be a good thing for you to bargain with in the meantime "you can go if you get a part time job and save up from your own wages," for example.

YouBrokeMySmoulder · 08/02/2013 16:23

Depends on which one it is. If it is Reading or Leeds she will need more guidance than Latitude or somewhere else...

But at 17 I went interrailing for months. Am sure she will be fine.

GlaikitFizzog · 08/02/2013 16:23

Would have you stopped her going to the gig if you knew about the head banging and mosh pit? Those things are a right of passage!

You have to let her grow up she is a young adult. Let her make mistakes, she'll learn from them. You can't protect her forever.

usualsuspect · 08/02/2013 16:23

TBH at 17 I don't know how you can stop her.

Original poster
skyblue11 · 08/02/2013 16:24

Leeds....,

OP posts:
Original poster
skyblue11 · 08/02/2013 16:25

I just want her to be safe that's all

OP posts:
GlaikitFizzog · 08/02/2013 16:25

Oh and I bought my first flat at 19 and I wasn't very streetwise (whatever that actually means)

Annunziata · 08/02/2013 16:25

Who's paying?

I'd let her go if she paid it herself.

Original poster
skyblue11 · 08/02/2013 16:26

I don't want to ever stop her having fun, I haven't so far...

OP posts:
Original poster
skyblue11 · 08/02/2013 16:26

Probably I'd pay....I know what you mean, I had a mortgage at 18!!! Still paying for it!!!

OP posts:
YouBrokeMySmoulder · 08/02/2013 16:27

hmm then instead of being all arsey about it you need to make sure she is clued up and doesnt get into the trouble in the campsites. I would encourage her to go for the day though.

If she insists on camping try and make sure she doesnt get involved in mucking about with fires and pissing off the stewards.

Annunziata · 08/02/2013 16:27

Well then. Tell her if she wants to go, she gets herself a job/ does extra around the house to earn the money.

Original poster
skyblue11 · 08/02/2013 16:28

I'm not being arsey about it! I have never been to a festival so don't have a clue! Gigs yes, no festivals can't stand the mud!

OP posts: