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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To despair at EVER finding a bra that fits?!

999 replies

Silverstar2 · 06/02/2013 17:41

So, I have read every website on the subject, been measured at Bravissimo, and STILL find every single bra uncomfortable - even the ones that Bravissimo said were the right size. I just want to rip the thing off as soon as I get in from work. They seem fine for about an hour, then start to dig in.

I find that they just 'curl up' at the back, and I get horrible back fat, or dig in at the side/arm pit, but mainly on just one side! The band never seems to sit flush to my side iyswim. I have tried going up a band and down a cup, down a band and up a cup etc, have tried every style going..........

I found when I wore my saggy old too big bras they gave me no shape or support, but my god they were comfy!

I think I am about a 36/38 E/F. I have ordered and sent back about ten bras this last month as they just all HURT.

So, AIBU to just let 'em all hang out and be pain-free??!!!!

OP posts:
SorrelForbes · 06/02/2013 21:03

Sorry, stupid phone! Here's some good fitting advice courtesy of StatisticallyChallenged and HazelNutt:

Measuring
Measure under your bust (hold the tape tight) to get your band measurement. Do not add on any inches to this measurement. Then measure across the fullest part of your bust. Each 1" of difference between the two measurements equals a cup size. So, let?s say you measure 30" underneath and 35" across? That would give you a starting point of 30DD.

Usually you should take the across bust measurement whilst wearing your best fitting bra (preferably an unpadded one although slight padding shouldn?t make too much of a difference). If you think that your bras are fitting so badly that you'll get a distorted measurement, then measure without a bra, but lean forward so that your boobs are hanging towards the floor (attractive!). The cup size is always harder to get right by measuring than the band size.

Testing the band and cup
To test the band size, put the bra (in this example a 30 back) on back to front on the loosest hooks. If you can breathe but if feels tight and you can only fit two fingers underneath the wire at the front, then that's the correct back size for you. If it's so tight it's unbearable then go up a size.

The cup will differ much more between brands and styles than the back. Turn the bra round the correct way, lean forward then take your right hand and put it inside your left cup. Reach right round under your armpit/towards your back and scoop all the backfat/escapage forward in to the cup of the bra. Repeat at the other side.

Then put the shoulder straps up and adjust as necessary (not too tight as it's the back that should be doing most of the supporting work). If for example, you've started with a 30D, you will probably find that after scooping, you have some bulging over the cup and four-boobage going on! This means you need to go up one or more cup sizes. Keep going up through the cup sizes until all your breast tissue is firmly in place.

Bra myths and D+ denial
There are thousands of women who should be wearing 32 back or smaller and a D+ cup or bigger but:

? They went to M&S for fitting
? They haven't seen anything smaller than a 32 back in the shops
? Have read that [insert a really slim big-boobed celebrity] wears a 36DD and therefore cannot imagine they could need a smaller back/bigger cup (the celebrity in question is of course in a wildly wrong size as well).

So the next time a tiny woman claims to be a 34 bra, you know what to do..

A good fitting bra?
If your bra is a good fit after doing this it should:

? Be worn on the loosest hook (when new). If you can fasten it on the tightest hook then try a back size lower.

? The band should be completely horizontal

? You should only be able to fit a couple of fingers under the front of the bra. If you can get more than that, or you can pull it more than an inch or so away from your body at the back, it is TOO BIG!

? If you raise your arms, the back should not really move - no riding up

? The wires should be entirely encasing your breast tissue - breast tissue goes surprisingly far back and a lot of people don't realise this. If you feel where the wire is sitting under your arm then it should be sitting on a fairly firm surface.

? The central gore (where the wires meet) should sit flat between your boobs. if it is being pushed away, then the cup is probably too small (and the back possibly too big as well)

? There should be absolutely no lumps over the top of the cup. Take a fitted t shirt with you to put over the top of the bra and stand side on to a mirror and watch as you breathe in. If you have a bit of a bulge only when you breathe in, you probably need to go up 1 cup. If it is visible when breathing out then it's probably more like two cups or more.

? The cup shouldn't gape. If it does, it may be too big or it may be the wrong shape of bra for you. Moulded cups are particularly bad for this as they don't adapt to your shape.

? The shoulder straps shouldn't be painful and digging in. Most of the support should come from the back. If you find that you can't get enough support without the straps being so short they hurt the bra isn't for you. Most likely it's too big in the back but it may also just be a bra that doesn't suit you.

? and on that note; not every brand works for every person. There are quite distinct differences in shape between brands which mean a particular brand may just not suit the shape of your breasts.

Eastpoint · 06/02/2013 21:04

Figleaves has a section for GG+ and has lots of pretty styles. You can usually get discount codes for their website too.

SorrelForbes · 06/02/2013 21:07

happy we are always serious about bras Wink.

Have a look at this

SorrelForbes · 06/02/2013 21:10

oranges Ewa Michalak do make to order but they're non-refundable. The price their bras in Polish Zloty but IIRC the bras work out at less than £30 each. If you email them, they are very helpful indeed.

happyjustobeme · 06/02/2013 21:12

Good grief. Sorrel, i am going to have to try some on, but my boobs are nowhere near as big as the ladies with the D cups. Nowhere near.

But i will bow to your experience and knowledge and try the sizes you suggest. Where would you suggest that i start? I absolutely absolutely must have padding due to my embarrassingly stiff and pokey out nipples whenever i get even slightly cold. Smile

AnyFucker · 06/02/2013 21:12

happy honestly, I took some getting used to even accepting I was a D cup

I am tall, skinny and always thought of myself as flat chested....I wore 34B's for years and looked crap

it turns out my frame is actually smaller than I thought and the cup size bigger...it seems I should also try a bit bigger cup size to a DD (am currently wearing a 32D)

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 06/02/2013 21:16

This pic, this pic, look at this! Happy, look at this, honest, explains it much better!

Megglevache · 06/02/2013 21:17

whats the best bra for once full boobs that started an inch below the chin that now need to be rolled into a bra.

Just asking, for my friend??

CelticPromise · 06/02/2013 21:18

happy Debenhams is not a bad place to start, or John Lewis. They have a good variety.

CelticPromise · 06/02/2013 21:19

That's a great link Cheddar!

AnyFucker · 06/02/2013 21:20

cheddar, that is genius

SorrelForbes · 06/02/2013 21:24

Brilliant pic Cheddar!

happy Be brave! My very slim sister who was wearing a 34B is now wearing a 28F. My very skinny teenage niece who looks fairly flat chested is wearing a 28DD. I'm a 30G/GG and all my bras have padding. I'm a fan of the boobs under the chin look!

SorrelForbes · 06/02/2013 21:25

Megglevache Your friend might want to start with some balconnette/push up/half cup styles.

happyjustobeme · 06/02/2013 21:25

I will try debenhams on friday and report back. I have never ever been so shocked in my life. My local debenhams is quite small though, so fingers crossed.

Is it worth trying m and s? I know that the opinion of m and s is not high when it comes to bras, but as i don't want them to measure or fit me, should i try them?

RubberBullets · 06/02/2013 21:25

Anyone fancy coming down to Cornwall and sorting me out? I've wasted far too much money ordering bras online and then not sending them back in time when they don't fit. Alternatively I'm in Manchester for a week in May :)

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 06/02/2013 21:25

Sorry, got a bit carried away there! Someone linked to that on a bra thread I read a couple of months ago and I thought it was brilliant.

I am wearing totally the wrong size of bra, btw, but it's a nursing bra and DD is nearly 11 months and the thought of spending more money on nursing bras seems wrong even though I have no immediate plans for ditching bf. My underbust measurement is about 29" but I'm wearing a 34FF. Not sure what my overbust measurement is. Will it make much difference if it's a nursing bra, ie, not underwired? Or is it worth buying the right size bra anyway?

amillionyears · 06/02/2013 21:27

Agree with Megglevache.
I took ,yself off to M&S for an entire morning and literally tried on about 40 bras[did tell them first what I was doing].
And 1 fitted.
Now I know the sort I am looking for when I revisit.

mummytowillow · 06/02/2013 21:28

Get yourself off to Rigby & Peller, they have two in London I think and one in Bluewater.

I have big boobs, 38G and struggle with bras, they hurt and dig in under the arms.

Every bra I've had from them had fitted like a dream but you won't get much change out of £50 for one bra!

They don't measure they just have a look at you topless and come back with bras that actually fit, amazing!

PS Waves to Anyfucker, been ages since I've seen you around, hope your well x

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 06/02/2013 21:29

Underbust 29", overbust 39".

AnyFucker · 06/02/2013 21:31

oh, hello, MTW < waves back >

are you here just for a stealth boast with your ample boobage ? Wink

SorrelForbes · 06/02/2013 21:33

TooExtraImmatureCheddar I'm no expect on the BF thing but on those measurements, I'd say you need a 28GG (at least). Perhaps look for a cheap one on ebay and then size down once you've stopped BF?

SorrelForbes · 06/02/2013 21:34

Rubber How far into Cornwall are you? I know a great lingerie shop in Saltash.

HotPanda · 06/02/2013 21:36

Oh god, what should I be wearing?
35 inches under
41 around

AnyFucker · 06/02/2013 21:38

34DD or 34E ?

< tests out new knowledge >

mummytowillow · 06/02/2013 21:38

Anyfucker, no I hate them TBH, they are a right royal pain in the rear! Thought I'd wave as I remember of some of the excellent advice you gave when I was moaning about my knobhead ex x

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