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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To despair at EVER finding a bra that fits?!

999 replies

Silverstar2 · 06/02/2013 17:41

So, I have read every website on the subject, been measured at Bravissimo, and STILL find every single bra uncomfortable - even the ones that Bravissimo said were the right size. I just want to rip the thing off as soon as I get in from work. They seem fine for about an hour, then start to dig in.

I find that they just 'curl up' at the back, and I get horrible back fat, or dig in at the side/arm pit, but mainly on just one side! The band never seems to sit flush to my side iyswim. I have tried going up a band and down a cup, down a band and up a cup etc, have tried every style going..........

I found when I wore my saggy old too big bras they gave me no shape or support, but my god they were comfy!

I think I am about a 36/38 E/F. I have ordered and sent back about ten bras this last month as they just all HURT.

So, AIBU to just let 'em all hang out and be pain-free??!!!!

OP posts:
SorrelForbes · 07/02/2013 21:22

Alibabaandthe40nappies Try a 36GG and a 34H Grin

soaccidentprone · 07/02/2013 21:52

Mrs Koala

I think I have found the bra for you. it is lightly padded, lacy, stretch, comes in a 40a, and is skin coloured. it doesn't appear to be underwired, so no nasty wires to poke in you.

drumroll.....................

here it is

bet you don't like it Grin

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 07/02/2013 22:00

MrsKoala, why don't you wear black or white? It seems terribly restrictive. Confused

MrsKoala · 07/02/2013 23:13

Oh thank you soaccident, but you are right. I don't like it. It's very frumpy and high cut. It looks clinical/medical to me. Not keen on nude colour either.

The reason I don't want black is because I don't wear black clothes. I already have plenty of functional, white crop top things. What I want is something ultra pretty, feminine, young and sexy. I can't do links on this stupid pad but if you go to m&s bras there are plenty of balcony style, pink, green, lace, ribbons, etc bras which look lovely, but they just don't fit. I resent having to be so unsexy and restricted, so I now have dug my heels in and refuse to have something I don't like.

I find the high triangle styles very unflattering on my broad shouldered shape and have a lot of armpit fat too which wodges over if the straps are not far enough apart.

TheDoctrineOfSciAndNatureClub · 08/02/2013 00:14

MrsKoala, can you scoop the armpit fat into the cup?

TheDoctrineOfSciAndNatureClub · 08/02/2013 00:19

This triumph is in a 40a but sold out on zalando

m.zalando.co.uk/triumph-soft-sensation-t-shirt-bra-purple-tr521k076-404.html

TheDoctrineOfSciAndNatureClub · 08/02/2013 00:20

Same with this one but it's less triangley
m.zalando.co.uk/beedees-lovely-day-underwired-bra-red-b2321k01l-302.html

ThreadPirateFanjoBeard · 08/02/2013 00:27

My problem is I have a sensitive patch of skin where the top of the underwire comes round the side, so towards my armpit IYSWIM? All my bras feel like they are stabbing into me and sometimes the skin looks bruised. Tried getting fitted at bravissimo but came away with bras I hate. Once the patch of skin is sore and bruised I have to wear plasters. It's been like it for years so nothing sinister I don't think. . I don't think it's my cup size as TBH the last bras I got in my cup size seemed a bit loose. Baffling. I hate bras, they are torture and if I had smaller boobs id let them be free Sad

TheDoctrineOfSciAndNatureClub · 08/02/2013 00:27

This has 40a in coffee sugar (pale brown) and smooth skIn (peach) and looks like they had blue but is out of stock ATM

www.figleaves.com/uk/product/TF-10113532/Triumph-Body-Make-up-Underwired-Padded-Half-Cup/?size=40A&colour=Browns

TheDoctrineOfSciAndNatureClub · 08/02/2013 00:29

Um I think that means the size or the style is wrong.

Can youget non wired bras I your size?

brighthair · 08/02/2013 02:45

I need some help. I want to try my first Ewa M bra but I'm not sure what size
I'm currently wearing (no jokes!) a 34JJ which fits nicely in Panache/Curvy Kate. Freya doesn't ever fit me as the wires won't lie flat
Weirdly I measure 36-37 underbust but 36 is comfy. I've heard Ewa bras comes up smaller in the band? Should I go with a 36JJ?

AngelAtTheTopOfTheTree · 08/02/2013 03:09

MrsKoala, can you scoop the armpit fat into the cup? I REALLY want to send that comment to FHM, Nuts and GQ. So bad.

ThreadPirateFanjoBeard · 08/02/2013 07:38

Doctrine it happens whatever style I wear. I am steadfastly clinging to wired as I hate non-wired bras, but I'm probably going to have to give them a go, aren't I? Sad

SorrelForbes · 08/02/2013 07:53

Bright Hair - I own two EW CH style bras and had to order a size up in the band. It might be worth emailing them and asking for the I stretched a stretched lengths of the 34 and 36 bands so you can compare them to your current bras. Additionally, you could check on Bratabase to see if anyone else has posted the bra dimensions.

SorrelForbes · 08/02/2013 07:57

ThreadPirate - it does sound like a cut/style issue to me.

Statistically Challenged is very good at what bras come up high at the side etc. She's not normally absent from a bra thread...

Like the previous poster, you could also post a query on Bratabase for suggestions about specific brands that might be better for you.

My comfiest bras are by Cleo, Fauve, Prima Doña, EM and R&P.

ScarletLady02 · 08/02/2013 08:41

I had a shock when I recently went to a boutique to have myself measured. I'd been wearing a 38C.....and I was a 36DD/E Confused

I really don't think I'm large busted, but I was AMAZED at how much better the bra fitted.

ThreadPirateFanjoBeard · 08/02/2013 09:04

Thanks, Sorrel not sure what to do! Over the years I've worn everything And anything and it doesn't matter what I go for style wise - I just hate hate hate them. I think I may have to lay off underwires. If men wore bras you can bet your last penny they'd be more comfy!

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 08/02/2013 09:37

Sorrell I have a 34H but it comes up small in the cup - although it is a Debenhams Gorgeous one and I think they come up small generally.

Perhaps I should try a 36GG and H from Ewa M and see how I get on? Tbh I am fed up of having things delivered and having to send them back - it is a faff and I've probably spent about £50+ on delivery charges and postage over the last 6 months to only have kept one bra which doesn't even fit very well now that I've had it a couple of months. Grrrrrrrr.

soaccidentprone · 08/02/2013 10:04

I remember in the 'olden days' bra's had a metal ring attaching the strap to the cup. DM was allergic to any metal other than gold, so she had to carefully paint each metal ring with nail varnish so that she didn't come out in a rashSad

so to Mrs koala and the poster who finds under wiring a pain I have found this what do you think?

soaccidentprone · 08/02/2013 10:22

small cupped bra's handmade in England

Mrs koala, you might find something suitable there?

MrsKoala · 08/02/2013 10:26

Doctrine, they look great, thanks. I'll defo look at those sites more. I just wish I didn't feel like such a freak. Poor dh just wants to see a set of undies he likes in a shop and buy them :(

I think the problem is underwire if you need padding. It's hard to separate them, as most styles with padding is underwired. often I just cut the underwire out - tho I'm sure that's wrong.

I have seen some new ones in the dept stores with a kind of shell/cup over the boob, overlaid with lacy/mesh, but not under wired. I may check those out. Once the boobage has settled down after bfing, I think I may get some bras made to measure.

As for armpit fat, no, I can't scoop, it comes out the moment I move my arms.

MrsKoala · 08/02/2013 10:31

Thanks soaccident, I think my mum may have bought me some from there a while ago. I'll check it out. It's really nice of you to help. :)

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 08/02/2013 10:31

MrsKoala - that would suggest that you are wearing too wide a band. It sounds like you have been in the wrong size for years, which has forced your breast tissue around under your arms.

If you wear a tighter band and scoop regularly then the tissue will gradually come back to where it is supposed to be and you will find that you then need a bigger cup size.

It is such a shame you are so unhappy about it, I will save my :( face for you rather than your DH though, his need to shop is undoubtedly secondary to your need to feel comfortable and happy with yourself! :)

MrsKoala · 08/02/2013 10:40

Ha! Yes alibaba, you are right, i just remember atbthe beginning dh used to try to buy sexy gifts and i always had to say no. The trouble I've had is no measurer has ever found me a bra to fit. So I have to wear the wrong size or nothing at all. The other frustrating part is no-one believes me and thinks I'm being awkward when I say I just can't walk into a shop and pick a bra. Even my ample boobaged mates can go to bravissimo or he like, but there is only mail order for those of us at the other end of the spectrum. I order loads, try them on, then post them all back, this can go on for months to just find a bra I can tolerate. I have never found a bra which fits, looks good, is a nice material, and is comfortable. I know it's a first world problem, but I just feel such a freak. One fitter even laughed at me once.

AgathaF · 08/02/2013 11:27

I sometimes have pain with the underwiring at the front. I always did, even when I wore the wrong band size before finding these fantastic threads last year, and have always found plunge styles more comfortable, although I have a tendency to fall out of them. Anyway, I found this today and thought I would share it for anyone else who might have the same issues wires causing pain at the front